Social Butterflies

Shamelessly stolt from over at Shan and Mike’s comment section is this question:

Are you an introvert or extrovert and how does that affect your relationship?

If you haven’t been able to tell, I am an extrovert. (Ya think?) I am married to an extrovert. It works pretty well. In fact, marrying someone who was extroverted and could mix well in social settings was one of my husband’s requirements. To him, it’s the ultimate downer be with someone who you are either ashamed to be out in public with cause they don’t know how to act (example: our best man’s girlfriend who got Moscato wasted at our wedding) or get out in public and act like they have a stick up their asses because they are standoffish.

I have also dated someone who was introverted and it was a bit of a chore. He wasn’t rude, but he was painfully shy.  I can’t be the life of the party for me and for YOU as well. Plus with a more introverted person, I felt like I had to keep checking on him to make sure he was OK and not off the corner somewhere alone.

I think me and hubs are well suited for each other in that way because we have similar type personalities. His sense of humor is a bit crude sometimes, but he’s a dude and you know how men like to cut up. It works for us and we’re good.

What about you? Are you an introvert? Extrovert, perhaps?? What type did you marry or do you prefer to date??


16 thoughts on “Social Butterflies

  1. I’m glad to see so many fellow introverts! It makes me feel a little more normal because people give me a hard time for not being extroverted. The more comfortable I am with a person or group of people, the more jovial and chatty I am. I actually like being around people but it drains my battery fairly quickly. I need to be alone and quiet to feel restored. I’m not a homebody, though. I like to be out even if I’m not going anywhere in particular.

    Being with an extrovert can be exciting but since it wears me out extroverts think I’m boring. Being with an introvert means I have someone who understands my need for quiet, but I don’t like having to convince someone to go somewhere.

  2. My husband and I are both introverts. It can be quite awkward at dinner parties and more formal events. We’re not stand-offish though, just quiet – particularly around people we don’t know. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But put us on a dance floor and we definitely become extroverts lol!

  3. Introvert here… I’ve learned not to be so shy over the years…working in the Corporate world has helped. My Bestie is an extreme extrovert (will talk to a leaf if it blows in her direction). I’ve learned that I can be comfortable, and even enjoy, social situations…even when I’m by myself and don’t know anyone. But I’ll never be an extrovert. My twin sister, on the other hand (who was even shyer than I was as a child) is an extrovert. Another social butterfly who will talk to anyone! #WhodaThunkIt

  4. I’m more of an introvert though I can hold my own in most circumstances, even though I may be uncomfortable. I can play it off pretty well, lol! My husband appears to be an extrovert; he is naturally the life of the party but really he’s an introvert at heart. We get along like two peas in a pod because we don’t have to explain to each other why we may not feel like having company or hanging out,etc…

  5. I’m an extrovert and my husband is a part time introvert. When he’s around people he’s comfortable being around…he’s an extrovert in the worst possible way embarrassing me and whatnot. Sheesh!

  6. I’m an introvert in new settings. I tend to play the background and just observe. Once I get to know the crowd/people? Extrovert. lol

  7. Hey there. Visiting from Shan & Mike. Love the question. 😉

    I’m a total introvert. I have learned to be a bit more social, but it take work. I literally have to form questions to ask people in my head to avoid awkward silences. I’m usually good in one on one situations, but add a third person and I completely clam up. And I do not like general, meaningless chit-chat.

    I have a tendency to date extroverts. This has its pros and cons. Pros – You never have to worry about carrying the conversation because he has no problem doing it. He doesn’t mind asking for things. He’s more creative and comes up with great adventures that I would never even think of.

    Cons – He wants to talk when I need silence to recharge. I need alone time and he always wants to be together. He likes having the tv on and I like having it off occasionally. He wants to go, go, go and I want to have my down time.

    My current bf and I compliment each other, but that’s not to say that having a relationship with another introvert couldn’t work.

  8. I would definitely consider myself an introvert but I have dated both. Mistah is also an introvert.

  9. I’m an Extrovert, and can go pretty much anywhere alone and be just fine. Tony however is an introvert but he can come out of his shell when need be lol. We balance each other out lol.

  10. I’m primarily an introvert. My natural tendency is to be quiet, but if I’m comfortable I’ll come out of my shell big time.

    My husband is an extrovert unless he’s very, very uncomfortable – which is rare. He talks to and knows everybody!

  11. I’m an introvert who has learned to be an extrovert. To the point that anyone who’s known me less than 10 (that’s right, 10) years is shocked when I tell them I was really shy when I was a kid. I’m actually still a pretty shy person, but I’ve learned tricks to get around/over it.

    If I don’t have to be in social settings that require me to “turn it on” I won’t. I’ll avoid, avoid, avoid. In general it’s a problem because as people get to know me, they always want me at parties and whatnot. Small social gatherings I can get with, but those large ones… I do them on a have to basis, only.

    I try to avoid dating people who live for those large situations. Folks who MUST be the life of the party get on my nerves (not to be confused with people who just naturally are…) mostly because they never are ready to go. 🙂 However, I’m also not wild about folks who are so shy and awkward that they can’t function at all in public. I need you to be able to give me 2 hours of “on time” before you’re off in a corner ready to go. I need to feel like I can take you to a function with my friends and I won’t have to beg you to hold a conversation with someone. I’m all about a happy medium.

  12. I’m introverted and extroverted. It depends on my mood of the day and the people around me (I’m a Cancer). My husband is definitely an introvert – more so than I am – unless he’s around people he’s known forever, or unless he’s had a drink. LOL And even then, he’s not goign to work a room in the least bit. I would like it if he were more extroverted in social settings, but he’s very polite with a ready smile and will talk to you when you talk to him. People feel completely at ease around him. When it’s just the two of us, he can become quite chatty though. It’s not too much and not too little. Juuust right for my taste.

    I dated extroverts before I met my boo, and while it was great to have someone who could work a room, that was the ONLY time my relationships were great with extroverts. Once we left the social scene, I was left with a loud extroverted, overly opinionated, talk too much about irrelevant ish, always gotta be going somewhere man. And truth be told, I don’t do public too often, so that extroverted personality was of no use to me 90% of the time.

    For me, this works out well.

    • @Smokie: You?? Introverted?? I don’t see it all! LOL!!!

      • I am super shy in normal social settings, which is why you never see me at any Jones functions. I have my moments when I want to be around people, but it’s not a constant and I never know when the mood will strike…or fade. Girl, I’m known for putting people out of my house after 2 hours. LOL I can’t take but 2 hours of normal social activity before I’ve had enough. By “normal” I mean without any activity. I need some kind of physical activity or game to keep my interest. Conversation alone is never enough. And I’m not a big drinker, so I don’t care about sitting around a bar at happy hour. I want to get up and do something competitive (or illegal ha haaaa).

        Now, when WE used to hang, I was with my CLOSE circle… so I wasn’t shy or anything… and I was doing wild and crazy stuff — which always captures my interest 🙂 and brings out the extrovert in me. But normal stuff renders me introverted… My husband is the same way. I think I’m supposed to be a celebrity or something. LOL

  13. I appear to be an extrovert, but I’m an introvert. My husband is quiet and reserved (appears to be an introvert) but is an extrovert. Works well for us!

  14. I’m an extrovert. I can hold my own in social settings, even though I’d prefer not to have to be “on”. My husband is an introvert that functions as an extrovert when necessary. In other words, he knows how to act! So I guess in a sense, we’re pretty much the same.

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