Ms. Smart of ThinkPrettySmart expanded her comment into a post of its own, which led to a lively comment thread. I wanted to respond to a comment left by my soror, blogger, and twitter friend SoJo Verdad.
(Sidebar: Shout out to all the Deltas getting their blog and comment on: Pserendipity, Ms. Smart and Ms. Savvy!)
But I digress. Sojo’s comment read in part:
As for you married and soon-to-be married ladies, it can also be a little irritating (just keeping it real) when y’all go on dating blogs and end your comments with “and I’ve been married for 15 years” or “and I’m getting married tomorrow”.
You might as well close with “and that’s why you boarderline barren broads (shout out to Ames lol) are all still single O_o” . It may not be your intent, but that’s how it can be misconstrued. Although, summa y’all don’t mince words and that’s EXACTLY what you mean. LOL!
And I know exactly where she is coming from, because I know that feeling. When I was single, I too would be irritated at the marrieds, flashing their married credentials and all. LOL!!! And it took me some self processing to realize that it was really about me and where I was in my singleness and how I didn’t really WANT to be single anymore but there I was. And it took me kind of getting out of my own way to really listen to what some of the married folks were really saying, because they were coming from a good place and they cared about me.
(Sidebar: I say SOME married folks because we all know the marrieds who we should be listening to about as much as we should be listening to Miss Cleo on the Psychic Friends Hotline. Call me now!!)
And much like I said in the comment section of Pserendipity’s blog last night:
If I can save any woman from making some of the mistakes that I made during my approximately 36 years or so of being single and out there in the dating game, I would love to. The game is rough for sisters. And in no place did I ever advocate a woman accepting piss poor treatment from a dude.
I always vowed to myself that if I ever got married, I wouldn’t turn into a smug married person with a know it all attitude. And if you KNOW me or even if you just “know” me and my commenting style, you know that’s not how I roll.
But what I do want is this: that everyone who desires a strong committed relationship or marriage can find one. And because someone spoke that hope into my life or prayed for me when I just didn’t have it in me anymore, I hope that I can do that for someone else. In this case, it was via some comments on a blog.
I think we all can learn from each other on this one.