I Don’t Even Play Like That

Since I’ve been talking about office foolishness this week on the blog, let me run this scenario by you and get some opinions.

 My cube mate was telling me that she went into her manager’s office yesterday and noticed that her manager was upset and red faced. Well, they start talking and the manager just started boo-hooing! My cube mate got up to close her office door to give her some privacy and asked her what was wrong. Seems that our VP (who can be a yeller) apparently dressed her down about something or other, using some profanity I might add, in the hallway something terrible. And the manager was upset (understandably).

 To me, whether the manager was right or wrong in this case is not relevant to the point of my post. I’ve been working in Corporate America since 1995. I’ve been laid off, I’ve been fired, and worked for some difficult people. I have NEVER EVER been yelled or cursed at like a child by a manager. EVER. And if I ever did, I can almost guarantee that I would probably be SO fired that particular day. Me and my cube mate were discussing that our VP doesn’t even come at us in that manner (we are both black women, if that makes a difference) and we both interact with him closely on a regular basis.

 I think that people need to treat each other professionally in the workplace, even when tensions get high or else they need to step away and get themselves together. Point blank period. Executives don’t get a fucking pass because their paychecks are larger. As far as I’m concerned, the CEO doesn’t even have the right to curse at me.

 I also believe that management knows who they can mess with and who they can’t, kinda like how dogs can sense fear in people. LOL!!

 What say you? How would you have responded in that type of situation?

 P.S. As an added bonus, if you feel the need to release some workplace tension, go here. This is the best thing EVER! Thanks to hubs for showing me this!


24 thoughts on “I Don’t Even Play Like That

  1. THIS!!!! I had something similar happen to me at the place that I was FIRED from in February. My VP yelled at me so loud, the building receptionist said something to me about it. I took myself right to HR about it too. The NEXT day I was fired and I had to establish with the state what the issues were. A b*tch didn’t have but one good time & I swear I was going to be in jail. I’m sorry but you don’t know me enough to talk to me like that today, tomorrow and not any other day.

  2. I’d probably be fired if management cussed and yelled at me. I wouldn’t
    tolerate it period!

    I almost got fired a few years ago over some bs. I said to myself, if I’m gonna get fired today, I might as well say whatever I feel like saying. . .and I did! Shockingly, im stil working for this company.

  3. the hyperlinked web site is crazy…………….LOL

    I can’t begin to imagine how I would handle being in that situation. But it would need to be addressed because if not it would happen again…………….not sure if I’d take the urban route or diplomatic approach

  4. Totally unacceptable. No, that has never happened to me in life. I’d probably ask them Who TF do they think they’re talking to and IMMEDIATELY go to their supervisor and HR with my complaint. I doubt I’d ever say a word to the person again. One of us would have to be transferred.

  5. I would cry if it was over my work performance. I would see a doctor and file a workers comp claim. I would stay off at least 6 months until I got over the stress of that incident.

    I have heard bosses go off on employees, its always confusing.

  6. I work in HR, so they pay me to keep my cool. My first manager out of college called me a “little shit starter.” I laughed when I heard they fired her. I’d like to believe that in my older, more mature age, I’d do what I did on my last job–finish my work, pack up, and leave.

  7. The counselor in me thinks this employee subconsciously reminds the VP of someone he does not like. Could be something as basic as a mannerism, but whatever it is, it sets the VP off. Basic transference.

    That being said, the “who the eff you think you talkin’ to?” in me thinks “who the eff you talkin to?” The first time I had a supervisor talk to me in a manner I thought was inappropriate, I didn’t have the previous experience to draw on, so I got rude right back with him. I lucked out that it turns out he was actually afraid of me and just that whiff of what I MIGHT say chilled him out but I emphasize “lucked” because I easily could’ve been fired that day.

    If it happened to me now, whoever was yelling would be cut off and I’d invite them to seek me out when they had calmed down and/or suggest we move the conversation into HR’s office. I might let you raise your voice a note or two, but a curse word? No options, we’re moving this straight to my reporting you to somebody, because really… who the eff you think you talkin’ to?”

  8. I had one manager who was out of pocket when I first entered the private sector….let me tell you he must have thought that I was some kid or something because of my height when he opened his mouth. But I quickly *with a closed door* let him know that I don’t play that….and he better watch who he is talking too because I am not from Chicago and will seriously set him in his place.

    Girl I wish another mf’er would….I am sorry I had a flash back

  9. i’ve cried at work out of sheer aggravation and frustration, but not in the presence of a manager. I remember once a female manager did a presentation on tactics for never letting people seeing you cry. things like holding your head back so the tears dont fall, etc…
    Anyhow, I truly believe absolute power corrupts absolutely and that is why some managers feel they can treat people like dirt…but i’ve been around long enough to see those managers get theirs…..My mantra is “treat people the way you wish to be treated”, from the CEO all the way down to the janitor.
    Its not about race per se, but i do think people know who they can mess with/who’s gullible/insecure, etc.

