I have had a post in draft about this subject for a while now. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to address it or even if I should.
I was reading over at CreoleInDC’s spot and one of her post topics was about if it was insulting to tell a woman she’s pretty for a “big girl”. The comment debate ensued from there but the topic got me thinking about my post that’s been sitting in draft for almost 2 months, which is a mishmash of my thoughts about being a bride who happens to be plus size.
For those of you who read the blog who don’t know, I am what is considered plus sized. I won’t tell my exact size but depending on the tag that is in the back of my clothes I could be anything from a size 16 to a size 22. Translate that to the bridal world and the sizes go up from there. It’s like bridal sizing (be it straight or plus sized) is in some bizarre alternate universe. In the bridal world, for the most part, a plus size bride is invisible. The larger bridal dress chains like David’s Bridal and Alfred Angelo carry plus size dresses and have considerably expanded their selection for the plus size bride (and bridesmaid) but other than that I haven’t seen many (if any) plus size brides on prominent display in mainstream wedding media.
I read the wedding site Weddingbee on the daily and there is a Bee blogger who has talked about her efforts to find a dress at a mainstream bridal shop that wasn’t David’s or Alfred’s and how she finally decided to get a custom made dress. I feel her pain. That’s part of the reason that I went to David’s Bridal and found my dress there. (The other reason was my budget. I don’t have Kleinfeld’s Say Yes to the Dress type loot.) In fact, I think Weddingbee does better than most larger wedding websites because they actually have message boards devoted to plus size brides. However, I think it’s unfortunate that the wedding/bridal industry doesn’t realize that all types of women get married, be they slender or full figured, Black, White, Hispanic or Asian. A lot of the bridal advertising that is out there has the bride looking like a 12 year old prepubescent girl. No hips, no curves, nothing. There are a lot of wedding resources that are universal to all women, true enough. But it’s awfully nice to connect with people who look like you or are shaped like you. And every woman deserves to be celebrated and made to feel beautiful on her wedding day, of all days.
Please don’t get it twisted, this is not a pity party type of post. I am well aware of my size, my fiancé loves me in the package I currently come in and I am working on slimming down, not just for this wedding but because it needs to be a lifestyle change. But I’m not ever going to be a size 4, or a 6 and maybe not even an 8. But considering the average size American woman is a 12-14, you’d think the industry would get a clue.
But of course, that would be too much like right.