What’s In A Name?

I didn’t watch the Academy Awards last night because they are too long and boring and I was tired from my out of town trip, but I did periodically check my Twitter account to see what my timeline had to say about the show. Mostly there were tweets about how Seth McFarlane pretty much sucked and that per the usual, the show ran WAY too long. So I got ready for bed and figured I didn’t miss much.

I got in bed and grabbed my phone (I have an addiction, I know), settled in and pulled up Twitter again to see folks final commentary and when I logged back it my feed was ON FIYAH. Apparently the Onion, a website known for its biting satire had called a 9 year old girl a very ugly name. I’m not going to link them but this blog post pretty much gives a good summary.

I typically don’t hop on the Twitter bandwagon about a lot of things because if you did, you’d be mad about something every 30 seconds and half the time it’s faux outrage but I have a 7 year old niece and I certainly wouldn’t want her called out of her name. It’s very telling that there have been other Oscar nominees who have been children who apparently are off limits, but when a little black girl dares to correct someone about how to pronounce her name, then it’s a problem. I get that Quevenzhane Wallis is a celebrity and is in the public eye, but she’s still a kid. There was a time in our society when kids were exempt from public ridicule and attack. Apparently that time has passed. This should be one of the happiest days of her life and it’s tarnished because some asshole on a Twitter account thinks it’s cute and funny to call out a kid in the name of laughs. I’ll be first to say that people, black folks especially, have a knack for coming up with some creative names for children. I have seen some names that have made me shake my head and wonder how to pronounce them. But the point is, a person’s name is a person’s name and they have to right to be called by that name. And calling children, be they celebrities or the 9 year old around the corner words used to crudely describe female genitals is bad business and out of line.

I’m getting tired of the coarseness of pop culture and the mindset that anything goes and you can’t tell folks shit cause they can do what they want. Unbeknownst to them there ARE boundaries and there are folks who still believe in common decency.

I took the time to drop a few sentences to the good, fine upstanding folks at the Onion and I hope you will too. Here’s how to get at them:

Please send all press inquiries to: press@Theonion.com

Chairman David Schafer (davidkschafer@gmail.com)

President and CEO Steve Hannah (shannah@Theonion.com)

COO Mike McAvoy (mmcavoy@Theonion.com)

Update: The Onion apologized. Yeah, no. The comments on the status are a mixed bag. Read at your own risk.

Re-Caps: Before the Ceremony

The day of the ceremony was pretty uneventful prior to the wedding. I stayed at my parents house the night before while Myron went home and went to hang out with his best man.

That morning I woke up, drunk some coffee and ate breakfast with the fam, got all cleaned up and waited for my stylist to arrive. Here’s a picture of the wedding hair. Let’s just say my stylist did wonders with a bag of Milky Way weave and about 50 hairpins!

I took the bun out the VERY next day! My head hurt!

Outside of the venue

Our sign!!

The set up

A word about the set up. There were 64 chairs set up chapel style and the rest of the guests were seated at the tables.  I had some anxiety about how it would look but it worked out great.  And the venue broke down the the swags and runners and set up the chairs and tables for my family and bridal party so seamlessly that I barely noticed it while we were taking pictures. By the time we were finished taking pics the tables on the floor were done and they were just waiting on us to get in place so that they could place the sweetheart table in front of us. So for those who may consider a ceremony/reception in the same room, I would suggest definitely giving it some thought. It worked very well for us. And it’s definitely a money saver.

Me peeking around the corner from the bridal changing area.

(Sorry for the blurriness. I told you they were personal photos! LOL!)

The groom getting all pinned up!

Next up: Ceremony pics!!!

Odds and Ends: The Birthday Friday Edition

The contract gig that I was at working ends today. So for the time being I am back to being the unemployed bride. Chin up, commenters..I have an interview on Monday and a meeting with a recruiter as well. If I don’t know how to do anything else, I know how to grind it out on a job search. With that being said, prayers are always welcome!


