Odds And Ends: The Pimping Ain’t Easy Edition

  • Green for the money, gold for the honeys!!!!!!!!!

    I was at lunch eating some delicious Thai food yesterday after my new employee orientation with the junior accountant that I will be indirectly managing. She’s 32 and single, very pretty and vivacious.  She mentioned that she had been working some longer hours at her old job and now in her new role at my plantation, she would be able to have more work life balance and be able to try to meet people and date more. She then asked if I knew any single men I could introduce her to?? I was caught a bit off guard, but I said I would see what I could do.  By the same token my blogger and twitter/FB friend Serenity23, was saying on twitter this morning how a former co-worker called her and left a message telling her than she happened to show a picture of Serenity to a young man from her church and that he had asked to meet her. Serenity was none too pleased about this, however.  So this got me to thinking to ask my single commenters, do you mind your friends (single or married) attempting to hook you up with or without your knowledge?? Would you ask people in your circle for introductions??


 On a totally different note, I’m going to take a few sentences to vent about how I got lightweight offended last week at the same department luncheon I referenced in yesterday’s post. I’m chatting it up with co-workers and the same junior accountant asks me if I was a newlywed, I said yes and that I got married last September when I was 37 years old. Another co-worker, who’s own daughter had just celebrated her 1 year anniversary, looked at me and was like: “Wow, really???”. I replied with much pride: “Yes, I was 37 and he was worth the wait!”.  Look ya’ll, I fully realize I got married later than the statistical averages, but damn I’m NOT an effing unicorn!! I know several couples within the last couple of years who got married where one or the other spouse was older than the norm. I have a friend  right now who is engaged and just turned 35. That rubbed me the wrong way, no doubt. Some folks that want to be married, never have that happen for them so I actually feel rather fortunate. Just another case of open mouth, insert foot I guess.  Thoughts??? Was I all up in my feelings??


33 thoughts on “Odds And Ends: The Pimping Ain’t Easy Edition

  1. I didn’t mind hookups when I was single – although it was never my friends who tried to hook me up. It was my white co-workers! I was often the only black female programmer and if another black male contractor came along they always tried to hook me up LOL.

    I agree with a couple other people. You mentioned your age specifically so I don’t think you should have been disturbed by her reaction.

  2. It would be nice to give the woman who made the comments the benefit of the doubt and assume it was said because you look younger than 37 (and you do ), but in reality the chick was probably just stupid and not worth a second thought or moments anger.

  3. Oh and no you SHOULD have felt some kinda way. #PeopleAreStupid

  4. Firstly, the picture has me slayed in the spirit!

    Secondly, it wouldnt bother me too much if my friends (people who know and love me)were trying to hook me up. If I am single, I would be dating like a dude anyway so bring them on!

  5. I need new friends so I mind being hook up lol no but really I only had that happen one time and It bother me moreso because they assume before asking me.

    As far as being in your feeling nope you were not wrong, alot of people wanna be married to the thought of being married and not married to be in LOVE.

  6. If one of my friends tried to hook me up without telling me, that may end out friendship -or at the very least, scale you back a couple levels. That’s not cute to me, as I hate surprises.

    I’m not sure how I feel about the marriage comment. It can be a surprise to some people, but they really should be used to it by now, as the age for marriage has been going steadily upward.

  7. This post really resonanted with me, hence this too long comment.
    I prefer not to be hooked up without my knowledge. There is a short list of family and friends who can hook me up. I think I’d be a hard person to hook up. *shrugs*

    If there is a person I have my eye one and I know someone close to him, I may ask for an introduction.

    You can’t really plan a hook up, you have to feel that someone is right for someone. I hooked two friends up-it just dawned on me they would be good together. They stayed together for 2 years (hey I just hooked ’em, I can’t marry ’em) and they can stand to be in the same room.

    Hmmmm you were up in your feelings…a little. I think the co-worker may have just assumed you had been married for longer than you have, so when she found out you were a newlywed, she was surprised. That’s a little different from assuming no one over a certain age gets married or if they do they are very rare. I think “wow, really” is a pretty generic comment. It’s a comment that I would make in response to finding out anyone was a newlywed regardless of their age. Now if the co-worker had said something like “what took you so long” or “you waited for that ring huh” or something to that effect I would have been irritated. But I wasn’t there to get her facial expressions or voice.

    In S23’s situation, if the friend showed her picture on purpose, the friend was dead wrong!!

    Every week Essence features a Black wedding and more often than not, the couple is over 30….I haven’t taken an official count of each wedding but this is something I’ve noticed.

    I agree with Babs and dmc. By volunteering the age when you got married when it isn’t particularly relevant (in that scenario, I don’t think it was) it could make it seem like it was an issue with you. And if this coworker was of the paler persuasion, she may have assumed you were younger. (They always think black people are younger than we are, at least in my experience).

    I used to try to set my friends up if I came across someone I thought they’d like. But with me being single like they were, I found that they interpreted my efforts as “if you didn’t want him, there must be something wrong with him” If I were married I would be working like OFP to hook my single friends up.

