Break Time

When I say I have not been inspired to post, I am not kidding. I really don’t have much to talk about as of late. But I did have a few things rolling about in my mind and decided I’d put this little tidbit out for public consumption.

 Most of you know that I am active with my sorority. And I really enjoy it despite having to deal with lots of estrogen from a bunch of women. I have held various offices and been on several committees within my chapter but 2 years ago I was asked wooed begged to join my chapter’s non-profit foundation and sit on its board. Primarily, the board is responsible for giving out scholarships and providing grants for community programming. In addition to joining the board as a director, I was asked to serve as Treasurer. It’s a job that I have enjoyed doing for the last 2 years. But now, I want a break. I am tired.

 I am married now and I want to try to start a family without the added responsibilities of having to serve as Board Treasurer. I told the Board Chairman this last week and I don’t think he really believed me. He said he would recruit an assistant treasurer to help me out and asked me to think more about it.

 I have. I don’t want to do it anymore. I have one year left on my term as Director which I will gladly serve out but other than showing up to Board meetings and selling some dance tickets, I’m done.

 And I guess that’s what annoys me the most about being a member of a organization as a active working member, 20% of the people do 80% of the work. It’s always been like that for me, because I am by nature a joiner. And I LIKE participating in community service. But why don’t folks realize that the worker bees get worn out and need a break. I have been financial and active in organizations (both professional and the sorority) for the last 15 years. I think that I deserve a little down time  and to not have a guilt trip laid upon me (you know how folks do). Still, I can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt. But I don’t think I’m wrong. Do you??

 Have you had to take a hiatus from an organization or group you have been a member of???


11 thoughts on “Break Time

  1. Petite Pearl said a mouthful!
    I wanted to take a break because of the unfair division of labor (amongst other things) and spend some time as wife and mommy.

  2. You are not wrong! EVERY organization will bleed you dry if you let them..that’s why when you have enough, make it enough. I led our AAF chapter at work and last year I told them 12/31 is it. Those busta’s didn’t believe me…said I COULDN’T stop. Ya know I stopped. It wasn’t fun to me anymore and I was the naysayer in the meetings and that was when I said No mas!

    Now I just attend events with a smile on my face…although I still take pictures (but am working on that too!)

  3. Of course you aren’t doing anything wrong, Tiffany. Organizations will push and push and push until you get burned out (family can do the same thing lol). The only thing I can tell you is to put your self first and don’t worry about ‘nuthin! You’re married and trying to have kids now. I wish I WOULD feel some guilt about taking a break from ANYthing I don’t want to do. Girl please. DO YOU with a smile on your face and not a care in the world!

  4. Your husband,you and your family are your first resposibility. THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE AND THE END.

    All those who don’t understand, need to buy a clue. Actually they DO get it they’re just trying to pretend that they don’t.

    I volunteer as an Adult literacy tutor. As soon as they found out that a few of us are Engineers and Accountants…why are we now ALSO tutoring math, the GED math, basic algebra, etc….. I’ve finally taken a break to work on my own volunteer fund. I didn’t tell Association I just didn’t let them assign another student to me.

  5. No, you are not wrong. Take that time and energy and shift it to building your own family. You feel guilty because you are loyal, genuinely good hearted and you want to help, but you need this time for your NEW family. Don’t let them guilt trip you. If they don’t understand your reasoning, too bad. Not your problem. You’ve paid your dues. Even if they promise you the moon and the stars, stick to your guns!!! Divorces happen behind ish like this.

  6. It’s a hard lesson to learn for those of us who are worker bees, TIH. But once I finally learned to say no, mean it, and stick to my decision…. That was my first step to not feeling guilty about it. Plus, this gives other people a chance to step up and help out…even if they are volunteered for the task.

  7. When I joined my church I made the mistake of telling someone my line of work. Before I knew it, I was on a committee doing the same thing for the church. I did it for a while but started to burn out as things got intense at my 9 to 5 and I couldn’t bare to think about work when I was away from the office. I hate to admit it, but I just stopped showing up for meetings. If they asked me to do something I’d complete the task and communicate it electronically, but that was it. After a while, they just stopped sending me meeting notices.

  8. Heck no you’re not wrong for wanting to take a break. About 3 years ago, I took a break from a LOT of stuff and people kept trying to get me to stay on. I emphatically said ‘NO’ with no explanantion. I’m going to take a break from being a committee chair with my college alumni assn once we have elections this year. We have many new recent grads who need to start working and they can have my position.

  9. You need your own time. That’s all. No more discussion needed. Someone was doing it before you. Someone will do it after you.

    You are in a different season, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    I had to cut out on my daughters’ Gifted Parents…thingy.

    They had all these great ideas, and when I was president, I’d come to the meeting all prepared with xyz and they’d be like…Oh we weren’t quite ready for that yet! 0_o?
    Well why did you bring it up then?

  10. I know how you feel. I have a 6 month old baby so I had to dial it back. As I’ve always said… AKA doesn’t pay my bills nor will it get me into heaven. Therefore I must prioritize it appropriately. My family will always come first and sometimes you just need more time to focus on family.

  11. You’re not wrong to want a break. We can’t be “on” all the time are we will burn out. You work a full time job and now have a family so getting some “you and husband” time is necessary.

    I volunteered with two organizations here in DC. I stopped volunteering at the animal shelter because of work travel and my master’s program. I needed those weekends to study and have some me time. Now that I haven’t traveled and finished the Master’s a year ago I think I’ve just gotten lazy and love having my weekends to myself after a hard work week.

    As for the other organization I got tired of the 20/80 rule and how late people were to meetings or events. I cannot stand habitual tardiness.

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