The Clueless and The Socially Awkward

Please give him his stapler back!

I’ve been very busy the last few weeks at my plantation, working on a large project that requires that I work with another individual on my team to get historical financial data loaded from one system into another system.

Have you ever worked with a person who was clearly over their head?? That’s the dude I’m working with. My boss can’t stand him. (And it’s probably not the most professional thing to be venting to me about him, but I think she’s just fed up!)  She would like to get rid of him (meaning re-assign him somewhere else in the company) but it’s not totally up to her. The VP brought him in because he was unstaffed and not on a commercial project. I can send a very detailed email with clear instructions of what he needs to do and he still has a ton of questions. After I re-explain the contents of the email that I just sent, he then proceeds to detail his entire work activities for the day. 

My eyes glaze over. I don’t care. My job is to get you what you need so you can get the VP what he needs. Now go away. He does my boss like that too. She says he’s driving her to drink. I asked could share her flask. *sigh*

Coupled with that ineptness is  the fact that dude has no social skills at all. One thing I can’t stand is for someone to walk up behind me in my cube and not announce themselves. Dude has done that on several occasions and scared the crap out of me. I have no idea why anyone would just walk up in someone’s work area and just stand there silently like a deaf mute. If I am deep in a spreadsheet concentrating and crunching some data, I will NOT hear you. Dammit, say something! It’s gotta to the point where I’d had to tell him repeatedly that he needs to get my attention before he gets an elbow to the ribs. I wasn’t smiling when I said it, so I think he’s finally gotten the point. :-/ He’s also one of those types that doesn’t realize when the office small talk is over, that you shouldn’t hover around, but take it back to your desk and do some work.

But I figure this is a test of my own admittedly short patience, so I take a deep breath, suck it up  and drown my sorrows in a couple of margaritas after work as I vent to my husband.

What’s your office environment like? How do you deal with the office idiots??

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29 thoughts on “The Clueless and The Socially Awkward

  1. Pingback: Odds And Ends: The TIH is T-I-R-E-D Edition « No longer unemployed, no longer a bride…

  2. OUM is my obvious office annoyance….but there are more.

    – the lady who always runs (literally) from her cube to her boss’s office for no real reason
    – the lady who holds normal (non-private) conversations in an excited whisper……….
    – the chick who is always on the phone arguing with someone about an overdraft charge on her bank account
    – the dude who knocks on the window of my cube every time he walks by, but just keeps walking so when i turn around nobody’s there – obviously I no longer turn around
    – Seal
    – the guy who sees me coming and hides so he can jump out and scare me – seriously who does that? He’s in his late 30s, too. I’ve asked him plenty of times to please stop making my heart stop, even explained that as a single woman who lives alone it’s just not funny to be scared in that manner…not that it ever is, but I hoped that would get the point across!
    – the chick who acts like eeyore and never shuts the f up
    – the gross dude who picks at his peely skin while talking to you about everything in the world you don’t care about

    As you can probably tell I could go on forever.

  3. I have an incessant whiner…and I have NEVER been one to cuddle grown adults so it’s hard. I told him to go home today because I couldn’t take the whining. I said it with a nasty tone and rolling my eyes so I am sure He will whine to HR about me. But…icant.

    I told someone I would gut them like a fish if they ever scared me again by standing behind me and not saying anything.

    Guess I am not the most pleasant office mate….

  4. i’ve been at my job for years but my work persona is sorta kinda rude. also i’m the only accountant fiscal person in my area…the rest are bubbly extroverts and they know how much they annoy me. so, i just tell them not to talk to me right now, quit standing over my shoulder, or stop whatever it is that’s getting on my nerves, lol.

    at least old boy doesn’t stink, does he?

  5. We have a lab assistant here who I believe has Asperger’s. She has ZERO ability to recognize any social clues and talks too much. She is one of those people who responds to a friendly hey, how are you (When the person clearly doesn’t care how you are) with a twenty minute conversation about how she really is. And instead of politely saying it’s a tough day but I am hanging in there she says stuff like my dad is in the hospital, I was up crying all night and I’d really like to blow my brains out. And this is just to a passing associate or the Dean, not someone she works with closely.

    Poor girl is just so out of place around here and silly sensitive me has tried to assist her but I just end up annoyed more often than not.

  6. Oh lawd. I guess I am autistic then. LOL. I do the stand in the door thing too. I like to give the person time to “finish that thought” before I just bust in and start talking. And I love my new work environment. I have returned to the job that moved me to Houston and I am amongst friends. My “boss” sits in a fishbowl office and I sit right in front of him. To get his attention, I will just tap on the window or make goofy faces when I am getting frustrated and ready to cut somebody on my side of the wall. We have fun, so glad I came back.

    • @Cbean: You are not autistic! But you also don’t stand there like a mute and the person doesn’t even realize you are there!!! LOL!!! I am so happy you like your new (old) job!

      • Okay. Cool. So I won’t need any more medication. The stuff I take for this tick gives me a rash. ROFL.

        But I am so glad God blessed me with the redo.

  7. my boss does the “stand in your cube unannounced thing” and I hate that with a passion! Like dude say something!

    My work environment is kind of a free for all. We have cubes and we pretty much work independently which is something i love about this place.

