How Does It Feel?

I was chatting with Serenity23 on Twitter the other day and she asked me a very interesting question. She asked me to blog about how I feel now that I am married and my thoughts about my dating adventures and mis-adventures up until now. I favorited her tweets and I told her I would blog about it. So this might be kind of random but here goes.

You know how in the fall around Halloween, they have those mazes that are cut into cornfields and you wander around in them until eventually you find your way out?? Well to me, that’s what being married feels like. It feels like I found the exit to my own personal maze of dating.

Much like in a maze, you run into some dead ends or you may go around in circles for while and that’s how my dating life was. There were some good dudes that I met along the way and some not so good dudes. I definitely felt like I was at a dead end for a good portion of the time that I was single but just like I wanted to find the exit to the maze, I wanted to find the exit to singleness so I kept dating. I might have took a break from time to time, but I kept on dating.

For the most part I don’t regret my dating experiences. I dealt with decent guys, I wasn’t mistreated. I was cheated on once but I recovered and moved on. I did a couple of “recycles”, which in hindsight wasn’t the best idea.  But if you don’t make mistakes, how do you know to do better. Every bad date reinforced my self worth and showed me what I wasn’t going to tolerate. Every good date showed me that there ARE decent men out there. And I have some stories to tell my future children that’s for sure! 🙂

But mostly for me, being married feels like contentment, security, love and a general sense of completeness. I am happy that I chose the right person for me and I am happy that he feels I am the right person for him. I do wish I had met him 5 years ago, but truthfully, I probably wasn’t ready to be married then. God’s time was not my time but it was the right time in the grand scheme of my life.

Being married means that the next time I have to go into a cornfield maze, I don’t have go it alone. If I get lost I have someone right beside me to help me figure my way out (as well as talk my ass down off the ledge).  I don’t have to face life’s joys and life’s challenges alone anymore.

It took me 37 years to get here. 

And thus far, I’m loving it.


19 thoughts on “How Does It Feel?

  1. Wow! Great post. You sound so happy. I love that!

  2. I love it!!! Still single, of course, but enjoying my “season.” I know the journey will be worth it.

  3. This made me smile too! Congratulations again on finding your perm plus one!

  4. A very season-appropriate way to put it 🙂 and I couldn’t agree more. We’ve all been lost in the confusing maze of dating. Although I don’t feel different being married than I did before (although it’s nice not to be planning anymore) – it’s more a sense of contentedness. It’s great.

    And even better – I found you on twitter! 🙂 hee

  5. Great post! Great analogy. I totally understand.

  6. Love the fact that you can admit that you were not ready to be married 5 years ago. Very well said.

  7. This is wonderfully written and I feel your happiness and appreciation for all of your experiences in every word! Thank you for sharing.

  8. Finding that right fit is so important. I am so happy for the both of you. You two seem so compatible to me. I love to see people loving each other the right way ! Be Blessed.

  9. This post made me tear up. I’ve never heard/read anyone describe marriage quite that way. It makes me look forward to it even more. Thanks for sharing and CONGRATS to both of you for choosing wisely!

  10. Great post! I’ve virtually “known” you for a couple of years and your virtual personality seems so blissful! I’m so happy for you!

  11. Great post! I love the analogy! Congrats again!! Black love in full effect!

  12. this makes me smile.. So happy for ya!! great analogy!!

  13. How lovely. I know you two will have a marriage filled with love and laughter.

  14. I’m so happy you found your way out! You and Taz are both so very blessed to have found lovely men.

    I’m still in the haunted house with S23, but ya’ll give me hope!

  15. What a great post TIH!

  16. Thanks for sharing this.

    I didn’t date much. My relationship with my husband was my first to last a year. The second longest – we broke up the day before what would have been our one year dating anniversary. So I didn’t go through the maze – but I did go through an emotional rollercoaster wondering if God would bless me with a husband. It took me 39/40 years and I don’t regret one moment. In addition to what you said about marriage, I have an awesome sense of peace about my life. Even when things get stressful at work or family drama tried to take me out – I know that I am but a few moments from resting in the arms of the one that loves me with all his heart. That is shonuff peace.

  17. LOL. when I read the corn maze I thought you were saying you entered one with Myron until I kept reading. I like this analogy. Maybe my dating analogy would be a haunted house with trap doors & ish.. Thanks for writing this!

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