Charli over Man, Wife, and Dog turned me on a blog based on the book of the same name called Spousonomics. I’ve been reading some of the archives and came across this post. It was a response to a reader’s question about the value of specific tasks that spouses tend to do.
The reader’s question went as follows:
How do you weigh the value of physical chores — such as laundry folding and snow shoveling — vs. psychological chores — such as planning the college application process and keeping teenagers on task for school? As the one with the psychological list, I find it is never done — and so I am never free to relax. And frequently annoyed with my partner when he is “done” with his physical tasks.
Now, I kinda thought said reader was being a tad bit extra, but it did get me to thinking about the division of labor in our house. I take charge of a lot of the “psychological tasks” – I pay the bills, deal with medical stuff, deal with the taxes, nag my husband to call his mama – stuff like that. That’s just how my mind works, my husband didn’t want to deal with it and I am better at it so I took it on. I also do much of the other housework like vaccuming, bathroom clean up and general tidying.
My husband handles what would be called a more “physical task” in that he handles about 95% of the cooking and a good portion of kitchen clean-up. He washes his own clothes, deals with the car/automotive stuff, handles trash collectioon and tidies up his room (the second bedroom has morphed into a man room). Well, we are still debating on how tidy the man room is, but I digress….LMAO!!! My point is, the stuff he’s better at, he’s pretty much taken over.
One thing that I am finally learning that as the wife that I was putting too much pressure on myself about the housework. I am fairly clean but I am not a domestic goddess. I am not my mama, and I don’t have to be. We aren’t living hoarder-style up in here but occasionally dishes are left in the sink over night. My husband had to help me to realize that if he wasn’t tripping about how the house looked, then I didn’t need to either. The housework woud get done bit by bit and as long as we don’t see roaches and rats moving in with tiny lil suitcases, then it was all good. When we do have folks over, he pitches in to help me get the house company ready. So slowly but surely I’m learning to relax. And I am definitely adamant about getting some cleaning folks up in the crib. I am NOT going to spend my Saturdays cleaning while some Ohio Players is playing in the background like my daddy used to make us do when I was a kid!
Married folks, single folks and everyone in between, how are you handling the division on labor in your house? Not just chores but the psychological stuff too?? What tasks/chores have you decided to outsource?