Natasha over at Natasha The Newlywed put up a great post about single black women and the church. The CNN article that she references in her post has been making the rounds for a while now but I felt compelled to comment at her spot and ended up with a blog worthy comment.
Here is what I said:
I could go on and on about this topic but I won’t. Suffice it to say that when I was active with my church’s singles ministry (which wasn’t so long ago) the ratio of women to men was 80/20, sometimes 90/10. It was disheartening to say the least. Not for the hookup ratio, but simply to have balance in the discussion. I used to moderate the singles forums we used to have and nearly all the women used to quote the same chapter and verse of he who finds a wife finds a good thing, which is true. But like I LOVE to say, Jesus is not going to deliver a man to your front door like FedEx. Not surprisingly, many of the single women were not active in other aspects of their lives when it came to being available to meet men, but stayed up in church 24/7/365. I left the singles ministry in early 2009, not because of the participants but because of the church staff, who were extremely reluctant to let us do innovative programming to attact single people to the ministry. And this was a progressive mega-church with tons of single people attending. Black women need to realize that Jesus is our Savior but he is NOT a husband.
I said I wasn’t going to go on about this but I did. Sorry for blogging in the comments. I need to take this to my own joint.
And so I did. I am a Christian and have no problems saying so. However I am also an advocate of women taking control of their destinies and living their lives, regardless of their marital status. In that respect, I think some women can let church activities (or any ONE activity) dominate their lives to their detriment. There is something to be said for balance and moderation. My faith is a very important of my life and is the guideline to how I try to live my life and I don’t want to come across as if I am knocking having a faith tradition in your life.
But I don’t want anyone to live life on the sidelines, waiting.
I tried it that way. It’s no fun at all.