I had to go meet a recruiter today on my lunch break. I suggested meeting at a Starbucks instead of fighting Galleria mall lunchtime traffic (normally hellish). She countered with meeting at her “satellite” office (some shared office suite) that was even further NORTH of where I am currently working. *sigh*

I got turned around trying to get on the Beltway from here because my job is where two major highways intersect so it’s not all that intuitive where to get on the road. We are supposed to meet at 11:30. At 11:30, I’m just now figuring how to get on the highway. Google Navigation is just totally effing me over right now.

I’m hot, frustrated, and mad that I have to meet this recruiter so picture a short black woman in glasses in her car just going off. Straight meltdown. I know folks thought I was INSANE. I was cussing, trying to listen to the GPS tell me the wrong azz way to go and trying to avoid all of the folks driving slow in the left hand lane. Then I start fussing with God. I told him this is for the birds and it’s getting old and these recruiters are getting on my nerves and a whole litany of grievances I had. I almost said this was some bullsh*t, but I’m too scared to cuss God and get struck down. LOL!!

But yeah, me, myself and I methophorically laid on the carpet and kicked and screamed. Felt good too. You can call me childish all you like. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care!!

There is a happy ending: I made it to the meeting, calmed down and met with the recruiter. I apologized to Jesus on the way back to the office though.

I may be unruly, but I’m not crazy!

Ya’ll still having tantrums every now and then or are you too grown??

But in the Mack household it was bittersweet. It was very bitter for my dear husband. He lost his mom a year ago on May 9, 2012. Yep, right before Mother’s Day. It’s sweet for me because I am blessed to have my mom still here with me, to love on and to cherish.

So it was hard for him, and it was hard for me because it’s awkward when one spouse’s parent has gone to be home with the Lord and the others is still here. Especially when it’s the FIRST anniversary. Those firsts are always the hardest. And it’s hard because you don’t always know what to say. And so I was stressed out about it. And when we went to the store to get peach roses for his mom to place on her grave and to get a gift card to my mom’s favorite store, it just doesn’t seem fair. And it isn’t, because life isn’t fair. When he hurts, I hurt too.

But my husband is so wise and so brave, and he reassured me that I need not be subdued in my celebration of my mama. After all, that’s what I should do and he was happy to celebrate her, after she was his family now too. And I was able to exhale, and to relax, and to be thankful for the gift HIS mom gave to me: which is him. And this is why I love him so.

And so we remembered his mom with peach roses. And celebrated my mom with cards, gifts, a fine dinner, and lots of hugs and kisses.

Happy Mother’s Day Frances. Happy Mother’s Day Ruthie. Our love overflows for you both.

I probably talk about my work life a bit too much on this here blog. It’s been a stressful point in the almost 20 years (!!!) I’ve been in the corporate arena. I’ve made some choices early on that are starting to affect me now and because I am married now and have another person whose welfare I must consider, I’m a bit angry with myself. But that’s neither here nor there, at this point. God has blessed me yet again. My contract at my current plantation ends today and I start another one on Monday at a new plantation. But getting from point A to point B has been difficult this time. It has been stressful. I have been worried and my faith has taken a tremendous hit. My normally cheery personality has not been so cheery. It has affected me, it has affected my husband. He doesn’t like to see me upset, but at the same time he cannot carry my burdens for me. He can encourage me, but I also have to encourage myself.

And so I haven’t been writing, mainly because I haven’t had all that much to say. I’ve been hunkered down in my little hole in my mind, stressed out. When you are in your feelings, whatever it may be, it’s hard to see that it will pass. But it always does.

I blog because I like to get things out of my head and into a written format and to share a bit of my life with the people who read my small corner of the internet, because in a sense you are my online family. And while I like to put up pretty pictures, recipes and funny stories, it’s important to share, to some extent, that I am human and have my own personal struggles.  My struggle may not be your struggle, but no one person’s  issue is bigger or smaller than another else’s.

I would submit to you to not hunker down in the depths of your mind and wallow in your stuff. Talk to someone, get it on paper, cry it out, do what ever you need to do to make yourself whole again.

My coworker sent me this video one day when I was particularly in my feelings and sometimes I just have to put this bad boy on repeat:

Mary Mary – “Go Get It”

Don’t run away from whatever it is that you may be dealing with. Fight through it. You are going to come out the other side just fine. I promise.

(Shout out to Tazzee and Jeanine for checking on me.)

But there is really is something to that notion. Twitter is good for a vent session and sometimes you aren’t necessarily talking to any of your followers or even expecting a response. Sometimes you really do just need to get the words out of your head and out onto of your keyboard.

