Although I am enjoying planning our wedding (at least up to this point, ask me in 2 months), I am really looking forward to being married. Myron is a joy to be around, keeps me laughing and loves me dearly. And generally for me, thoughts about marriage leads to thoughts about family and what makes a family. Their are a lot of different families in today’s society. Two parents, single parents, singletons, family by blood and family by choice.
I grew up in the standard two-parent home. A dad, a mom and a baby brother. I have a half-brother but we didn’t grow up together. My immediate nuclear family is very close despite the fact that my brother and I are 12 years apart. And as such, we spent a lot of time together, even when I became a self sufficient adult. It was nothing for me to stop by for dinner during the week (when I lived closer, I’d go over there for lunch!). Sunday dinner was a given. I am their resident IT person, clerk-typist-bookkeeper, and reader of important mail. My mom sends us cards for Valentine’s Day and makes us baskets for Easter. Even as grown up kids, we still get Christmas gifts. Myron says I’m spoiled, but my mom says we are just well-loved!! LOL!! I have some good parents, and I know without a doubt that I am extremely blessed.
But the flipside to having a close family, especially when you have been single for a long time, is a double edged sword. The parents think that you are available to them almost at the drop of a hat and when you break routine (like going for dinner every Sunday), they sometimes don’t understand.
The Good Book says that one must leave their mother and father and cleave to their spouse, and I certainly agree with that. My first priority is to my husband-to-be. But what I didn’t expect is the mental transition that I am finding that I have to make and that my folks will certainly have to make as well. My time will no longer be my own and their feelings can’t be hurt when I decline an invitation because my husband might just want to chill at the house or because we have other plans.
I think that men have an easier time of leaving and cleaving because they are expected to go and make their own families, but for (most) women it’s a bit harder. But the fact of the matter is, when you get married you are creating your own little family. And though you are in the infancy stages of creating your family, it’s up to the two of you to nurture it, protect it and set the boundaries with friends, as well as your own families.
What say ya’ll???