Make It Plain

I am a Gemini. While I don’t get all into the whole astrology, reading so heavily into your Zodiac sign mumbo-jumbo, I do feel that I display several traits that are attributed to this sign. I am friendly, very open, and gregarious. I also talk ALOT and believe in open communication…..with everyone else in my life, except the men I have happened to date. I have always managed to get that down pretty good in my friendships but never so much in my personal relationships with men. I seemed to have a habit of attracting men whose idea of communication skills (in particular as it related to conflict) was to do a total shutdown, sometimes for days. That, my dear readers, is not the business at all.
 
One of the things that I have been blessed with is a fiancé who is an excellent communicator. It’s vital to our relationship. No matter how difficult the conversation is (and we’ve had some difficult conversations already) he manages to get ME to open up and dig deep about topics concerning our relationship and our upcoming marriage.
 
One of the things that he keeps encouraging me about and that was IS a particularly bad habit of mine is to assume that he can read my mind. He keeps encouraging me to voice what I need from him. That can sometimes be difficult for me, in particular as I adjust from a single to a coupled mindset. But I’m working on it and over time it will get easier for me.
 
I said all that to say, in a rambly sort of way, don’t always assume the other person you are communicating with (be it your friend, your husband or your mama) understands the abstract recesses of YOUR brain.
 
If you have a problem, speak up and make it plain.
 
P.S. And while you’re at it, go read THIS.
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4 thoughts on “Make It Plain

  1. Wow, we must be twins because I am the exact same way. I used to think FI was a mind reader. Because of him I am learning to communicate better and articulate my feelings.

  2. Good post! Assumptions in a relationship cause nothing but static!

  3. Communication comes in many forms. Their shutting down was them communicating that there was a problem. That’s not the effective form of communication because, to your point, the other person still doesn’t know exactly what the problem is.

    That is an excellent point and thank you for bringing that up.

  4. What I have found here recently is that even when you *think* you are talking about everything, sometimes you aren’t talking about the things you should be discussing. Maybe one person doesn’t open up because they fear your reax or hurting you and maybe aren’t 100 percent sure how they feel and don’t want to go there in case it’s a passing moment.

    But, all that means is once it does bubble up, it makes for hurt and upset and a bigger mess than if it had been dealt with back when the issue came up.

    It’s important to be honest, even if it’s hard or if it will lead to emotional conflict. Get it out.

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