Yes, I sit right next to the project administrative assistant.
- No, I cannot book your conference room.
- No, I do not have a projector.
- No, I don’t know where the admin is. (At least not all the time.)
- No, I cannot see the Project Director/Resource Manager/CIO’s calendar.
- No, I will not take a message for the admin. There are sticky notes and a whiteboard in her cube.
- No, I don’t know how to use the copier scanner. (Well, I do but just like I had to learn you can too.)
- No, I am not going to turn around because I hear you hovering around outside my cube because the Project Director/Resource Manager/CIO is not in their office and you want to know where they are. I have to hunt their asses down when I need them just like you do.
- No, accounts payable cannot rush your ACH payment on your invoice. They send payments out every Wednesday.
- No, overseas employee you cannot book your time to the project.
- No, other department you will not be booking your miscellaneous travel to a cost center that you think no one looks at. I review EVERYTHING in the budget monthly.
- No, I am not your beyotch because we need to do this implementation and do it under budget. So I am going to question your travel request.
- Yes, I am the project accountant. I am cute but I do other shit too. That’s why they hired me.
- Please get over yourself.
That is all.