    What I don’t love is that I work with a bunch of broads. Out of the 18 people who work here, 3 of them are male. There are just way too many vagina’s in this place ( sorry it’s true lol) and not only that, i’m the only black person! just all types of UGH!

  8. at my office they have to deal with me, so I guess that’s the same thing only for them, no?

  9. I work with kids with different learning styles/special ed and I am thinking this coworker might be better processing verbal instructions.

    I am great with reading stuff and verbalizing my own thoughts but I sometimes need to repeat stuff I hear to process. Fortunately my method works well at jury because I make sure folks break stuff down. Judges probably get annoyed because I pause, ponder, repeat then answer.

    I would figure out how he processes information and then use that method. That will save you time. I am guessing he is competent since he is still employed or maybe he is someone’s relative? If he is related to someone then I’d go back to modifying for him.

    Maybe he has asperger which is in the autism family.

  10. This scenario sounds like people that i do work with and who I have worked with. My suggestion to the boss was to get the one who just happens up on you a freaking cow bell. Socially awkward doesn’t get a chance with me. Once I see you, I am out of sight! I don’t have time for that or the patience.

  11. Not too many idiots, but there is an ample supply of annoying. Like the guy who slurrrrppsss every sip of his coffee. I look around to see if anyone else finds it odd and aggravating that slurping is audible from across the room. Who knows, maybe I’m the idiot.
    I daydream of yanking the always dying battery out of my laptop and wacking him on the back of the head to make it stop.

    Whew. I feel better now. Thx for letting me rant 🙂

  12. The IT guy at my last job was the worst for not knowing when office small talk was over. It was obvious that he was lonely in his office separated from the rest of us (who sat damn near on top of each other, so it was an all day thing) and so when he got a chance to talk he would NOT shut up.

    And don’t let him hear you say something from his desk. He’d be in your business faster than you could say “get the hell away from me…” We would all send emails to each other while he talked to us about how irritating he was. We stopped when we learned that when you leave the office, he archives all your email (and most likely reads it). Amen for gchat.

  13. Office idiots? Oh, we gots a PLENTY over here!!

    Just yesterday we conducted a fourth meeting with one of the top three idiots, Ms. Dummy McDumbnuts, about the exact same thing the previous three were about. During one of our team meetings our boss asked us if we felt like we knew what she was doing. He received a resounding ‘NO’! Well from all but one of us who doesn’t do sh*t and wouldn’t know sh*t if it hit her in the face. Yeah, she’s another idiot but I digress.

    Dummy McDumbnuts doesn’t retain information and just doesn’t get anything or TRY to get anything. A lot of her problem is due lack of effort. Each time we had the meetings with her, I would reiterate that she read the project material so that she would gain a better understanding of the processes. I never asked if she had until yesterday. Even though I knew she hadn’t, I just wanted to hear her say it. To hear her direct reports talk about her is even more hilarious. I could go on and on.

  14. My office is a small one (size and # of employees) so I get to be myself a lot which is fine by me. I do have one colleague though who I’ve just had to conclude lives on another galaxy based on our interactions and observing him with other people. We just speak totally different languages and I don’t know if there’s any solution…LOL.

    I think it’s hilarious that you and your boss are commiserating over this.

  15. Sounds like he’s autistic…

  16. It is pretty cool at my gig. I don’t have much human interaction as far as my job duties go. I answer most questions by email with maybe three phone calls a week. I am currently in the office by myself and keep my headphones on most of the time.

  17. You mean like the girl who took my phone yesterday and sent my husband “sexy” texts from “me?” I still haven’t figured out how the hell to deal with her. Any suggestions?????

    • I take it you didn’t clock her upside her dome? What the world? Who does that? Why does she think that’s ok? Do you work in an office or cube? She needs to be put on the ‘No Entry’ list like the TSA’s ‘No Fly’ list.

    • I’m sorry what? She would have been reported (and cussed the phuck out).

    • Speak to your manager or HR about it and have that info in your file also let them talk to her about it. Chick sounds crazy and bold as hell esp. because it has your hubby involved – that is messing with fam and that is a no-no. Sounds like a real loose cannon and my goal would be to make sure that she understood that getting loose again with me would be a fail.

    • I think a swift punch to the face is in order. Ok fine. I know folks need their jobs in this recession, but goodness gracious.

      WDDDA??? I think I’m more mad about this than I should be… But really! Who does that??

    • first you get a sock, then you get a lock, then you slip the sock through the lock and ask her to come outside so the two of you can have a talk…..

    • truthfully what you do is go to HR and have them fire her for sexual harrassment. this is not normal behavior and is unacceptable and action must be taken by your employer if she did this while on the clock at the work place. This is not a joke and a person who does this is disturbed and capable of anything.

  18. Oh, the office idiots…..I’ll refrain from blogging in your comments but there’s the slob, the ghetto girl, Chicken Little, Granny, Bible Thumper…..chile, you know what? I’m gonna end up blogging about them.

    I’m dying over here with you asking to share the flask! Lol

    How I deal? Music & headphones.

    Next time homeboy walks into your cube and doesn’t announce himself, throw that ‘bow. He’ll get the message.

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