The View From Here – 2013

I think I stopped blogging in August. I turned 40 this year and though I was not depressed or despondent about doing so..I think I ran out of words. I felt like I didn’t have anything to talk about and the blogging mojo was gone. So I took a break…for about 5 months..LOL!

But the thing about writing is that it’s just like riding a bike, you never forget how, you just get back on and start pedaling.

2013, in retrospect, was better than 2012 (which totally sucked ass BTW). But it was just average, no razzle dazzle or pizazz, just kind of lackluster. I felt somewhat meh about this year, like I was just in a holding pattern so to speak. I don’t feel like I made the progress towards some of the goals I wanted to accomplish, so I plan to do a reset and attack them again in the new year.

I entered my third year of marriage in 2013 with my husband being in the hospital which was a scary reminder of our mortality. He’s a LOT better now thank God. Lifestyle changes are in process, slowly but surely. And my husband is still truly a blessing in my life. I am lucky to have married such a great guy.

I ended 2013 still working on a contract basis at my current gig but immensely grateful to have gainful steady employment and work at a company that treats me decently and doesn’t work me too hard. I’m still looking for the right opportunity on a full time basis, but I have a measure of comfort knowing that I have somewhere to go each weekday morning to earn a living.

My family is healthy, my niece and nephew are growing like weeds, and my brother found some gainful employment that suits him. They are happy which makes me happy. Many of my friends had personal triumphs this year such as new jobs, new homes, new marriages and new babies, which is always a good thing.

So more than anything, I’m grateful for being able to have a 2013. Some folks will not see this upcoming new year. And I look forward to 2014, where I have another chance to get it right. Another chance to go get my blessings and what God has for me.

With that being said, let’s do this. Allow me to re-introduce myself…

Sandwiched

I was reading the blog of one of my Twitter friends and I noticed that she lives with her mom and helps provide care for her. Then I happened to be on FB and saw the status of one of my college roommates giving an update on the progress of her mother, who had suffered a stroke in late 2012 and who had come to stay with her on a full time basis. That got me to thinking, as we age, our parents do too. And as part of the sandwich generation, many folks are raising kids while assisting with elderly parents. And while if you are married, you may have some help shouldering the load, it’s much more difficult if you are a single person (with or without kids). My folks are in relatively good health for their ages (early 60s) however Myron’s mom left us way too soon at the age of 57 so it’s probably time for me to have that (morbid) chat with the parental units. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.

Have you talked with your parents about their long term health care or retirement plans? If you are married, how are you handling it?

If you are single, what are you doing? And if you are single, how do you balance managing all of that and trying to date? Are you dating at all?

Bowlarama!

Above are a few pictures from Myron and I’s 40th birthday bowling party on this past Saturday.  (And yes, I semi-bowled in a dress..LOL!)

We had a really good time, despite the fact I stressed myself out unnecessarily about the guest list. We paid for 20 folks to bowl, eat and drink which as you can imagine wasn’t all that cheap.  I had to chase folks down for responses and some people that I thought we going to come declined to show. And I was upset about that I must admit. It’s not that I don’t think folks don’t have their own lives and social calendars, but my husband and I really try hard to support folks when they have an event so I was a bit salty about some of the folks who declined. And of course I was all in my feelings about it, because I consider myself a loyal friend. But much like my peeps on Twitter and my husband pointed out, I have to give people the opportunity to explain themselves and they did. After a lecture from my husband (he secretly enjoys that, I think) about getting my mind right, I was OK and got my grown and sexy on to go kick it!

But at any rate, we had a good turn out! I had all that anxiety and drama for nothing.  We ate, drank and were very merry and got some nice gifts. I wasn’t expecting anything so that was such a nice blessing. I really appreciated the thoughtfulness. And I collected some rain checks for birthday lunches from some of my friends who couldn’t make it! #WINNING

Forty is starting out on a high note thus far!! I’m ready to keep it rolling!

Thirty Nine

Today is the last day of my fourth decade on this planet. I turn 40 tomorrow. I’m still unpacking that in my head. I. AM. TURNING. FORTY. YEARS. OLD.

I feel some kind of way about it ..I think.

It seems like yesterday that I was graduating from college, then hustling to find a job, then moving to Dallas for said job, then hating Dallas and running back home after 6 months, leaving my college boyfriend in the process. Then I dated a good friend that I’d known since college, then broke up with him, started and finished grad school, bought a house, ran the streets with my sorors and other girlfriends, traveled out of the country for the first time, had good dates and horrible ones and suddenly I was 30. It’s like my twenties were a blur.

At 39, the memories of my fourth decade are more crystalline, more frozen in time, more focused. I guess as you get older, you want to trap more of those memories in your subconscious.

