Today I had lunch with a soror-friend that I had not seen in SEVEN (!) years. (As an aside, don’t be a loser like me and go 7 years without seeing your homegirls!) It was SO good to see my friend, who has done amazing things in career as an attorney. I am so proud of her!!! *squeals like a teenage girl*
In the course of catching up about work, family and all things life related, I asked her was she dating anyone and she mentioned an on- again/off-again relationship that’s permanently off now. And of course, we talked about me getting married and how being single for a long time really gave a me a good, long opportunity to observe other folk’ relationships and marriages to learn what I DID NOT want for mine.
And my soror-friend in her typically blunt fashion said this (paraphrasing here): “I’d rather be alone forever, then marry the wrong dude and be miserable because I see WAY too much of that.” Let the chuuuuch say amen! My soror has always been one gives it to you straight, no chaser.
And of course we all know that, and we all say that. And it got me to thinking, how many women truly MEAN that, without a shadow of a doubt?? For a time, I did not. It was lip service, I was fronting to myself and to others. And it took me quite some time to get my mind wrapped around potentially being unmarried. But when you do get there, it’s liberating. It truly is. And that doesn’t mean you don’t get lonely, because you are still human and that’s to be expected. What it means is that you know that the loneliness will soon pass and there is still much life to be LIVED.
And maybe along the way, you might just fall in love anyway.
(Dee, it was awesome seeing you today! *MUAH*)