While perusing my Google Reader this morning, I came across this spirited post by Mocha Peach. And I have to say I agree with her to some extent, because when I was single, the last thing I wanted to hear from a married woman were some of the things she lists in her blog post. Public offender number #1 was this one:
You know something, I think I may have to just cut my married friends off for a while. I know they THINK they mean well. But in reality, you are doing more harm than good. So, in the meantime, if you want to converse with us, and we want to vent on our relationships or dating, please refrain from using the following phrases:
“Oh Lord..see..this is why I am glad I am not single anymore! All that foolishness you are going through” (So you lightweight gloating in the fact that you are single aint helping either, b*tch)
And while I’m not going to be anyone’s bitch, I was a long time singleton and thus feel her pain. She goes on to list other things that married folks say to singles that may be misconstrued as insensitive. I have been extremely reluctant to voice my opinions on the state of singledom for my friends (and on this blog too cause I had a lil drama when I did), for one because I haven’t been married very long and I’m not the marriage whisperer and two, because I don’t want to be on the receiving end of someone snapping my head off because some dude has pissed them off on that particular day.
Yet, I have a few friends who ask my opinions about a guy they may be dating. So what’s a married chick to do????
I try to do the best I can, remind them that every dating situation is different, and I’m not an expert on marriage just because I was blessed to get married. What works in my relationship, may not work for them in theirs. I try to use examples from my own dating life that worked and some that didn’t. In short, I try to be authentic without being trite and condescending. I hope that it’s working.
And then, I shut the eff up.