When I first decided to blog about planning our wedding, I mulled the decision over for several weeks and talked it over with Myron before I pulled the trigger. Making the transition from frequent commenter to blogger was hard for me. When you comment on someone else’s blog, you give your opinion on their words. When you become a blogger, you get other people’s opinions on your words. It can be incredibly satisfying (and ego-boosting) and alternatively, incredibly scary, especially if you haven’t developed a very thick skin. The anonymity of the interwebs allows people to be mean and cruel sometimes.
I initially thought that I would really just have pictures of my inspirations for the wedding and progress on the actual planning process and I still plan to do so. But what I have found is this is turning into a space for me (and my commenters) to discuss a lot of the residual issues to pop up when a woman plans a wedding and more importantly, when a woman makes the transition from being a single person to being part of a couple.
My personal journey from being a single person who needs to only to be concerned with herself to being part of a couple who are concerned about each other was put to the test this past weekend. I think that I passed. I am proud of myself because though I am far from perfect, I am certainly a long way from the type of person I used to be, even just a year ago.
What I am finding out is that I have a capacity to love I didn’t know I had. That I have a capacity to forgive I didn’t know existed. I am learning to that my anger can be tempered. That people mean so much more than things. I am learning that that I do WANT to be a better person and that the RIGHT person can inspire that in you. If you aren’t evolving or wanting to evolve, to me, that’s just like dying slowly on the vine.
So today and for all the days going forward, I am grateful that the more that I know, the more I continue to grow.