A Rant Too Long For Twitter

/beginrant

Two people I know have gotten married in the last two weeks. One was my husband’s cousin 2 weeks ago and the other a friend of a friend. I am connected with both via Facebook. And I have had the dubious unpleasure of being witness to the uncouth bamas who apparently missed etiquette lessons at school or from their mamas. People, listen up: A newly married person’s FB wall is not the place to comment/ask/inquire/wonder why you didn’t get an invitation to said nuptials!! Adding on a half ass congratulations doesn’t make it any better! And tacking on a fake ass LOL, when you know your ass was serious, is obvious as hell! 

Seriously ya’ll, on my husband cousin’s wall there were like 3 or 4 folks who asked/commented why they didn’t get an invite. Granted, the cousin in question is the daughter of the pastor of one of the largest churches in her city, but still that doesn’t mean everyone in town was owed an invite! And then the cousin took the time to comment on each of these folks wall posts trying to give an explanation!!

Ninja/bish please!!

There are a variety of reasons why one may not get invited to a wedding:

  • cost
  • lack of space
  • the need to invite family as opposed to friends
  • the bride and/or groom doesn’t really like your ass
  • they honestly forgot
  • some other reason that they really don’t need to explain to you

At any rate, have some grace and inquire offline, if you feel that you just have to inquire at all. And if you get an answer that you don’t agree with from the newlywed, don’t press the issue. Either it’s something you can live with or you can’t! And there isn’t really anything you can do about it.

But don’t go posting shit on their wall about it!!! Being passive agressive just gets your post deleted. At best. At worst, you get cussed out.

Quit doing the utmost trying to be gangsta via social media! You know I hates an internet thug!!!

/endrant

For The Win!

Best comment on a wedding related website EVAR.

From WeddingBee: commenter redherring wrote:

I am so f’ing sick and tired of people “joking” about how I’m a bridezilla. I think I’m being fairly laid back – my bridesmaids are wearing basically whatever they want, I don’t care if they want to have their makeup/hair/nails professionally done, my fiance was 100% in charge of what the menfolk should wear, I want the bar to remain open throughout the entire post-ceremony event because it’s definitely what our guests will want, we’re taking all of our formal pictures before the ceremony so our wedding party can attend the cocktail hour, etc. But whenever I express an opinion about anything at all, I get called a bridezilla. Seriously – am I supposed to be comatose?! We’re spending thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours planning this event. Yes, I’m going to have opinions. No, that does not make me a raving bitch.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, just about sums it up.

I gotta get back to work now. I’ll holla!

Debauchery

As I type this post, Myron should be getting ready to land in Vegas, with all his groomsmen, cousins, and brothers for his own special edition of……………………………wait for it, wait for it:

Let the foolery commence!!!

As for myself, I will enjoy 2 whole days of uninterrupted sleep, not being frozen by the A/C and not having to fight over the bed covers…LOL!!
I am also going to be doing my menu tasting today, so I will make sure I get some good snaps to show ya’ll as well.
If you are married, did you husband have some sort of bachelor party? Would you care if your fiance’ wanted one???

Un-Invited

Remember the RSVP snafu from this post???

Well I sent soror A an inbox message on Facebook  to chat with her about it. I would have emailed her but she never checks her email and time is of the essence at this point. I explained that I didn’t invite soror B and there was reasoning behind it. I also told  her that I would be more than happy to contact soror B and gently “uninvite” her. Fortunately for me, soror A was mature about the whole thing and offered to tidy things up herself.  I’m glad but I would have no hesitation about typing those words or making that call.

While I’m on the subject of sororities, for my readers who aren’t familiar I am a member of a historically black service sorority. With that being said, I have 28 line sisters (pledge sisters is another way to understand it).

I am friendly with them all (at least the ones we can keep up with) but not close to all of them. So I didn’t invite them all, even those whose weddings I had been invited to; though that may have been 5-10 years ago. So it’s beyond me to why soror B would even want to come to my wedding. We don’t talk. Other than seeing her at homecoming or posting on our internal listserv, there is no communication. So spending $35 on a plate for her ass is not going to happen. She can go and be nosy at someone else’s wedding. I am probably being somewhat Bridezilla and perhaps not very gracious but oh well. There were some people I really wanted to invite and couldn’t due to having to invite family so she definitely wouldn’t have made the cut in the first place.  Perhaps if she just hadn’t assumed, I probably wouldn’t have cared as much.

