On Blast: Part 2

So when we last left off, Friend A had gotten an phone call from Dude. Friend B announced it to the free world. Got all that?? Good.

Here is the meaty part: Friend A and Dude worked together in their early twenties and struck up a friendship. Dude got married to the chick he was dating at the time and had 2 kids. Dude is now divorced from said chick. Friend A and Dude reconnected on Facebook and have been out several times, currently just as friends, but there IS a level of interest there. (Clarification: There was no hanky panky between friend A and Dude during his marriage.)

Here’s the slightly awkward part. Enter Friend C. Friend C and Dude’s ex-wife are first cousins, although not very close at all. Friend A and Friend C have been good friends since high school. The get  together was at Friend C’s home. So of course, Friend C heard Dude’s name mentioned when Friend B blurted it out.

So after the other ladies have made their exit, Friend A feels like she needs to have a conversation with Friend C about the situation. During the course of the conversation, it seems that Friend C is not fully informed that Dude is now divorced. Friend A is now uncomfortable and makes a mental note to circle back with Dude about his marital status.

(There is more to the story and Dude is REALLY divorced like he said he was but I’ll stop there.)

Should Friend A have felt obligated to explain herself to Friend C?? Would you have? Should Friend A and Dude continue to hang out and get to know each other?


25 thoughts on “On Blast: Part 2

  1. No.

    Hell no.


  2. If friend C was curious, she would have to ask Friend A in my opinion. Friend A doesn’t “owe” anyone an explanation and if dude is really and truly grown..who cares what is said beyond that.

  3. Pingback: 2 Degrees of Separation « A (formerly) unemployed bride becomes a wife…

  4. Whhooaa I missed all of this today! I agree with most of what’s been said already lol

  5. First off – Friend B needs a beat down & to mind her own bidnezz!

    Friend A certainly has no *obligation* per say, but it’s good that she did say something to C just out of good faith in friendship.

    However – the fact that Friend C isn’t close with & doesn’t know the marital status of her cousin… is not Friend A’s fault.

  6. Way too much explaining, way too much messiness and way too much sloppiness.

    Moral of the story: a) Keep your phone under your care, control and custody at all times AND b) enter first initial/last name in the event that “a” is too much for you.

  7. I’m not explaining myself to anybody. Still irritated with chick with my phone announcing my business.

  8. I don’t know about the hypothetical friends(A&C), but I would say something to C because we are friends. Especially if I knew her cousin, regardless of their relationship, was married to dude. It wouldn’t have any bearing on where our relationship would go.

  9. Friend A and friend C are close friends since highschool. They are at Friend C’s house. Friend C’s cousin was married to Dude.

    Yes! I would have a talk with my good friend after everybody left. My friendship with her is more important than some “potential”. And I would care enough to let my friend know that I wasn’t running with her cousin’s husband, regardless of what her relationship is with the cousin.

  10. She wasn’t “obligated”, but out of the respect of friendship it was okay that she did. It’s getting juicy now!

  11. I wouldn’t have said anything to C, even if dude was still married to her cousin. Adults are capable of having platonic friends of the opposite sex. Explaining makes it seem like you’re guilty of something and trying to do damage control.

  12. No, she is not obligated to discuss this with Friend C.

    Yes, she should keep seeing dude.

  13. No she is not obligated to explain anything. I’m sure she did because she wanted to keep the peace. My question is about Friend C. Is she trying to be messy or did she really not know Dude and her cousin are divorced?

  14. I wouldn’t feel obligated but I dont think there is anything wrong with mentioning it to Friend C just to avoid any mess that could possibly get stirred up.

  15. I would not feel obligated to explain a thing!

  16. I wouldn’t have felt obligated but I would have said something. But then again, if C and I were friends she would know about my budding relationship with her cousin’s ex already.

  17. No, she is not obligated to explain anything and no, she should NOT stop hanging with him. I also feel that she should not have to circle back to Dude either. If she does, he will see her as the type to “sit in a henhouse and listen to cackle” which is viewed as unattractive.
    Friend B would be put on ice, I would limit what I told Friend A about dude but the “getting to re-know you” would continue.

  18. I would’ve felt obligated to explain, if only to make sure there wasn’t going to be any issues. Folks ain’t close until it’s some drama. I’ve received the most random of phone calls behind some “girl, I heard…” type mess. So I wouldn’t lean on “oh, she won’t care because they don’t talk like that” for my personal sanity.

    The other person I would’ve felt obligated to talk to is Friend B. She owed Friend A an apology, even though her intentions, I’m sure, were never to cause an issue.

    This is EXACTLY why the fact that Friend A blurted that out annoyed me — even without knowing the whole story. You just NEVER know who knows who in a room, and if you don’t have all the deets, you need to hush up until you do. We’re all guilty of acting without thinking, but some things should be on autopilot, like STFU…

    Friend A has no obligation to the cousin, so yes, she should feel free to continue to see Dude. It’s one thing to respect your friends and not date their exes, but if you extend that to friend’s distant relatives (by relation or closeness) then you’ll start seriously cutting down on options. Plus, Friend A knew Dude from before. It’s not like they met through Friend C.

  19. I wouldn’t explain to anyone. I’d let Friend C go off and be messy–if she wanted to cus I know it would blow up in her face.

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