Since we were talking about flowers earlier this week, one of my dear commenters and future wedding planner extraordinaire Tamara ran across a couple of inspiration boards that use the wedding colors and add in an additional accent color. Take a look see:

(Source: Dessy.com)


(Source: ThePlannerPages.com)

I never even thought of using flowers as accent colors or of an accent color at all. This is why blogging is so great!!  Commenters propose ideas you would have never thought of! Please know it’s appreciated!

Random Ramblings

  • My birthday is Friday. I will be 37 years old. I still cannot believe it. It seems like yesterday I was graduating from college, club hopping and watching Love Jones. Where does the time go??
  • Myron and I currently live in my 2 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom townhouse. I’d said that maybe we should try to stay there until we both turn 40 (!) in order to save some money for the home we buy together. Now I’m not so sure. My place is older and I am dreaming of having a brand new kitchen (to not cook in). I would like to have another bedroom or two as well. He needs a man room in the worst way.
  • Did I mention that while the money is great working contract, that I would really kill, stab and maim for a permanent gig? Funny how your perspective can change once you get engaged/married. While no job is ever really permanent, at least I’d get 2-3 weeks vacation!!
  • I really think I am going to need to get one more professional certification and I really don’t want to go back to school EVER. AGAIN. IN. LIFE.
  • I really would like to work for the government. I’m tired of Corporate America bullshit. If I’m going to have to deal with office politics, at least with the government I have a strong chance of not getting laid off (provided we don’t have another Great Recession again).
  • I really need a new pair of brown peep toe shoes. But I might get skinned alive if another shoe box comes through that door right now. *Hey babe*
  • I’m kinda salty that my folks bullied guilted manipulated talked me into doing something I really didn’t want to do, because we really need to be holding on that money right now. How am I supposed to be a grown up when I can’t stand up for myself?? *headdesk*
  • Speaking of money, my e-fund will be almost empty after we get married. Going to have to really grind to get it back up to a comfortable level. I like having some savings in the bank, it just makes me feel better.
  • Also going to have really look at both of our retirement savings plans. We both have not done a great job of saving for retirement AT ALL. And I have an 401K  from my old job that still needs to be rolled over somewhere.
  • Would be nice to win the lottery. I guess I should play though, huh?
  • I asked my peeps on Twitter but they had ignored me (you know who you are!) so I will ask it here: Where can I get inexpensive chocolate brown pashminas online?
  • One of my commenters (hey Ms. Tamara!) sent me a email with some awesome flower color combinations. I think I might post them up later on.
  • We have 2 cake tastings on Saturday. We meet with the photographer next Tuesday. Yay for progress.
  • We go back to pre-marital class this Thursday (skipped last week cause the other couple couldn’t make it) so I guess I’ll blog week 3 and week 4 in one post. It’s gonna be a lot to cover.
  • I’m hongry. What’s for lunch???
Toss your randomness in the comments.

Odds And Ends: Wedding Checklist

I was mentally running down my wedding checklist and thinking of the things that I’ve gotten done so far. So far we have:
  • selected wedding colors
  • secured a venue and a wedding date
  • ordered and picked up my dress
  • picked bridesmaids/ordered dresses
  • picked groomsmen
  • designed the invitations
  • set up a registry (Target)
  • set up a wedding blog
  • took engagement pictures
The things that have yet to be done include:
  • finish building our wedding website and publish
  • order enagement photobooks for parents
  • reserve hotel room blocks
  • set up registry (Bed, Bath and Beyond)
  • find and book cake vendor
  • book the wedding photographer (I have 2 in mind)
  • set up a meeting with the DJ (gifted to us by a groomsman)
  • help my mom find her dress
  • get my dress altered
  • get tuxes booked for the guys
  • shop for and purchase Myron’s wedding band
  • finalize verbiage and get invitations printed for mail out
  • compile and edit the guest list and get addresses
  • get bridesmaids jewelry
  • get groomsman gifts
  • research honeymoon options
That’s all I could think of offhand. It seems like I’d done a lot but I have so much more to do. Dammit! LOL!!!

On Short Engagements

For those who are new to the blog, Myron and I dated 6 months before we got engaged. We will have been engaged almost 10 months when we actually get married on September 26, 2010. And for me that actually works out great.

