To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness. – excerpt from traditional Christian wedding vows
I am married. And I am a wife. But I am very young, in both my role and in my marriage. And though, no marriage is the same as the next one and we make the rules that work for the two of us, I am not too proud to continue to learn and get educated about what marriage is really about.
I mentioned briefly a while back that my mom in law has had some health challenges the latter part of this year. God is faithful and she is slowly recovering. But since I am mainly in a position of obervation, I have really gotten an education about the true meaing of marriage. When I stood up in front of 150 folks and in front of God and said my wedding vows, I meant them. But they were somewhat abstract, in the way simple words tend to be. But throughout this family crisis, I have had the distinct pleasure of seeing marriage vows in action.
My in laws have been married for 39 years. They have 4 children, of which my husband is the oldest.
To watch my father-in-law be there for his wife is truly inspiring. He greets my MIL with a kiss when he walks in the room, he sits for hours holding her hand, he cracks jokes trying to keep her upbeat, he encourages and pushes her with her physical therapy, and is constantly monitoring her and the care that the nurses give her. He’s constantly following up with the doctors and social workers. He sleeps in the pull out chair in her hospital room every night and I’m sure that’s not comfortable. Myron and his brothers had to MAKE him go home to recharge last week. Every action he takes is the epitome of love and respect for the woman he took as his bride so many years ago.
THAT my dear commenters, is a true example of living your wedding vows. Marriage is not always happy times, unicorns, glitter and rainbows. There are difficult times in a marriage, times when jobs are lost, money is tight and people get sick.
There is so much chatter on the internet and amongst people about relationships and what folks are and aren’t going to do when they get married, what they should be doing to get a man or woman, what they bring to the relationship table, what they so-called deserve and how they aren’t going to be thirsty behind this dude or that chick.
But the fact remains until a crisis or trial happens to YOU, you don’t know how your significant other will react.
I hope you will have someone who will stand by you, when shit is good and when shit gets HARD. I hope that you will have someone who will wipe your eyes (or your ass) if necessary, because you can’t do it yourself. I hope you ignore what everyone says, and pick a man or a woman who does not just recite some vows, but actually exemplifies them. Myron and I have some damn fine examples in my in-laws.
I hope you are as lucky as we are.