As usual, Michele of Black n’ Bougie brings the heat, this time about the satirical Black Marriage Negotiations video that’s floating around the interwebs today. My comment turned into a blog post of it’s own so I thought I’d bring it back home and let ya’ll have a stab at it.
Here’s what I said:
I haven’t watched the video. I probably won’t either. Ya’ll’s commentary is enough to let me know I haven’t missed anything that hasn’t been done to death, already.
But what I really wanted to say is this: Prior to meeting my now-husband, I had to take a break from all things black relationships and their subsequent death. My Google reader was full of SBMs, VSBs, Single Girl in (Insert X) City and the likes. I had just come off of dealing with a “recycled” dude from my early 20s who I thought had grown up but hadn’t. I was full of piss and quite a lot of vinegar. I was tart. I had a tantrum at my mother’s kitchen table where I told her not to not expect any grandchildren from me and to accept the fact that I wasn’t getting married, because I had. She looked at me as if I had grown 3 heads and said: “This is so not like you. This is not even of your personality. WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO ANGRY?”
Her words jabbed me. When DID I become so angry? I had always bounced back from relationship snafu’s before so what was so different this time.
I don’t get into a lot of psycho babble but I will say this, what you absorb from outside media can influence how you think and to some degree how you feel. Of course, constant reading of a relationship blog shouldn’t make you want to cut your wrists with a butter knife, but the barrage of he-said, she said that goes hand in hand with the black gender wars, both online and in real life, was enough to make me really take stock and say I need to fall back. I had to get my mind right, ya’ll. I’m a person of faith so I had to pray. I had to talk to my folks, I had to talk to my SANE married friends and I had to stop bitching so much to my single friends. I just STOPPED for a while.
This little video, satire or not, is just another bit of noise that you have to decide if you want to absorb or not. I personally say don’t, because right about now it’s not adding value. And if you are close to the place, I was at around that time you don’t really need it in your life. Don’t you absorb enough bullshit as it is???
What do ya’ll think??