UPDATE: I swear I wasn’t trying to start no shit, I just thought it was an interesting post! LOL. Psonya adds her 2 cents to the game on her blog. Go check that one out too.
I read the blog of a single, black woman who is living and dating in the DC area. She reminds me a lot of myself at her age (late 20s/early 30s), getting her mix and mingle on. 🙂
I responded to a post that she put up today. Go check it out and let her know what you think.
No longer unemployed, no longer a bride... 
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LOL!
Me no likey chain restaurants. ROFL!
Hmm, I say to each their own. She did say that putt-putt and a sports bar would be a good option so I get the impression was more on the “safeness/boringness” of a chain for her rather than the chain itself.
Don’t get mad cause she don’t want to eat at your favorite restaurant on the first date, lol.
You know, I will admit that in my 20s I had my nose up in the air about “what I was and wasn’t going to do on a date”. That was when my boobies were still perky and I used to have more dates than time. Let’s chalk it up to youth and check the blog six or seven years from now when the new influx of cute 20 somethings hit DC and her bioclock starts ticking and her girls are getting married one by one and she has an epiphany that a man’s character and genuine interest in you is far more imporant that what restaurant he suggests. I’ve been wined and dined and traveled and then dumped after the chase was done for a younger more eager one. My first date with my fiance was TO A PUBLIC PARK. FOR FREE. No pretense, no pressure, just us sitting on a stone bridge talking about life. Sorry for blogging on your blog, but that ish got my goat!
You betta preach Karen!!! Chuuuuuuch!
THIS.
I just had the opportunity to read the post. I got all fired up and I was going to respond, but why bother? I’ll come across at a “married know-it-all” when that isn’t my intention what so ever. As Nerd Girl said you can’t keep doing the same thing expecting something different. Why won’t our fellow black woman listen and take advice for what it is? There is no us against them…
LOL! There it is. Will you erase my 2nd comment? Thanks!
Will do! I was approving you as you were typing! LOL!!
Here was my comment on her site:
I think the bottom line is to each their own. Every person that commented in this thread has their own set of dating expectations and dealbreakers. And if those things are working for you, then by all means continue.
For me, I was with you until your last sentence when you said that if a guy even mentions a chain then he’s not the guy for you. The purpose of a date is to provide a setting to get to know another person better – their conversation, attention to my comfort level, interaction with me, all of those things are more important that whether we’re in a venue that shares a name with several other buildings in the surrounding area.
Besides, just because he suggests it doesn’t mean that he’s opposed to eating in other places. Why wouldn’t you offer up another location instead of immediately writing him off? It’s really easy to say, “You know what? I have a taste for ______. Have you ever eaten there?”
She made some REALLY good points about the “last-minute date cuz we spontaneous” dudes and the “aye, you got us on the tip or snacks?” dudes, but seriously sometimes folks make dating harder than it has to be.
Dating is being open getting to know someone – not immediately deciding whether or not y’all are going to mate for life based on a suggested activity or venue.
I’m wishing we could stop with the married vs single women hatin’ and take advice for what it is worth. Comparing someone that would take a first date to a chain to the bottom or the barrel, uncultured, dull, etc says a lot about one’s own character. ;-(
I had a man. Got a divorce. Dated. Obviously the wrong men. I think I accepted too much. On a break from dating. Don’t know if or when it will end. I will say I never thought about where we ate, but its whatever to me. If that is important to someone, follow the rule. If that person misses out on a good person they just do.
I left my 2 cents on her blog. In short, I said focus on what you learn about the guy instead of what you eat. My first date with Mister (5 years on the 19th of September) was to a friend’s house party. We had finger foods and played games. It was the best time. Next date? Ice cream and a walk on the beach. I think I cooked for him before the ice cream. I don’t think we sat in a restaurant until date 4 or so.
I went over and blogged in the comments. How about we focus on the man’s character vs. his restaurant choice. But what do I know.
What Pserendipity said WORD FOR WORD! Jeezee, I’m just too old and too tired to keep fighting that fight. Hell…I got a man. The youngsters don’t want to listen and learn then I’m not trying to teach.
^^^FIST BUMP
What P said. I just don’t understand why folks don’t understand why they’re still single. Unless they want to be single. In that case – keep doing what you’re doing.
*Sigh* I’m not calm enough to respond to that right now. THAT RIGHT THERE is the reason chicks are still single and sleeping on good dudes, man……..