  8. Well, I just turned 39 and am still trying to be married and have a family. So um, Friends… PLEASE do send eligible bachelors…who are serious about wanting to be married eventually, don’t want to play games, and are also open-minded enough to realize this introduction isn’t because I’m desperate…my way! 😉

    • Oh yeah… I didn’t see the problem with your co-workers comment regarding your age when you got married. I would agree with SingLikeSassy below that she may have been surprised that you’re 37, thinking you were younger… *shruggeth*

  9. I used to HATE hookups, but lately, I’m more flattered that people keep me in mind. I don’t think I would appreciate someone trying to hook me up without my knowledge. Overall, I attempt to be open minded re: hookups, even though it’s not my favorite thing…but neither is dating, so….

  10. When people attach an age to a fact I tend to exclaim something to show I am impressed. Its not that I am impressed or wowed its that I think that is what they want.

    Since they were sitting there looking at you, they probably have an idea of your age so your telling them how old you were seems like its asking for something.

  11. I could see it if you were 60, but as long as you can still make babies what’s the big deal. I got married at 35… when you marry older you stay married (usually). I don’t get offended at all. I just be like “YEP…I was 35 (BIG SMILE).”

  12. Nope, you weren’t all up in your feelings. I will be 37 or 38 by the time I get married. I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to picture someone in their late 30s getting married, when they’ll accept that same person having a baby. Weird!

  13. I don’t mind being hooked up. I know I am good people and folks like to pair good folks up. If I’m not feeling the guy I can be polite about it (assuming he ain’t crazy).

    • On the other, she could have been surprised at your age and not that you got married at 37. You look young.

    • I don’t mind a hook up as long as I have the right, without a side-eye, to bow out at my discretion…My cousin hooked me up with her old professor because he always talked about going out and doing things. But he left out the part about wanting women to chase after him. I don’t do chasin! I told my cousin and she was like, Next!

  14. I like Crazy’s idea which seems to be a win-win for everyone involved without anyone ‘all in their feelings’ lol but I would be open for a hook up backed by true friends who knew what I liked & know not to send foolery my way!

    I don’t think you were all in your feelings but the comment was inappropriate but I see Musings on Motherhood view also…

  15. I’m always checking for my BFF. As a matter of fact, so is my hubby and his friends, LOL! She doesn’t mind and she’s pretty open minded. I know what she doesn’t want so I filter hubby’s suggestions.

    On the ‘late’ marriage thing. You know I was kissing 40 when I got married. I haven’t had anyone comment because most folks don’t know my age.So I also wonder why you mentioned your age. I only mention my age when talking to someone that thinks she’s running out of time.

    • Hey I’m kissing 40 and lovin it! Never been married, though I would love to be. However I’m not ashamed of it. When Mr. Right comes, I’ll be right here!

  16. Depends on who’s trying to hook me up, but I would not be opposed. I read somewhere that people should let their friends know that they would like to date and to ask if they had any friends they could introduce them to. I guess it’s not a bad move.

    The only way I think you are being a little “extra” is that I don’t understand why you felt the need to tell the person that you got married last year when you were 37. Why do you need to include your age? That struck me as odd.

    I’m more prone to shock when I hear someone gets married really young, not really old. And 37 BTW is not even old so there should be no reason for shock.

  17. I don’t mind being hooked up. Well, there is one soror who had her hookup card REVOKED!!!!! Long story. LOL.

    And no, I would have given the commenter the fuzzy eyebrow too. LOL.

  18. I recently just asked my good friend to hook me up. I generally don’t have a problem meeting men (I’m like a man magnet I swear), I think this particular friend knows me well & would make a good match for me, so I asked him to find me a guy. Let’s see what he comes up with.

    I think it was a combo of you being up in your feelings & also the person making the comment being a jerk.

  19. I am always on the look out to hook-up my single friends. I will walk over to a complete stranger and introduce myself and ask him would he like to meet my friend. LMAO!! Everytime I meet a single guy at work or in a business setting, I am always sizing him up to see which one of my friends I want to introduce him to. Yeah I know that some women hate this. Too bad, it’s what I do. 🙂

    When I got married at 30 (21 years ago) alot of people thought that was late. But even then women were starting to move to a later age before marriage, intentional or otherwise. What tics me off is when folks act like it’s some new cosmic occurence. The trend has been moving this way for years.

  20. I don’t mind the hook up if done by certain people. But I’m more inclined to just let the match-maker put us in the same place and see if we find each other.

    As for the late marriage comment, you were well within your rights to knit your brow. People mostly don’t think when they speak if they are comfortable with you.

  21. No, I do not like to be hooked up without prior knowledge. I’m not a charity case. Speak with me first to see if I’m even interested. I need to be briefed. LOL!

    No, you were not up in your feelings about the marriage thing. I would have felt the same way.

  22. Sounds like the chick was just stupid. I probably would have felt some kinda way too!

  23. As far as the hookup goes I think you should give the other person an easy out. Someone asks me “Crazy what’s up with your boy, Is he seeing anyone?” I’ll say “I am not for sure I will check and see” . That way if he isn’t interested I can just say he is seeing someone right now and no one has to get their feelings hurt.

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