I’m Still Here

My life hasn’t had too many words as of late but perhaps the pictures can speak for me.

We had a very good Easter:

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My mom and my niece in their Easter dresses.

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Miss Chandler is missing some front teeth!

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Happy Easter from the Macks!

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Daddy’s little girl.

It’s spring time in Houston (FINALLY) and Lent is over so it’s time for crawfish!! We went to the Pearland Crawfish Festival this weekend.

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Corn, potatoes and bugs..10 pounds worth!

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Lots of ducks to win a prize.

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The brothers Mack: middle, oldest, youngest.

And of course, everyone loves a Carnival!

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Hopefully it’s warming up where you are!

Switching Things Up

So I alluded in yesterday’s post (do I still have any readers??), that I had a bit of news about our pre-marital counseling. Well, we have decided not to continue on with the counseling that is offered at our current church.  Why, you may ask?? Well there are a couple of reasons.

  1. I have asked my uncle to marry us, he has agreed to do so, and as a result he requires his own counseling sessions. We aren’t going to go to 2 separate counseling sessions. That’s just not going to happen. We are going to meet with my uncle on Saturdays and he requires four 2 hour sessions.
  2. Our instructor cancelled last week’s class because of weather. We missed a session on our own. Therefore, we are already 2 sessions behind at this point and in order to complete the course we would have to pick those sessions up at the end. We’ll be damn near married by that point!!
  3. We aren’t really getting what we thought out of the class. The personal inventories and questionnaires are good for self-reflection but I don’t think we are getting enough real life application thus far. The book is outdated and while God’s word and scripture is timeless, the material is in need of an overhaul, to say the least.
  4. Twelve weeks is just TOO DAMN LONG for any type of class where I am not getting a grade!

So we start counseling with my uncle on July 31st. I still plan to blog about what we learn in those sessions as well. Stay with me and of course, continue to pray for us.

Odds and Ends: The Post Holiday Edition

Hey all, how was the Fourth of July weekend? What did ya’ll do? My weekend was pretty low key. My sweetie  took off Thursday and Friday for a 4 day  weekend and I enjoyed having him at home. His baby sister was in town on vacay so we hung out with her and the in-laws for a visit to the Breakfast Klub and then took her out solo for some sushi. We spent a rainy (monsoon-like) Thursday afternoon in Bed, Bath and Beyond doing another registry to the tune of 230 (!) items. On the actual July 4th holiday, we ate BBQ at the in-laws and had some margaritas on the patio at a local Tex-Mex joint.

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I pulled the trigger on ordering the invitations last night. Should be here in a week or so. I am cutting it close time line wise so I had to get it moving. My RSVP deadline is August 31st.

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I talked to the private baker who works out of her home. Her work is very good. Her pricing…er..um…is actually a little MORE expensive than what we were quoted by the Cake Affairs folks. I’m going to go with my mom to Sam’s to give them a once over but I think we’re sold on Cake Affairs.

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I have an update on our pre-marital counseling for ya’ll but I’m gonna hold the details for a longer post tomorrow.

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Ya’ll remind me that I need to take my dress in this week for alterations, OK???

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Tell me something good in the comments. Vacation plans???

Can Marriage Be Taught???

This just came across my radar this morning. This article talks about the rise of marriage education classes and if they aiding in preventing divorce. It’s good food for thought and since we are taking our pre-marital classes right now, I thought it was a good follow up.

Here’s the Washington Post article. Take a minute to give it a read. Let me know your thoughts.

The Counselor Is In: Week 4

Editor’s Note: There is no week 3 update because we missed that session and will have to make it up on the back end.

We completed week 4 of our pre-marital counseling last week and it was actually a very interesting and worthwhile topic. This chapter is called Marriage God’s Way and it talks about the concept of preparing for marriage in the context of leaving your family of origin. I talked about it some in a very early post I did called Leaving and Cleaving.

Of course there were some self inventories that we both needed to do such as a 16 question Families of Origin Study which included such queries such as your families occupation (blue collar or white collar), marriage state of the parents, family rules/values, views about sex, religion, work, even politics.  There were even questions about family secrets, how conflict was handled and family boundaries.

We were then asked to compare and contrast our families of origin and examine what impact our family of origin has had on us both positively and negative. I think as human beings we don’t realize how much we are shaped by our parents, at least not until we become adults. There are things about our parents relationship that we want to carry forward into our marriage and certain things we want to leave behind.