Well, I try to keep it real on the blog and  and as such, you get to see the good, the bad and somewhat ugly part of wedding planning. LOL!!! I think I am done ranting now. 🙂

Tick Tock

I was reading this post over at WeddingBee this morning and it got me to thinking.

My fiance’ will be the first to tell ya’ll that I am not always the most punctual of folks. In fact, there have been some arguments intense discussions over my timeliness (or lack there of, sometimes).

But it raises an important issue for discussion: At what point do you have to lock people out of your wedding ceremony because they are late? I don’t mean lock them out or delay their entrance in an ugly acting way but in the sense that if they are allowed entrance it would be disruptive during the ceremony?

This is something that especially important for me because we are having the ceremony and reception all in one place, which is a 3300 square foot ballroom. There is one entrance into it. So, anyone who comes in after our ceremony begins will probably be noticed. We will have a security officer and I will have a day of coordinator. Do we put them on ‘bouncer’ duty??

I don’t know and I will have to talk to my venue contact and my DOC about this further.

From the guest perspective, what is the latest a wedding you’ve been to has started?

Is it disruptive to you when other guests arrive late?

Have you been to a wedding where other guests got “locked out” because they were tardy??

What’s NOT Hot In The Streets

Breaches of etiquette as observed this weekend:

  • It’s NOT  hot to inform the bride that you got your invitation in the mail (sorority sister A), that you plan to RSVP and that sorority sister B told you to tell me that she was planning to come to the wedding despite the fact that she was not invited. She was not invited for a reason. We aren’t that tight.
  • It’s NOT hot to cross out the number of seats reserved for you on the invite and add extra people. Sir, you are divorced now which is why you got ONE invite. How about calling to ask whether I can accomodate plus ones??
  • It’s NOT hot to have your guests fill out their own envelopes at your baby shower for the thank you notes. Quit being lazy and take the time to write them out or at the least do some labels. It’s not like you don’t already have the addresses!!!!!

That’s all for now. *sigh*

Sticks And Stones

One aspect of my personality that I am not particularly proud of is that I can be somewhat thin-skinned, in particular when it comes to family. I try very hard to not be overly critical of other people’s choices but like most human beings, I can be judgmental. And of course, part of being a big girl is the need to recieve criticism, hopefully in a way that’s constructive. But like I said, I’m only human and humans are flawed.

There was an incident this weekend where a soon to be family member made a comment about my wedding invitations and it really pissed me off. The family member was just joking but I didn’t really care. It pissed me off.  I worked hard on those invitations, I wanted them to look classy and to have them dismissed like that really stung.  I was also pissed because I have worked really hard to pull together a wedding experience that will be memorable, not just for me and Myron but for our collective families and friends.

If you are planning a wedding yourself (or with your groom’s help), there are a lot of man-hours that go into making the decisions. There is a lot of research and legwork that must be done. And as such, nobody wants to make a mistake. Nobody wants to have an affair that seems half-assed.  You want to make sure the moment is perfect.

And of course, that’s just not possible. Nothing in life is perfect.

But you’d like to think on your day, it might just turn out like that.

But weddings are intensely personal for the people involved in them and there is a certain ‘vision’ if you will, that the bride hopes to be able to pull off with the ceremony and reception.  This isn’t my child but it is OUR creation and I don’t take this for granted or take it lightly, even if others do.

So I say all that to say, that sometimes it would help if folks were gentler with their words. I think Erykah Badu said it best at the beginning of her hit song ‘Tyrone’: I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit.”

I’m no singer, but this is my shit and I’m kinda sensitive too.

Thanks for letting me vent. 🙂

Confessions, Pt. 1

I have a secret confession, I used to love going through the local Sunday paper and looking at the wedding announcements. I especially loved seeing black brides getting married. Since everything is now done on the interwebs, I still love looking at the wedding announcements, especially the ones in the New York Times. I love to see the diversity, since they show gay weddings/commitment ceremonies as well as people of color and older folks (than average) getting married.

I thought this one was particularly sweet. Click here to go and take a look.

You are never too old to find love. Sometimes you are lucky enough to find it twice.

Yes, They Can!

This is a bit extreme for me but this couple won’t be in any debt after they get married and they were eco-friendly. However, this takes DIY to another level.

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We were in Bed, Bath and Beyond for FOUR hours today finishing up our registry. Myron had a ball, I am exhausted. It’s time for a little nap. LOL!!!

Be back tomorrow.