On Short Engagements

For those who are new to the blog, Myron and I dated 6 months before we got engaged. We will have been engaged almost 10 months when we actually get married on September 26, 2010. And for me that actually works out great.

I am in favor of the short engagement, no matter what the age but in particular if you are an older bride.

Short engagements make you FOCUS. The condensed time frame helps to filter out a lot of the wedding noise that is out there and doesn’t leave you a lot of time to second guess yourself.

You don’t have a lot of time to get caught up in a ton of wedding p.o.r.n. I had selected my colors, bridesmaids, and dress within two months of being engaged. I didn’t have time to make pretty letters to invite my bridesmaids to be in the wedding party and all that type of crap. I called them up, asked their schedules and asked them would they stand up on my behalf. Simple.

The same thing happened with my dress. Being plus sized, I knew my options were already going to be limited so I didn’t try to look ALL over Houston for dress shops. I went to David’s Bridal, tried on some dresses, picked one that was flattering and that my mama and I liked and was done with that part of it.

I nailed down a venue fairly quickly as well. At the time I wasn’t working so I made good use of my time when I wasn’t looking for a new gig and toured a number of venues. It helped me to narrow down what kind of venue and wedding I could afford pretty fast. I am not going to be DIYing a lot of my wedding decor and that type of stuff typically is time consuming so I think DIY stuff would be better utilized by someone who probably has a longer engagement.

Shorter engagements require one to research and vet your wedding vendor quickly. I have been relying more on word on mouth referrals from people who have already used the vendor as opposed to going to general wedding websites and just picking out vendors randomly.

Probably the best thing about a long engagement is the ability to save more money to pay for the wedding you want, but the that’s also more time to save more money to spend on things that in hindsight you might not even really need.

The absolute best thing about a shorter engagement is that I get to be married to Myron just that faster! 🙂

What say ya’ll about the length of an engagement? How long were you engaged??

11 thoughts on “On Short Engagements

  1. My engagement period was 5 months. I wouldn’t have chosen a long engagement or delayed our marriage due to cost or finances. Getting married is super inexpensive. It’s the weddings that cost!

  2. Great post. We’ll be engaged 19mo’s come our wedding. We didn’t choose our date, our venue was open that day, so that was our deciding factor. I will admit the long engagement helped us – only because a few weeks into it he lost his job. The longer timeframe helped out a lot.

    However, I totally agree with you that shorter’s better in general. More time to plan = more procrastination and more time to second guess yourself.

  3. Engaged in early December and married that June. I would have waited the full year, but his baby brother had joined the army and was supposed to be shipping out in June. Since it was important for him to attend, I agreed to a shorter engagement.

  4. Odd woman out! We started dating in ’93, got engaged in ’97 and married in ’99. We had a relatively small ceremony in my parent’s backyard – I’m not a frou frou, big ceremony type chick. I’m not really sure why we had such a long engagement, but whatever. It worked for us.

  5. WE met in June 2009, got engaged in Feb 2010, and are getting married on May 28, 2010..whoohoo!! I have to agree a short engagement makes for a very practical wedding. We didn’t have a budget just a short time frame(3 months) , which actually helped us keep our costs down.

  6. I was recently engaged April 30 of this year. We have set April 30, 2011 as our wedding date. Although it is a little less than a year from now, I already feel overwhelmed. You would think an entire year is long. We’ve visited a number of venues but nothing has caught my eye. Like many others, we are also on a budget.

    Welcome Rashaun and congratulations! Don’t get overwhelmed. Focus on what is important to you and your fiance’. Use the big wedding websites as your inspiration and then stop looking at them so much. They are mass produced and stylized. Email me if you have questions!

  7. We’ll have been engaged for 18 months by the time our wedding rolls around in July 2011, but yes, we definitely want to get married. Our engagement is long, but not exactly by choice. We went with a long engagement to give us time to get debts from past relationships paid off, to pay for our wedding as we go so that we won’t have new debt going into the marriage (we’re paying for it ourselves), and to help my children adjust to the situation.

    Even still, I’m not doing much in the way of the frou-frou trappings. I’ve got a life to live between then and now, and while I enjoy the occasional craft, I really don’t want to spend the next 14 months worrying about eight gazillion tiny details nobody in their right mind will notice anyway.

  8. My wife and I had a short engagement and courtship as well. If I remember correctly, our courtship, engagement, and subsequent marriage all took place within a six month period.

    We had known each other a little over two years, and we had dated on and off, but at some point we both said, let’s just stop playing games.

    We were planning a big wedding, but then we decided not to waste the money and go through the stress. So, we opted to just get a few friends together and head to the courthouse. And now we will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary in May.

  9. We were engaged in May and got married in November of the same year. My dad offered me money for a big wedding OR a down payment on a home. I took the latter. My situation forced me to be on a budget, so I was able to filter a lot of things out immediately. We opted to exchange our vows at 10 AM on a Saturday morning with only 50 of our closest family and friends. We each had one attendant and the ceremony was followed with an intimate jazz brunch. I can’t imagine it any other way!

  10. Anything over a year and I’m wondering if folks really want to get married. LOL!

    We were engaged for about a year while we downsized our life.

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