2 Degrees of Separation

Well, to wrap this little scenario up, Friend A did have a talk with Friend C, out of respect for their long standing friendship. Friend C admitted that she probably didn’t have all the information because she does not and had not spoken with her cousin (Dude’s ex-wife). Friend A re-confirmed with Dude that he was indeed single and ready to mingle. So they are going to continue to get re-acquainted.  That’s that.

However, commenter ASmith made a very valid point yesterday:

Friend A has no obligation to the cousin, so yes, she should feel free to continue to see Dude. It’s one thing to respect your friends and not date their exes, but if you extend that to friend’s distant relatives (by relation or closeness) then you’ll start seriously cutting down on options. Plus, Friend A knew Dude from before. It’s not like they met through Friend C.

I agree with her. These days, instead of 6 degrees of separation between people, especially single folks, there are more like two. And when you start to add in other parameters such as where someone when to college, or if they are in a fraternity/ sorority or some other organization, their age, where they used to work or where they go to church the pool of eligible singles starts to shrink even further.  If you started ruling out folks by all the restrictions that could possibly apply you might end up dating yourself!

So to thine own self be true, right?? At some point, especially in the dating game, there is bound to be some overlap. But what can you do about it? What are your own personal ethics when it comes to dating?

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7 thoughts on “2 Degrees of Separation

  1. You can’t do anything about it. I believe the situation changes as the circumstances change. If I knew someone he used to kick it with personally it would probably take some doing to get me to be able to get to the point where I felt comfortable dating them.

    HOWEVER…if I didn’t know and got past the getting to know him stage prior to knowing he dated someone I knew…then all is fair in my world. Unless it was like my sister…or Shelly and then? EWWWWWWWWW! NO! BOY BYE! GAG ME WITH A SPOON!

  2. As long as he hasn’t dated my sister, cousins or close friends, I’ll date him. The world is way too small to start putting too many limitations on things. It’s just like the “list” you had when you were young and dumb of things that were mandatory for a mate….the older you get, the more you realize it’s a handful of things that really matter – the rest is negotiable.

  3. “What are your own personal ethics when it comes to dating?”

    Get in where you fit in.

  4. As long as he never dated my sister, close friends or cousins, I will date him.

    I had this discussion with a friend a few years ago. She was upset because her ex of 4 years started dating her sorority sister (we all went to school together). She was yelling that he was wrong for dating her and he knew better than to date one of her sorority sisters and she was wrong because she knew they were together for many years. I was like bish, you and your sorority sister barely talk to each other. And if it wasn’t for you two wearing the same letters, yall probably wouldn’t speak to each other. I had to tell her it’s really not that serious.

  5. I didn’t date anyone who had dated my sisters. I didn’t date anyone who had dated my close friends (there are only 4). I treaded lightly if they were a sibling or cousin of my friends but never took them out of the running.

    And I totally agree on the 2 degrees of separation. With online dating, sk.ype, FB, Twit.ter, and every other way to keep in contact w/a person or to make contact, there is bound to be some overlap. Plus, who doesn’t like to play Black Geography?? You know, figure out the common city, college, organization, job and then figure out who you know from there. Lol.

  6. While Michael and I were dating, he was at my grandmother’s house flipping through photo albums. We discovered that he had dated one of my cousins the prior year. It meant nothing. We still laugh at the fact that it’s a small world and he’s glad he dodged that bullet.

  7. It’s Really a tiny world! Remember the guy I went to college with that you knew?!?
    I digress…
    When it came to dating, I kept an open mind. If the person had dated/relations (confirmed) with a close family member or close friend, it was a no-go. But if he was rumored to have dated my cousin’s brother-in-law’s sisters Soror, he was fair game. Sometimes, we seriously limit our dating pool with hearsay or trivial matters.

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