A Christmas Day Funny

My parents next door neighbors are from Honduras. They are really sweet, friendly  folks. They send my daddy tamales and have helped him fix my brother’s car and my mom sends over my niece and nephews hand me down clothes to their grandkids.

However, one thing my parents Honduran neighbors like to do is party. I mean Beyonce-style partay-ay-ay-ay! They don’t kick it a lot, but apparently Christmas Eve was a good a time as any for a throwdown. My parents said the music went on into the wee hours! My folks got NO sleep. LOL!

I mention all that because Myron and I went to my folks house for Christmas dinner. We pull up in the driveway and get out. I have my purse and gifts in hand and Myron was still behind me at the car, about to get the chitlins (that’s a WHOLE other story there) out. I had just made it into the garage when I hear someone scream, “Ayiiiiii!!!” I then hear “BUMP, BUMP, BUMP”!

I stick my head out of the garage and look across the yard. A friend of the neighbors had taken a nasty tumble between two parked cars in  their driveway. All around her are shards of broken Pyrex glass. She laid there dazed and confused.

I drop my stuff and sprinted across the lawn. Ole girl was still lying there on the driveway amongst all that damn glass! Myron got there to her first, so he and the neighbor lady who lived at the home were trying to lift the “victim” off the ground.  She kept mumbling something in Spanish and saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” in English. Finally my dad comes outside, sees what’s going on and comes over to help. She was like dead weight but finally they got her up. The neighbor lady slowly escorted our “victim” into the house. We came over to my parents house, came inside and promptly cracked the hell up.

So as a Public Service Announcement to y’all I’d like to share the following tips:

  1. Nylon knee-highs and yellow flip flops don’t mix.
  2. Being drunk off your ass while wearing nylon knee-highs and yellow flip flops will probably lead to you busting your tail on the concrete driveway and getting trapped between a Honda Civic and a Honda CRV on Christmas Day.
  3. It’s probably not a good idea to be carrying a Pyrex baking dish while wearing the aforementioned knee-highs and flip flops and being drunk off your ass….on Christmas Day.
  4. No more drinking on Christmas Eve.

That was the hilarious start to our Christmas Day dinner. Can ya’ll top that??

7 thoughts on “A Christmas Day Funny

  1. Oh my gosh – that was all sorts of hilarious!

  2. DEAD!

    What’s sad is I thought, “I hope Myron didn’t drop the chit’lins”.

  3. nylon knee-highs and yellow flipflops…….bwahahahahahaha

  4. That was funny as hell…as for me- I gotz nothing!

  5. Well babe…..It was more like Ba Bump…..Ayeeeee!!!! Ba Bump……Cling – a – ling – a – ling!!!!

  6. Bwaaaahaha! I bet y’all were like…what the hell!? Ayyyye tell Myron to shoot me that chittlins recipe. I need it for research purposes. The only craziness we had was meeting my cousin for the first time and him jumping in the car to go get daiquiris from the drive through place somewhere in BR. They ask for your license, and the only ID he had on him was his prison ID. That was also my first time learning that he was an ex-con.

  7. I had to cover my mouth to keep from howling at work!! LMAO! I can’t top that but one of our funnies was my one of my cousins ‘medicinal pouches’ coming up missing. It was quite comical as the cousin we all believe took it tried to make us believe she didn’t. She kept screaming ‘I don’t do that anymore’, but was often missing for long periods of time. If she didn’t steal the ‘plants’, we’re convinced she stole something and we’re all just waiting to see who comes up with more missing items. smh

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