Home Training For The Workplace

Do NOT take my goddamn stapler! I love this movie!

So as I mentioned before, I have a new manager. I’m not going to complain (because the only person who listens is my husband and he kinda has to), but let’s just say I’m still adjusting.

My new manager is not very personable and not just with me but with other people too. He has a tendency to just roll up on folks and issuing orders making requests. And one thing I absolutely cannot stand, loathe, hate, AND dislike is for anyone to just come to my desk, without at least saying good morning and just start barking out what they want or need me to do for them. And as such, I have had to institute my workplace home training regimen.

How does it work you say? Well, it’s rather simple. When your uncouth co-worker or manager comes to your desk and just starts talking about work, you interrupt with a big smile and say: “Good morning, uncouth co-worker/manager, how are you?”. They are normally taken aback and realize their rudeness and will respond with a greeting before proceeding on with their request. You may have to do this several times to get said person trained but be patient and you will be rewarded. I have already noticed some changes in my manager, who has realized that saying good morning and making a bit of small talk goes a long way to not being thought of as an ass.

Some other workplace home training methods that I have used is ignoring the person who likes to hang around while you are on the phone trying to conduct business and keeping your back turned to that dumbass who likes to come to your desk and hover and doesn’t have the good sense to get your attention. I can hear them roll up behind me, but I figure if you don’t have the sense enough to alert me to your presence, then you deserve to stand there like an idiot.

I’m a firm believer that interpersonal relationships at the office go a long way to making your work life easier, in particular if your job is dependent on getting information from other people or help from another department. I don’t go to work expecting to be BFFs with my co-workers but being pleasant certainly makes it easier and I believe it makes folks more willing to help you and put your request higher on their priority list.

So what say you fine commenters? Have you had to “train” rude folks at your office??

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11 thoughts on “Home Training For The Workplace

  1. I am not going to lie. I have been the Rudy McRuderton that just comes to the desk to ask for something. I usually include a Hi, but as a Northerner, I was not versed in the need to chit chat when all I have is a quick question. I had to learn, y’all, I had to learn.

    As for training other coworkers, my biggest issue is that I have to tell people to calm the fcuk down (in a professional way, of course) when they think their emergency is my emergency. It is not. And frankly, if you’ve been half stepping, then I’m not going to go above and beyond just because you now need a miracle due to a problem that you created. Ahem.

  2. My office is a haven for the Socially Awkward. Too many things to even try mentioning just one. I’ma have a margherita machine installed in my desk one of these days….

  3. Again, I must confess, I hover. Don’t hate me. It’s the accountant in me. I don’t like to be interrupted, especially if I am working to reconcile some huge azz spreadsheet. So I prefer you to hover and let me get to a good break in train of thought to address you. I also prefer to hover because if I go back to my desk and get involved again, I will forget what I need you for. So I will take the few minutes to let you wrap up whatever, get what I need, and move on with the rest of the stuff on my desk.

  4. “……ignoring the person who likes to hang around while you are on the phone trying to conduct business and keeping your back turned to that dumbass….”

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

    Phone to ear means I’m busy. I’ve used this technique many a time.

  5. Ok. i have to admit….sometimes I am the rude one especially if I come in at 7 and everybody else comes in at 8:30. I just start talking because I’ve been at work so long that I forget its still morning, not that I don’t have home training. Comment interrupted by the computer guy – Just as I’m typing this, he just walked into my office, sat on the corner of my desk and started talking to me!!!

  6. This is hilarious! We have a lot of people who don’t speak when spoken to….For example, you may say good morning. They say NOTHING. So I always say it again and louder and then ask if they are ok.

    • Confession: that non-speaker is me sometimes. I’m really not a morning person and I prefer to get settled first before I start speaking to people. I’ll usually acknowledge you non-verbally (head nod, grunt) but if you need more than that before I can get to my desk and get situated…sorry.

  7. This is great. I have a problem with people just entering my office when the door is closed without knocking. Yes, I know one wall is all windows and you can see that I’m there, but it’s closed for a reason!

  8. When I worked, if someone came into my office and stood there like a fool while I was on the phone, I’d swivel my chair around so said fool could stare at the back of it. People are so ignorant. I don’t miss the workforce at all.

  9. LOVE this post! You hit the nail on the head. I have a co-worker who will walk in my office and say my name repeatedly while I’m on the phone. I have gave her the blank stare one time too many and I think she gets it now. It seems like the art of having manners is out the window. smh.

  10. This made me laugh out loud for real! I come from a long line of women who will school anyone on manners at any time.

    The head librarian busts up in my office on the regular talking about “Where’s so and so?” I just look at her and say “good morning.” Only after she says good morning do I tell her I don’t know! I’ve been on this job since June – only last week did she come in, say good morning and then ask me whatever. She’s slow, but she’s getting there…

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