I am in favor of the short engagement, no matter what the age but in particular if you are an older bride.

Short engagements make you FOCUS. The condensed time frame helps to filter out a lot of the wedding noise that is out there and doesn’t leave you a lot of time to second guess yourself.

You don’t have a lot of time to get caught up in a ton of wedding p.o.r.n. I had selected my colors, bridesmaids, and dress within two months of being engaged. I didn’t have time to make pretty letters to invite my bridesmaids to be in the wedding party and all that type of crap. I called them up, asked their schedules and asked them would they stand up on my behalf. Simple.

The same thing happened with my dress. Being plus sized, I knew my options were already going to be limited so I didn’t try to look ALL over Houston for dress shops. I went to David’s Bridal, tried on some dresses, picked one that was flattering and that my mama and I liked and was done with that part of it.

I nailed down a venue fairly quickly as well. At the time I wasn’t working so I made good use of my time when I wasn’t looking for a new gig and toured a number of venues. It helped me to narrow down what kind of venue and wedding I could afford pretty fast. I am not going to be DIYing a lot of my wedding decor and that type of stuff typically is time consuming so I think DIY stuff would be better utilized by someone who probably has a longer engagement.

Shorter engagements require one to research and vet your wedding vendor quickly. I have been relying more on word on mouth referrals from people who have already used the vendor as opposed to going to general wedding websites and just picking out vendors randomly.

Probably the best thing about a long engagement is the ability to save more money to pay for the wedding you want, but the that’s also more time to save more money to spend on things that in hindsight you might not even really need.

The absolute best thing about a shorter engagement is that I get to be married to Myron just that faster! 🙂

What say ya’ll about the length of an engagement? How long were you engaged??

Re-Thinking The Wedding Favor

There are some wedding traditions that I quite frankly thought were plain old stupid, i.e. the bouquet toss or just plain wasteful, like printed napkins. I had wedding favors on that list as well. I can’t remember when I’ve taken a favor home from a wedding that was useful or that I could locate in my house 24 hours after the wedding had taken place.
Well, I might be re-thinking that notion. Myron and I went to a wedding reception a week or so ago and got the most creative favor I’d seen in a very long time. The bride and groom had gotten married in Jamaica the week before and their gift to their guests was a jar of jerk seasoning with a recipe for jerk chicken attached! It was so neat!
Myron and I were quite excited because being foodies ourselves and with him being the resident chef, we were eager to try it. The reception was Friday night and we had jerk chicken and rice for Sunday dinner. Turned out pretty good too.
So I am re-thinking having some sort of favor but it would have to be more creative and not so cookie cutter and very inexpensive.
My initial thought is to do a candy bar. It’s pretty trendy right now in the wedding world but can be done pretty cheaply. Several types of penny candy/gum and containers to take it away in. I might go that route…we’ll see..at least it’s a favor that would actually get used.
Thoughts on interesting wedding favors???



Do I, DIY?????

Like most brides on a budget, I am looking for ways to save money but still have a classy and tasteful wedding. In these recessionary times, it seems the trend is to try to DIY (do it yourself) some aspects of your wedding accessories.

I have been to some of the blogs like Budget Savvy Bride (who is an extremely talented graphic designer IRL) or the Buckeye Bride (same profession) and I am highly impressed with the level of creativity with some of the pieces that they have created. The Budget Savvy Bride even has step by step tutorials on her blog, complete with pictures!

I am, however, not that creative.  Nor am I that patient.

I really don’t have a strong desire to DIY my own bridal bouquet or bake cookies as wedding favors. I am not sure what I would do with 4 custom designed monograms and a cake table cover. Yet, some of these things I am going to need for the wedding. Invitations and save the dates are expensive! I have to have wedding programs. I want a bouquet. My bridesmaids can’t walk down the aisle empty handed. So, I feel I need to take on some sort of project to save money. Perhaps I’m just overwhelmed with all the information I’ve been taking in over the last few months.

What do you guys think would be most cost effective? What should I be focusing on in terms of trying to conserve cost on some the ancillary things needed for wedding but will likely only be in use that day or tossed soon after (like invitations to guests)?