  10. I agree, a title does not give ANYONE the right to be disrespectful. I always take a moment to walk away from a situation because I don’t like to say things in the heat of the moment and later regret them. (I can give a tongue lashing like none other) so I am very careful with my words.

    Also, I believe people know who they can say what to without fear of repercussions. And I believe in the cardinal rule of a person will only do as much as you let them.

    Said manager in this story needs to put her grown up panties on and address that situation because her silence is acceptance and you know that VP will have no qualms about doing it again.

    The closest I’ve ever gotten to a situation like that is being called “snotty” in my performance review and let’s just say, at the end of that, I had the COO & HR in a meeting giving THEM an earful about my inappropriate supervisor.

    These days, I know enough employment law to rip a new one on somebody if they wanna tango like that.

  11. What did Ced say, “I wish a motherf**ker would!”

    I have been in corp Amer since 1988 and I would be so damned if a supervisor, manager, CEO President yelled and cursed at me! WDDDA??? I also don’t feel that I haven’t done anything in the workplace to require such antics. But that’s not to say I have never done anything wrong or made anyone upset.

    My current office manager and I are at odds right now, or shall I say I can’t stand her ass! But I don’t forsee any yelling or cursing out. Oh Lord, please don’t let her go there!

  12. I’ve had this happen to me before. Needless to say, chairs were thrown, desk were moved and I was escorted off of the property by Birmingham Police.

  13. I’ve been in several situations like that.. one where my boss had worked in Mexico for 6yrs prior to returning to the states and well he would leave his cup on my table and walk away.. expecting me to refill it for him. He would curse me.. give me his car keys and tell me to get gas for him.. I wouldn’t do it and he wrote me up. I filed a complaint with HR and it actually worked in my favor.. company was going under so she moved my layoff date up and I ended up getting severance for 6 mos instead of me quitting..

    my current situation I see this a lot.. not really cursing but just mean shit being said.. too many damn emotions running wild and it’s going to get real ugly real fast.

  14. Even through the trial sand tribulations of working in the fast food as a high school-er, I’ve never encountered that kind of treatment from a higher-up at work. It’s completely uncalled for, because it’s just not necessary.

    Plus, if that’s the only way to communicate, you should not be in a position that requires such communication skills.

  15. I will NEVER understand why adults feel they can speak to other adults like children. I mean we all grown folks around here.

    I had a partner (who was an ass of the HIGHEST order) at a previous accounting firm call himself trying cuss at me about a mistake HE made. I raised my voice as loud as his and told him I was not his child and he will not speak to me in that tone or use that language. When you get some sensibilities about yourself I will be in my office. I went straight down to the managing partner’s office and replayed the entire scenario to him and my immediate supervisor. Later the offending partner apologized profusely but never spoke to me crazy again.

    Running joke in the office up until the time I left was “when you get some sensibilities about yourself…”

  16. Nope. I’d be jobless that day. I would probably make a smartass remark in a very calm tone, grab my purse and hit the door. I don’t need any job that badly.

  17. So at my site we just got a new exec, he works in a different dept but I have to interact with him a little bit at a daily meeting. Well the first time he was at this meeting he acted a fool & my first thought was “I’m so glad he doesn’t work in my chain of command cause I woulda cursed him out & quit”. Seriously. Folks need to learn that you can disagree but you will not disrespect me or anybody else in the workplace.

  18. I have had one boss curse and holler at me. It was on my first job out of college. She called me in her office for something and just got to screaming and cursing. I politely got up and walked out. She didn’t apologize, but she never did it again.

  19. Dr. B and I had a conversation about this topic last week. Our sister-in-law has a tendency to go off on people. But, she is very careful about who she chooses to go off on. Needless to say she has yet to step to me with that foolishness. I have always said people like that can sense who will put up with that nonsense and who won’t.

  20. I’m with you! You get what you give. Oh, we cursing each other? You getting it back in spades! Everyone knows who to eff with and who not. Respect works both ways.

  21. I worked for an attorney once that got upset at a hearing and called me back at the office on the phone and cursed me out. Previously I had told him NOT to take the case b/c the lady was full of shit. He got to court and opposing counsel has all this evidence showing she was FOS. He has previously gone off on other people but never me. So this particular day, I had just returned from maternity leave and he curse me out on that phone. I hung up and packe dup all my shit and left his key on the counter and left. He calmed down and blew up my phone begging me to come back to work but my pride wouldn’t let me. It’s funny over the years he’s called me and asked if I wanted to come back and he’d pay more than my current job but never. I can laugh now but that day, not so much.

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