I was chatting with Serenity23 on Twitter the other day and she asked me a very interesting question. She asked me to blog about how I feel now that I am married and my thoughts about my dating adventures and mis-adventures up until now. I favorited her tweets and I told her I would blog about it. So this might be kind of random but here goes.
You know how in the fall around Halloween, they have those mazes that are cut into cornfields and you wander around in them until eventually you find your way out?? Well to me, that’s what being married feels like. It feels like I found the exit to my own personal maze of dating.
Much like in a maze, you run into some dead ends or you may go around in circles for while and that’s how my dating life was. There were some good dudes that I met along the way and some not so good dudes. I definitely felt like I was at a dead end for a good portion of the time that I was single but just like I wanted to find the exit to the maze, I wanted to find the exit to singleness so I kept dating. I might have took a break from time to time, but I kept on dating.
For the most part I don’t regret my dating experiences. I dealt with decent guys, I wasn’t mistreated. I was cheated on once but I recovered and moved on. I did a couple of “recycles”, which in hindsight wasn’t the best idea. But if you don’t make mistakes, how do you know to do better. Every bad date reinforced my self worth and showed me what I wasn’t going to tolerate. Every good date showed me that there ARE decent men out there. And I have some stories to tell my future children that’s for sure! 🙂
But mostly for me, being married feels like contentment, security, love and a general sense of completeness. I am happy that I chose the right person for me and I am happy that he feels I am the right person for him. I do wish I had met him 5 years ago, but truthfully, I probably wasn’t ready to be married then. God’s time was not my time but it was the right time in the grand scheme of my life.
Being married means that the next time I have to go into a cornfield maze, I don’t have go it alone. If I get lost I have someone right beside me to help me figure my way out (as well as talk my ass down off the ledge). I don’t have to face life’s joys and life’s challenges alone anymore.
It took me 37 years to get here.
And thus far, I’m loving it.