In my thirties I:

• Sold my house
• Moved to Minnesota for my then boyfriend
• Proved to myself I could live somewhere else and have a good life
• Left a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere and moved back home
• Dated an ex (for the second time) that I shouldn’t have
• Got therapy when I needed it
• Went to the Bahamas and swam with dolphins
• Saw Prince in concert
• Bought another house
• Got laid off/fired a couple of times
• Lost my final remaining grandparent
• Met the coolest dude on the planet
• Planned and pulled off a wedding for 150 people
• Married that really cool dude
• Got a lesson about who is a true friend and who wasn’t
• Saw the Grand Canyon
• Became an aunt to my brother’s 2 adorable children
• Put my feet in the Atlantic, Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico
• Supported my spouse in the loss of his dear mother
• And really for the most part came into my own

I’m sure my life event list could be longer but those are some of the ones that really stick out to me. And that’s what is so wild, that’s just ten years’ worth of stuff. Now that I read that, I guess I don’t feel so uneasy about turning the big four oh after all. It might be just another day, but it’s another day I get to learn, growth, evolve and LIVE.

Now that’s worth celebrating, don’t you think?

Odds And Ends: Memorial Day Weekend Edition

Hey ya’ll, what’s up? How was your holiday weekend? Of course it’s always too damn short. But hubs and I made the best of it anyway.

Saturday, we lazed around and had a very late and delicious brunch. Myron broke our very nice waffle iron and we had waffles, sausage and hash brown potatoes topped with cheese and sour cream. So that big meal deserved another epic nap and so an epic nap was taken!

We then got up and got dressed to head out to hang with a friend at a day party she was hosting, then left there to go to another friend’s crawfish boil. We stayed there for the rest of the evening, good eats (and drinks) were had by all.

Sunday, seems a slight hangover was acquired by yours truly so I slept a bit longer and then we got up to check out Hangover 3. It was funny, but underwhelming. Wait for the Redbox or Netflix for that one.

After the movie, we ran by the store so I could pick up the ingridients for the evening’s snack: Hot Crab Dip with Crostini. A very “savvy” Twitter friend shared the recipe with me.

Nap time again commenced. I woke up to 2 frantic messages from my mom and aunt, imploring me to come meet some relatives who were in from California, whom I barely knew and wanted to see me. Reluctantly and petulantly, I threw on some clothes and went to my parents house, where I was ooohed and aaahed over like I was an infant. It was annoying to say the least. I hadn’t seen some of these folks since I was a child and probably won’t see them again anytime soon but dutiful child duty called so there we are. I ate a burger, had some of my dad’s awesome sprinkle cake and chit chatted. I made my escape after an about an hour and went back home.

Upon arriving home, I straightened up the kitchen and made the hot crap dip, which was excellent and so luxuriously rich. It’s definitely a holiday or special occasion treat as it’s not cheap to make!

Monday, I laid upon my arse almost the entire day, with the exception of a bit of kitchen duty and some vaccuuming. Hubs did some fajitas on the grill, I made myself a margarita in the blender and called this weekend a wrap.

What did you do this past weekend?

On Mamas And Marriage

I woke up this morning and looked at my FB feed and my Instagram and saw all of the pictures of kids and their moms and I was loving it all. It made my heart so full and it was so fun to look at my friends and realize from whence they came and see them looking like mini-me’s.

But in the Mack household it was bittersweet. It was very bitter for my dear husband. He lost his mom a year ago on May 9, 2012. Yep, right before Mother’s Day. It’s sweet for me because I am blessed to have my mom still here with me, to love on and to cherish.

So it was hard for him, and it was hard for me because it’s awkward when one spouse’s parent has gone to be home with the Lord and the others is still here. Especially when it’s the FIRST anniversary. Those firsts are always the hardest. And it’s hard because you don’t always know what to say. And so I was stressed out about it. And when we went to the store to get peach roses for his mom to place on her grave and to get a gift card to my mom’s favorite store, it just doesn’t seem fair. And it isn’t, because life isn’t fair. When he hurts, I hurt too.

But my husband is so wise and so brave, and he reassured me that I need not be subdued in my celebration of my mama. After all, that’s what I should do and he was happy to celebrate her, after she was his family now too. And I was able to exhale, and to relax, and to be thankful for the gift HIS mom gave to me: which is him. And this is why I love him so.

And so we remembered his mom with peach roses. And celebrated my mom with cards, gifts, a fine dinner, and lots of hugs and kisses.

Happy Mother’s Day Frances. Happy Mother’s Day Ruthie. Our love overflows for you both.

I’m Still Here

My life hasn’t had too many words as of late but perhaps the pictures can speak for me.

We had a very good Easter:

My mom and my niece in their Easter dresses.

Miss Chandler is missing some front teeth!

Happy Easter from the Macks!

Daddy’s little girl.

It’s spring time in Houston (FINALLY) and Lent is over so it’s time for crawfish!! We went to the Pearland Crawfish Festival this weekend.

Corn, potatoes and bugs..10 pounds worth!

Lots of ducks to win a prize.

The brothers Mack: middle, oldest, youngest.

And of course, everyone loves a Carnival!

