Not In My Job Description

Let's have a toast to the assholes, douchebags and jerkoffs!

Yes, I sit right next to the project administrative assistant.


  • No, I cannot book your conference room.
  • No, I do not have a projector.
  • No, I don’t know where the admin is. (At least not all the time.)
  • No, I cannot see the Project Director/Resource Manager/CIO’s calendar.
  • No, I will not take a message for the admin. There are sticky notes and a whiteboard in her cube.
  • No, I don’t know how to use the copier scanner. (Well, I do but just like I had to learn you can too.)
  • No, I am not going to turn around because I hear you hovering around outside my cube because the Project Director/Resource Manager/CIO is not in their office and you want to know where they are. I have to hunt their asses down when I need them just like you do.
  • No, accounts payable cannot rush your ACH payment on your invoice. They send payments out every Wednesday.
  • No, overseas employee you cannot book your time to the project.
  • No, other department you will not be booking your miscellaneous travel to a cost center that you think no one looks at. I review EVERYTHING in the budget monthly.
  • No, I am not your beyotch because we need to do this implementation and do it under budget. So I am going to question your travel request.
  • Yes, I am the project accountant. I am cute but I do other shit too. That’s why they hired me.
  • Please get over yourself.

That is all.

13 thoughts on “Not In My Job Description

  1. Added this to my Fab Posts Friday link love feature today on Man Wife and Dog. LOVE IT! I’m dealing with some similar thoughts at my desk as we speak. šŸ™‚

    P.S. Also added your blog to my blogroll. LOVE IT!

  2. Pingback: Fab Posts Fridays: A Great Easy Date Idea, 101 Goals in 1001 Days, and More! | Man Wife And Dog Blog

  3. Long time reader, first time commenter! I luuuuuuuuve, luuurrrrve this post!

  4. Good job! Keep ’em in line girl! (And I love that Kanye song lol)

  5. HAHAHAHAHAHA I’m too tickled

  6. Loves it! Tell ’em how you REALLY feel! LOL!

  7. I can’t stop laughing. Sidenote, i miss your links to the NY Times stories of interest. Feel free to email me them:)

  8. I feel this way about the systems architect who sits behind me:

    Q: Is he here today?
    A: Is his jacket hanging outside his cube?
    Q: Yes. Do you know where he is?
    A: No idea. I’m not in charge of him.

    Everyday. Most of the time, I wear my headphones so that people won’t bother me. Even if I’m not listening to music.


  10. I am tickled at the category title “Life of a Corporate Wage Slave”. ROFL

  11. I particularly agree with the third point from the bottom. Funny reading.

    Welcome, brother and thanks for commenting!!

  12. LOL! LOVE it. I can hear you saying every.single.bulletpoint.

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