The other part of the chapter dealt with in-laws. We were asked to evaluate our relationships with our prospective in-laws. I’ve said before that I lucked out with the in-laws. Myron has great parents who are loving and accepting of me and most importantly to any new marriage, they are not intrusive.  My parents love Myron to pieces and are so excited that someone is taking me off their hands. LOL!!! Trust me when I say, I know I am blessed in this area because I have heard horror stories!!!!!! As a reference to examples of a good father-in-law and mother-in-law the scriptural texts were Exodus 18 and the Book of Ruth.

This was a good session to me. There was a lot of discussion amongst the session leaders and us and the other couple. It was interesting to hear the other couples perspective as well because they are both children of single parents and the other bride is a divorced mother as well.  Clearly, since Myron and I both come from intact two parent homes, we are becoming more of the exception and not the rule.

But what I took from this particular lesson more than anything is that though you are designed by your own family, it’s very important to design your OWN marriage. What worked for your folks may not work for you, but it doesn’t hurt to listen to their wisdom.

You are however, under no obligation to follow their path.

Drop your dealing with the in-laws wisdom in the comments for us.

The Counselor Is In: Week 2

Last night, we attended the second session of pre-marital counseling at our church. In addition to the female counselor that I mentioned last week, we were joined by the male counselor (they have a man and a woman for balance) who is also a minister.
 
This session consisted of discussing the questions we were supposed to do for homework. There were 3 sets of questions, a relationship history,  a relationship inventory in which you were to evaluate your relationship as it currently is, and a set of questions dealing with your expectations for marriage and for your partner within a marriage.
 
We discussed good and bad points within our relationships, talked about why we wanted to marry our partners and our definitions of a good marriage. Of course, because the counseling is Christian and Biblical based the counselors stressed the need to have a God-centered marriage and the need to get professional counseling if we encounter serious problems in our marriage (it’s men that are more resistant to counseling than women). 
 
One of the questions in the relationship inventory was very PC in how it was asked but it basically dealt with pre-marital “relations” and how basically engaged couples shouldn’t be having them..LOL!!! But we will be getting more in depth about “relations” a little further along in our sessions and both counselors insisted that the discussions will be candid. 
 
I didn’t necessarily get the best impression after the initial counseling session but I felt better about the second round. I was wondering if we were sharing enough (without oversharing) because the other couple is quite chatty. But Myron had to gently remind me that we are who WE are and that was fine. (Thanks, babe!) So, I am ready to dig deep and get the most from the sessions that I possibly can. Any tips that I can take with me to make our marriage the most successful and strong that it can possibly be is worth it and very important to me.
 
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Following are some of the questions that were asked in the various inventories. You might want to jot down your answers. It’s definitely food for thought.
 
1) List 3 best/worst memories from your dating experience with your partner?
2) Name 3-4 things you like to do together for fun?
3) Where does God fit into your relationship? Do you feel you have spiritually hindered your partner in anyway?
4) What is your definition of marriage?
5) What do you bring to a marriage? What does your partner bring?
6) What are your expectations of marriage and of your partner in your marriage?

The Counselor Is In

 
Last Thursday we went for the first week of 12 (!) weeks of pre-marital counseling. We are getting counseling at the church that I was baptized at and that Myron currently attends. Both sets of parents also attend church there but I left and attended another church once I became an adult.
 
Our counselor is a lady who has been certified as a Christian counselor but is on her third marriage (!!!!!) of 22 years. I kind of gave her a side eye on that but seeing how I haven’t been married at all, I decided to let her make it.
 
There is a another couple who started with us. They are a bit younger, in their late 20s and the bride is divorced with a young son. They had already filled in the first chapter of the workbook, making me and Myron look like slackers..LOL!! I hate overachievers!
 
The book we are using is called: “Preparing for Marriage God’s Way” by Dr. Wayne Mack. It’s a workbook style that you can write in and isn’t snazzy on pictures or anything. Click the link if you want to peruse the contents a bit. Methinks that being published in 1986, that they could use some updates to the reading material but oh well…*shrugs*
 
So my plan is to blog weekly on what topics are covered in the book and just give a brief overview of what the class was about. I won’t get very detailed because I am not gonna put all of our business out on the interwebs, but perhaps this will help some of the brides/grooms or singles who stumble accross this blog.
 
Our next class is this Thursday. I’ll try to run a post a few days after that.