Merging

I have been single a long time. A great deal of that time I have spent living alone. I have lived with men in my past and temporarily bunked with my parents on occasion but the majority of the time since I was 22 years old has been spent living with lil old me.

When I had boyfriends or “friends” they may have spent the night or stayed a weekend but they always went home. And once again, it was me and my space.

When Myron and I started dating, we typically saw each other on weekends. I had a long commute to work and to stay overnight during the week would have added at least 30 minutes to my commute plus I would have had to pass up my house coming from his. So we were immersed in each other during the weekends, which seem to unmercifully fly by.

It got to the point where it got really hard to see him leave on Sundays and he really hated to go. I started suggesting that he move in with me. I missed him, he missed me and we got along so well so why not just save all this money by shacking up. He wasn’t ready and understandably so. That’s one of the things I love about him. He’s a lot more forward looking than I am and also a lot more patient. I was a bit petulant about the whole thing but I backed off. I wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t either.

Well..he’s here now.Β  Moved in for good on Tuesday. And I’m thrilled to finally have him here every day. I can already see the adjustment is really going to be mine to make. There might be some disagreements intense conversations. In fact, I’m sure of that. But because we communicate, communicate, communicate…I am positive we will work through them. We’re good like that. πŸ™‚

He’s very comfortable in my our space. He’s already got ideas for new furniture and a flat screen for the master bedroom. I’m excited but somewhat uncertain. After all, I’m been rolling solo for quite some time.Β  I want the change to happen, but not so abruptly. He assures me it will be gradual and we will make all the decisions about my our place together.

There’s that word again. Ours.

After all this time that I’ve spent alone, our two lanes are merging into one. I like it.

(But I’m sure I’ll have more to report about the combining of two separate households as time goes on.)Β  πŸ™‚

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17 thoughts on “Merging

  1. Just don’t “merge” them bank accounts!! Keep your own personal bank accounts.. If you want to have a joint savings account fine. Separate your bills… you pay some and he pays some..or however you want to do it.

  2. Awwwwwwwwwww! I made it easy for us. I got rid of all of Robby’s furniture save for two things because his stuff did NOT go with my stuff and he got his own room. Give M2 his own room as it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for us.

  3. How’d I miss this? I think an “Awwwwww” is in order.

  4. I am not looking forward to merging when that time comes. I have a feeling that the refrigerator in the bedroom closet is going to be one of the first things to go. I know that finances and other things are going to be a delicate matter. I think when I do merge the excitement of starting a new journey in life will make is bearable.

  5. I often wonder if I can do this. There’s not an ounce of space in my closet, bathroom, etc. and I work in my guest room. Not to mention I’m so particular.. jesus will need to take the wheel on this.

  6. You’ll be surprized how smooth this transition can actually be. It might take a few months of adjustments but combined with wedding planning you’ll be too busy to notice.

  7. Great post. I look forward to this day. Enjoy it and avoid the side eye’s for not doing doing things the way you do it.

  8. This was by far the greatest struggle for me.

  9. I totally anticipate this being a huge adjustment for me when the time comes. Sassy totally has me wanting to keep my house as an escape! πŸ˜†

    I’m sure you guys will have the smoothest of transitions!

  10. Great post. It was for me (and still remains) a struggle to go from ME to WE. It’s like when I ate or cleaned, it was good enough because all was taken care of. But looking out for another being was shocking. It will definitely take some time and with the great communication y’all have, it will be easy.

  11. Merging will definitely be my biggest test. MM and I spend the weekends together – he has stuff at my house (some clothes, shoes, toothbrush) but I still enjoy my space. That’s going to be a tough one. Everyday I look at my closet and wonder how another person will move in.

    We’re supposed to do an inventory at his house to determine what’s coming. Something coming from his house = something leaving my house. Excluding his dining set – I don’t have one of those.

    Anywho – we’ve been talking more about ‘our’ house and what we’re going to do. Thing is, this thing is happening in a little over 2 months…

    Great post – now I’m going to go have an anxiety attack….

  12. This was a really good post. I don’t think we sometimes realize how somewhat “comfortable” you can get being single without realizing it, until somebody you truly love challenges it. This will be interesting. Thanks for sharing.

  13. We are here >.<

    He didn't move into my house, I moved into his because it is a 10 mins. commute for me to work and closer to the city center and all its activities. It was hard, though, as I had never lived with a man prior to getting married. I *just* moved my furniture out of my house in September 2009. I got married in September 2007. (yes, I am crazy but you knew that already…)

    For a long time I would go to my house on a weekend and chill out over there watching cable like I lived there still, had food in the fridge and everything. Once he made me my own little office/den in our house I spent less time over there and more in my little room. Now I'm all moved in. Yay!

  14. As the sole bird in the nest for a long time, the merging process was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done. I’m still selfish to some degree but it gets better as time goes by.

  15. Great post. It takes some time. Somethings will have to happen immediately but others can happen more naturally. I’ve been married for almost 4 years and we are still merging in some respects.

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