Friends..How Many Us Have Them

Myron and I started hanging out with a small group of friends when we started dating, some married and some single. We call ourselves the Cool Kids. We hang out at each other houses and go out to dinner and other social occasions together as a group. If our single friends are dating someone, their significant other is welcome to come along as well. Because we have been kicking it for a while, we have established a certain level of trust and we support each other as well like real friends do, in addition to the social stuff we do. However, like in many groups of people, there is just one person who is just not very well liked but is the significant other of one of  the other friends. Needless to say, it has made for a somewhat strained friendship dynamic. I know what you are thinking, why not discontinue the friendship with the couple, right? Well, it’s not that simple because two of the folks in our group are brothers and the brother with the difficult-to-deal with partner is super cool.

The friend with the difficult partner has elected for the time being to bow out of hanging with us (for the sake of keeping a peaceful household), but it made me sad. He will be missed at our gatherings.

In the past I was a single person who mostly hung out with single people. Hanging in a mixed group of couples and singles is new for me. 

Do any of you hang out with a mixed group of friends (both couples and singles)?? How do you keep the group dynamics running smoothly?


8 thoughts on “Friends..How Many Us Have Them

  1. It’s not something we focus on. We just hang. If there is an issue we’d prolly miss it anyway until one of the Messy Marvins pointed it out to us.

    Then we’d be like…oh well…glad it’s not us.

  2. Over the past 3 years of our relationship, we tend to hang with his crew of marrieds and kids and thankfully, everyone gets along. Most of my friends are single women; most of his are married couples. It’s amazing how dudes experience the “third wheel” thing so differently from the way women do. My now husband has socialized with the same crew for the past 20+ years and continued to socialize (and travel) with them regardless of his or their relationship statuses. I couldn’t imagine going on a couples weekend trip as a single woman. Oy!

  3. We have a group a friends that is mostly other married couples. We have more single friends than couple friends, but we don’t normally all hang out in big groups. Hmm, how to keep it running smoothly? I don’t really know. There have been some bumps and bruises along the road with each group, but over time things just seemed to work themselves out. Agree with onefromphilly – we see the group close to never now that we have a child and no one else does. =(

  4. I’ve always had a mixed group of hang out friends, well at least since my late 20’s. We all used to hang out together. But surprisingly, the drama queen wife that nobody likes isn’t the only thing that will change the dynamics of the group, children will even moreso. Once folks start having kids, and usually not at the same time, the hang out time almost drops to zero.

    So I wouldn’t worry about keep the dynamics running smoothly because they will keep changing. Strong friendships won’t.

  5. Are you saying the wife of the brother doesn’t like that the single women are hanging with the crew?

    We used to hang out in mixed sets, but now I prefer the married couples because no one gets bored when kids pop up in the conversation. Kids are usually invited.

  6. I have both and it kinda just works. I don’t know why. I’m thoughtful about who I introduce to the group because there are some strong personalities and every man I date isn’t going to respond well to all of that. Plus, we have years of ‘inside’ jokes. Again, everyone can’t hang around all of that. Oh…And trust, there’s a still bickering. But at the end of the day, we mostly work it out.

  7. Yes, my friends are married and single. I hang with them individually all the time, but I only hang with them and their significant other if I’m also in a relationship. Right now, I’m just dating and I don’t introduce dates to my friends unless I think they have long term potential. Otherwise, I bow out of group gatherings with couples because I would feel like a third wheel.

    I think the funniest thing about having married friends is they’re ALWAYS trying hook me up. LOL The most difficult is when a couple break up and you like them both. 😦

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