Myron and I visited a close friend yesterday to see her and her 3 month old twin boys. They are gorgeous, robust babies with healthy lungs..LOL!!! My husband did quite an admirable job putting one of the twins to sleep, until he woke up and had to go back to his mom to be consoled. Turns out he needed a diaper change. 🙂
My friend was mentioning that she and her husband had the twins on a schedule of eating and sleeping in order to make their lives a bit more manageable, at least as much as possible with newborn twins and a toddler who is 2.5 years old. My friend has a pretty high powered job and plans to go back to work in April of this year. She plans to use the nanny that she currently has for her toddler girl to watch the boys when her toddler goes to more structured day care in the summer time. She is strong proponent of having an in-home nanny for at least the first few years of a child’s as opposed to day care. Of course she can also afford it.
What are your thoughts about nannies? Would your opinion make a difference if I told you that my friend also has her elderly father living with her who requires constant care? If you could afford a nanny vs day care would you??
No longer unemployed, no longer a bride... 
I’m cool with having a nanny. My mom watches our son now, so there’s no need. But, if there were, I would entertain the idea of a nanny if we could afford one.
Having a Nanny isn’t my thing. I did daycare with my kids when I had to and when I was able to stay home with them they came out.
Unless the nanny lives with the family and cares for the child(ren) 24/7, then it is the same to me as traditional daycare. Daycare or nanny, your kid is spending more hours with some one other than you. Someone else may see your kid’s first steps, teach her to use the potty, comfort her when she’s upset, etc.
In my mind, it’s a matter of cost and individual attention given to the child. My daughter was in daycare from 5 months old to about 15 months. Otherwise, she’s been home with me.
I would not favor a nanny over daycare, b/c I’d want my child to have more socialization. I wouldn’t choose in home nanny, b/c I don’t want another woman in my house like that.
We use a nanny. I don’t think my babies should have to get up early, get dressed, and commute.
I live in a nanny and SAHM neighborhood. The same 15 or so kids are at the park everyday with their moms/nannies.
Once I got the nanny my daughter’s social life blossomed. The nannies know each other and they organize play dates, birth day parties, library visits and other outings. I have met other parents through the kids and the nannies.
My kids love the nanny but I think that is a good thing. I prefer them to love and be comfy with any caregiver they might have.
If I could find a good nanny, heck yeah, I would use one.
I used a home daycare and my child was a lot of times was the only one. My older three all went to daycare. The older two got chicken pox at 5 and passed it on to me at 24 and their 6mth old sister who passed it around her daycare. Thats the worse. However, my youngest who is now 16 missed days religously from daycare and school. She has allergies,eczema and migraines. I personally would have preferred to stay home and do a 2 0r 3 day program. Socialization is important as well. I guess I, would prefer limited day care.
I had a nanny for a while, and my kids loved her. BUT.
Nannies are difficult. If you get a good one who will love your kids, they (kids and/or nanny) can get a little too attached and start to intrude on the parent-child relationship. It’s a very delicate balance, and when I mentioned to a therapist friend that we would need to let the nanny go because of this, he was not at all surprised.
Both of my kids have had both the nanny situation and a group day care/preschool situation. The preschool we chose is a full-time day care/preschool and it’s quite excellent, but I have to say that having been in both situations, I much prefer the preschool situation to the nanny because I have a lot more control of the situation as a parent, and there is no confusion about whose rules they follow.
That said, we still get together with our former nanny for play dates regularly because they (and I) love her so.
If I could afford it yes I would have had a nanny for my 2 children. I was fortunate that my great aunt was able to take care of my daughter until she was 2 and went to preschool.. she took care of my son for about year but with her health ailing she couldn’t handle him much after he was 10 mos.. I then relocated and did my research on daycares in my new area.. it was harder on me than my son.. by then my daughter was already in school and only went to the daycare for after-school until I picked them up.
Honey, I’d have a nanny for my 15 year old if I could afford one. I’d DEFINITELY have one for my child before the age of 2. After that, I’d send him/her to day care so they could be around other kids… but I’d have a part time nanny until my child was 18 if I could afford it.
I have ONE child b/c I realized (after I had him) that having a nanny is a must. I could never afford a nanny, so I stopped at one kid. Real talk!
