Last night, we attended the second session of pre-marital counseling at our church. In addition to the female counselor that I mentioned last week, we were joined by the male counselor (they have a man and a woman for balance) who is also a minister.
This session consisted of discussing the questions we were supposed to do for homework. There were 3 sets of questions, a relationship history, a relationship inventory in which you were to evaluate your relationship as it currently is, and a set of questions dealing with your expectations for marriage and for your partner within a marriage.
We discussed good and bad points within our relationships, talked about why we wanted to marry our partners and our definitions of a good marriage. Of course, because the counseling is Christian and Biblical based the counselors stressed the need to have a God-centered marriage and the need to get professional counseling if we encounter serious problems in our marriage (it’s men that are more resistant to counseling than women).
One of the questions in the relationship inventory was very PC in how it was asked but it basically dealt with pre-marital “relations” and how basically engaged couples shouldn’t be having them..LOL!!! But we will be getting more in depth about “relations” a little further along in our sessions and both counselors insisted that the discussions will be candid.
I didn’t necessarily get the best impression after the initial counseling session but I felt better about the second round. I was wondering if we were sharing enough (without oversharing) because the other couple is quite chatty. But Myron had to gently remind me that we are who WE are and that was fine. (Thanks, babe!) So, I am ready to dig deep and get the most from the sessions that I possibly can. Any tips that I can take with me to make our marriage the most successful and strong that it can possibly be is worth it and very important to me.
Following are some of the questions that were asked in the various inventories. You might want to jot down your answers. It’s definitely food for thought.
1) List 3 best/worst memories from your dating experience with your partner?
2) Name 3-4 things you like to do together for fun?
3) Where does God fit into your relationship? Do you feel you have spiritually hindered your partner in anyway?
4) What is your definition of marriage?
5) What do you bring to a marriage? What does your partner bring?
6) What are your expectations of marriage and of your partner in your marriage?