My parents next door neighbors are from Honduras. They are really sweet, friendly folks. They send my daddy tamales and have helped him fix my brother’s car and my mom sends over my niece and nephews hand me down clothes to their grandkids.
However, one thing my parents Honduran neighbors like to do is party. I mean Beyonce-style partay-ay-ay-ay! They don’t kick it a lot, but apparently Christmas Eve was a good a time as any for a throwdown. My parents said the music went on into the wee hours! My folks got NO sleep. LOL!
I mention all that because Myron and I went to my folks house for Christmas dinner. We pull up in the driveway and get out. I have my purse and gifts in hand and Myron was still behind me at the car, about to get the chitlins (that’s a WHOLE other story there) out. I had just made it into the garage when I hear someone scream, “Ayiiiiii!!!” I then hear “BUMP, BUMP, BUMP”!
I stick my head out of the garage and look across the yard. A friend of the neighbors had taken a nasty tumble between two parked cars in their driveway. All around her are shards of broken Pyrex glass. She laid there dazed and confused.
I drop my stuff and sprinted across the lawn. Ole girl was still lying there on the driveway amongst all that damn glass! Myron got there to her first, so he and the neighbor lady who lived at the home were trying to lift the “victim” off the ground. She kept mumbling something in Spanish and saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” in English. Finally my dad comes outside, sees what’s going on and comes over to help. She was like dead weight but finally they got her up. The neighbor lady slowly escorted our “victim” into the house. We came over to my parents house, came inside and promptly cracked the hell up.
So as a Public Service Announcement to y’all I’d like to share the following tips:
- Nylon knee-highs and yellow flip flops don’t mix.
- Being drunk off your ass while wearing nylon knee-highs and yellow flip flops will probably lead to you busting your tail on the concrete driveway and getting trapped between a Honda Civic and a Honda CRV on Christmas Day.
- It’s probably not a good idea to be carrying a Pyrex baking dish while wearing the aforementioned knee-highs and flip flops and being drunk off your ass….on Christmas Day.
- No more drinking on Christmas Eve.
That was the hilarious start to our Christmas Day dinner. Can ya’ll top that??