Nanny shares are pretty popular here. I’d look into those if I had small kids and wasn’t staying home. I’d appreciate it for the socialization (in small doses) that it provides. If I had more than one child, I’d probably just want a nanny outright, instead of a share. Even when they’re older, I’d love to be able to have a nanny or trusted teenager be with my kids after school if I work longer days than a school day.
Since I don’t have kids and don’t plan on having any I can only comment based on a couple I used to socialize with. Very well off financially and the kids had a nanny from birth. They are now 5 and 8. Both had little interaction with other kids. They are beautiful, smart and charming children, but the first year of school for the boy was a challenge because he was used to so much one-on-one time and he never really had to share or compete for attention. He’s since adjusted but his socialization skills in a group setting were a challenge for his parents and teachers.
If I had to choose b/t daycare or nanny I would choose nanny. I went to daycare and stayed sick b/c of all the germs. I would eventually send my child to daycare but I would want the nanny maybe for the first 2 years.
No nanny for me. I have an issue with people being in my house – I can’t see having a maid either.
To briefly address the germs thing – children have to get sick at some point in time. There is no way you’re going to get around having a sick child unless you never expose them to other children. You’d have to homeschool them in a bubble to avoid all communicable diseases.
I think I would prefer a nanny over daycare because of the benefits of individual attention, but at the same time, seeing my best friend nanny a little girl, I think I could get jealous of the relationship…
The idea of a nanny sounds good, but there are some benefits to daycare.
#1- Socialization. It’s so important for kids to be comfortable around other people and other kids.
#2- Yes they get sick, but they have to be exposed to germs at some point. If you wait until they are 5 and go to school then they are going to miss school all the time.
#3- Accountability. Call me crazy, but I get scared at the thought of leaving babygirl at home alone with someone. At daycare, she is never alone with just one person. Sure you can have a nany cam, but are you really going to have one? And are you going to have one in every single room in your house?
Nannies are a good look, especially for people who have high-powered careers and are fortunate enough to find the right help.
Day care is expensive but, honestly, I’m not sure I’d want my kids around a bunch of other kids unless the conditions were ideal.
My grandmother was nanny to all three of my kids. I didn’t do daycare. But if a nanny was in my budget, I would definitely prefer that. Granted my home would be wired up with surveillance equipment.
I ain’t touching this one with a ten foot pole.
@Pserendipity: I thought about you when I was typing this and figured you wouldn’t! LoL!!!
GOOD daycare in the D.C. area can cost as much as a nanny share and I know a lot of people who use them here. A nanny wouldn’t be my first choice cause there isn’t enough accountability to me and I wouldn’t want to have to choke a bish over my baby.
P.S. My mama had agreed to move here for a year to help with any babies we produced.
Last time I hit post comment on this thread today.
Having my mama come and help was a great solution not just because she is my mom, but because she was a pre-K/kindergarten teacher for 30+ years.
That is all. LOL!
My first option would be to stay home. I don’t want anyone else raising my kids. But if I had to work or wanted to, I would go with the nanny if we could afford it. Day cares are baby warehouses and cootie factories. I’ve watched kids NEVER be sick and a week into daycare, they are sick every other week. I would also require my nanny to do some park time so my kid can socialize with other kids.
This. Jordan was sick one time her first 15 months. Then daycare 2 days a week and sick every other week.
As for socialization, kids don’t lay with each other until they are closer to 2. YOu can get the same effect via play dates.
And for staying at home. There are times when you want a BREAK.Or need to shop, go to an appointment, etc… Having someone that you trust on a regular basis really helps. Personally, having one more person love your child is a blessing.
Team nanny!
For the first year of Babe’s life she was home with Dad, second year she had a nanny who took care of her (all day) and two other kids (part time) in her home. Nanny O’s children were all in high school or college, she lived around the way and LOVED her some Babe.
I would most def do in home Nanny for the first couple of years if money was no object.
If I could afford it I’d probably get a nanny for at least the first year, year and a half and probably a part time one once the kid went to school. Having a nanny I think would be more flexible than sending my kid to daycare.
I’m a daycare type of Mom. We have a great daycare attached to a private school so the kids can attend from 5weeks old until 8th grade. Costs more than mortgage but the total peace of mind is worth it. The Nanny thing is nice and may work for others but it is not really our speed.
Whatever works for the parents.