 

Hopefully it’s warming up where you are!

A Family Affair

Yesterday, Myron was on FB and saw something his aunt posted about one of his family members which triggered a bit of internet sleuthing and ended up with him mapping out 3 generations of his family tree on Ancestry.com. The site is pretty slick, as it lets you view copies of public records such as draft cards, census reports and marriage rolls if they are available.

We spent a good portion of yesterday evening talking about what he’d found out such as:

•  A female ancestor of his moved to the UK shortly after being emancipated from slavery.
• A male ancestor fought in WW1 and we were able to see his draft card.
• A great-great grandmother was married at least 3 times and we saw the various name changes on the census records
• A great-great grandfather apparently fought on the side of the Confederacy!!!  He applied for a Confederate pension but was denied. Here’s a picture of the application.

And we haven’t even started mapping my side of the family yet. I’m excited to see what I find out. I’m going to have to call my mama and take good notes.

Do I have any amateur genealogists out there? Any tips for us??

Odds And Ends: Hump Day Edition

• I’m thinking about doing a vlog for ya’ll. Do I need to set up a YouTube channel and alla that? Do I have to wear make-up? Where is the best place to film a vlog in your house? As you can see I have questions..lots of them.
• Do you have the Songza app on your phone? This Essential Motown playlist is giving me ALL OF THE LIFE right now!
• I’m eating cake right now at work. Don’t tell Myron.
• I’ve been trying to get the energy up to do some real blogging instead of all these Odds and Ends random ass posts but every time I think of a topic I want to talk about, I forget it.
• Cassandra at Cohab Chronicles links to this blog called Friday 5 for post ideas. I think I’m going to start using some of these prompts. I really want to write, it’s just sometimes the flesh is weak…and then it falls asleep.
• Shit married people do: walk around the house singing the operatic version of “As Long As My B*tches Love Me” by Lil Wayne/Future/Drake. Said lyrics go like this:I’m on that good kush and alcohol/I got some down b*tches I can call
  I don’t know what I would do without y’all/I’mma ball til the day I fall

• Yeah, we’re a bit ratchet and a whole lot of silly. But it was funny though! LMAO!!!
• Are ya’ll watching House of Cards on NetFlix? That shit is crazy good!!!
• We are history nuts so we are looking forward to watching The Bible and Vikings on the History Channel. March 3rd cant get here fast enough.
• March 3rd is also my brother’s birthday. He’ll be 28. I feel really old now.  *sigh*
• I normally look forward to the NBA All-Star games and skill challenges like the 3 Point Shoot Out and Slam Dunk contests. They were absolutely horrible this year. And I didn’t even bother to watch the actual All Star game. I did turn back long enough to see Alicia Keys crash and burn. That was vindication enough. 🙂
• How does a grown man slap a toddler on a plane, call the kid a racial slur, and be able to walk off the plane under his own power?? Shouldn’t there be dismemberment involved?
• I have eaten ALL this cake and drunk some punch. I really need a nap now.
• That’s all I got for a Wednesday afternoon. What are ya’ll doing??

Odds And Ends: The Call of Nature Edition

How was your weekend? Mine was great!

•  Friday night, hubs and I went to hang out with Beautifully Complex, her fiance’ and his brother at Fedora Lounge. Little did we know that it turns into the club after 10pm complete with valet parking. In a strip shopping center.  Doing too much you say? We thought so too but a good time was had by all.
• Saturday, we lounged around and had a hearty breakfast, then took a nap and then dragged oourselves from the couch to head to a baby shower for some friends of ours. We went, ate (really good baby shower food), cooed, oohed and ahhed and then made a break for it to go to the main event of the evening: Serious Cigars Customer Appreciation Event. Beautifully Complex’s fiancé is a diehard cigar buff and he invited us to come to this party that his cigar shop has every year. Free food, free open bar with top shelf likka and prize giveaways?? What’s NOT to love!! Here are a couple of pics from the party.




• Sunday, I was lying in the bed resting quietly when Myron came in our bedroom and mentioned that he wanted to check out this restaurant that he’d saw on TV that morning. The place is called Lucille’s and we hit up their brunch. Here are some Instagram shots I took.






• We’re family right? So we can share things with each other right? Good. Because I want to rap a taste about the middle of the night pee. Yes, THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT PEE. The MOTNP is when you are deep in the REM sleep and dreaming about the things you would do to Idris Elba (if you weren’t married) and the urge comes on so STRONG. Yet, you try to suppress the call of nature because you are in that good ass sleep and it’s Idris, yanno?? But the URGE defeats you and you stumble out of bed to the bathroom, in the dark but luckily since you are a girl, you just need to sit (provided that dude you live with has put the seat down) and you don’t need to cut on the light to harm your delicate eyes. So you do your business, stumble back to bed, poke your husband in the butt so he can move back over, lie down and get comfortable. And you can’t get back to sleep. MOTNP – I hate you.
• That’s all I got! What’s going on with you?????