While reading my wedding p.o.r.n* last night, I came across a blog entry that made me sit straight up in bed in agreement. I know I have not talked much about how I would prefer our ceremony and reception to flow but one thing I am adamant about is this: I WILL NOT BE DOING A BOUQUET TOSS.
The first reason for my dislike hatred of the bouquet toss is the fact that some ladies take it a BIT TOO SERIOUSLY. The toss should not be a full contact sport. There is no reason for chicks to put on pads before getting on the dance floor. I have seen way too many women embarrassing themselves by wrestling over a few bits of flowers, to the point where there is pushing and shoving. In 1999, I was at my line sister’s wedding in Dallas, where the bride’s little teenage cousin nearly took out one of my other sorors over the bouquet. She elbowed my soror so hard that she went to the bathroom with some discomfort and needed an Advil for the pain in her side.
That my dear readers, is some BS. Seriously.
The second and to me, even more important reason that I am not doing the bouquet toss is this: once you get over the age of 30, the bouquet toss is nothing but a spectacle. Hear me out on this. As we get older and folks couple up and get married, the number of singletons tends to get smaller. And typically there are always more single women than single men. So invariably, the DJ calls all the single ladies to the dance floor. And nobody gets up. The bride starts imploring all the single ladies come to the dance floor. And still nobody wants to get up. So then, folks at the tables start harassing the women that they know to be single to get up and head to the dance floor for that tomfoolery.
Uh uh, not your girl TIH.
After about age 31 or 32, I stopped doing it. I refused. I would leave the room. I would give folks the side eye and tell them to leave me alone. Maybe it was my own self consciousness, but I already knew I was single (and had some angst about being single) so I didn’t really relish being put on display and then having to deal with the barrage of (well meaning) questions about why I wasn’t married yet/why didn’t I have a boyfriend/why I didn’t have a baby. Folks don’t mean any harm when they ask such questions and a wedding is certainly the time where those conversations would more than likely come up but as a single woman (at the time) I wanted to celebrate the bride and not have the occasion turn into an interrogation about MY personal life from my relatives or friends.
So I made a promise to myself. I promised that if I was ever blessed enough to get married, I wouldn’t make other single women do something that I, myself absolutely hated about weddings. So, no bouquet toss. No WWE style grappling on the dance floor. None of that. I just want ALL my friends and family, single or not, to celebrate and have a good time with Myron and I at our wedding. So I plan to give my flowers to the couple in the room who have been married the longest, as a way to honor THEM. I want my marriage to be as long and happy as theirs.
So all the single ladies, you are good with me. I feel you.
(*Definition of wedding p.o.r.n. – all wedding related media including blogs and websites, pictures, magazines etc. etc. etc. LOL!)