So this I tweeted through it this morning and this is what I had to say (to myself more than anything). Maybe it will help someone else.

Read from the bottom up:

@TiffanyNHouston So I hope ya’ll have a good supporting cast of people in your life that help you keep it ALL THE WAY REAL.

‏@TiffanyNHouston Cause sometimes being an adult isn’t easy or all it’s cracked up to be.

@TiffanyNHouston So I’m glad I have a supporting cast of people who keep me grounded, are logical, and keep me from jumping off the ledge.

‏@TiffanyNHouston  Or rather what God had decided I was going to do. But in the interim I had anxiety and worry,

‏@TiffanyNHouston But what I do know that I have been struggling with a decision I needed to make and this morning I got confirmation of what I needed to do.

‏@TiffanyNHouston There is a saying that no man is an island. I don’t know who said it so don’t ask me that

When you are struggling with a decision or need some feedback who do you turn to?

We had a very good Easter:

My mom and my niece in their Easter dresses.

Miss Chandler is missing some front teeth!

Happy Easter from the Macks!

Daddy’s little girl.

It’s spring time in Houston (FINALLY) and Lent is over so it’s time for crawfish!! We went to the Pearland Crawfish Festival this weekend.

Corn, potatoes and bugs..10 pounds worth!

Lots of ducks to win a prize.

The brothers Mack: middle, oldest, youngest.

And of course, everyone loves a Carnival!

Hopefully it’s warming up where you are!

We spent a good portion of yesterday evening talking about what he’d found out such as:

•  A female ancestor of his moved to the UK shortly after being emancipated from slavery.
• A male ancestor fought in WW1 and we were able to see his draft card.
• A great-great grandmother was married at least 3 times and we saw the various name changes on the census records
• A great-great grandfather apparently fought on the side of the Confederacy!!!  He applied for a Confederate pension but was denied. Here’s a picture of the application.

And we haven’t even started mapping my side of the family yet. I’m excited to see what I find out. I’m going to have to call my mama and take good notes.

Do I have any amateur genealogists out there? Any tips for us??

Where’s a good place to check out some pretty lights?

 That’s a really good question. I don’t think I’ve ever looked for a place here in Houston to go and see pretty lights. There are certain neighborhoods that are known for having really nice Christmas decorations and lighting displays but that’s all I can think of offhand.

 How well do you sleep with the lights on?

I don’t. I’m a light sleeper anyway so having a lot of light in the room is a real distraction. There is a light right outside my bedroom window that I wish I could tear down but it’s attached to my building. I should get those black out shades.  I don’t do night lights either.

 What’s your favorite song with the word “light” or “lights” in the title?

 Of course, All of The Lights by Kanye West.

What “light” version of some food or drink is as good as (or better than) its regular version?

 The diet versions of Snapple drinks are just as good as the original, IMO.

 Which light in your house seems to need changing the most frequently, and which the least?

 The light bulb that seems to need to be changed the most is right about the washer and dryer in the garage. It is always blowing out. (That may have to do with the cheap bulbs we use too!) I have the old school “Hollywood” style clear bulbs in my bathrooms and they tend to need changing pretty frequently too because they are high wattage. We had several of the long lasting halogen bulbs but we haven’t gotten around to picking up more of them. They’re expensive too!

Have a go at the Friday Five, if you like, in the comments.

However, many of the more recent graduates pointed out  in comments on the FB meeting invite that the community around my high school is in decay (and to be frank was always low income when I was there 20 years ago), the school itself is bad shape as it was built right after World War II, and the enrollment is less than half (530) of what the capacity can hold (around 1200 students).  Test scores are horrible and there has been a revolving door of administrators.  Parental and alumni support has been negligible. In fact, many of  more recent alumni commented that they welcomed the merger and subsequent building of a new facility as they felt it would benefit the community and future students.

I feel somewhat guilty because I agree with them.

I did not grow up in the community where my high school is located. I got up every morning to catch a 6:20 AM bus crosstown because of the gifted and talented program located there. That was the only reason I went. I enjoyed my time there and the friends that I made, but I don’t really have a strong connection to my high school at all. In 2002, the parents of the students in the gifted and talented program lobbied the district to move the program out of my high school to make it a stand alone one, first at an unused elementary school and finally to a brand new high school located in a gentrifying area right near downtown Houston. When the GT programs moved, the death knell basically sounded for my high school.

I feel bad because I felt like perhaps I should have done more as an alumni, that perhaps I should be more up in arms about this. After all this is a predominately Black and Hispanic community that is about to lose their neighborhood school. On the other hand, my practical side thinks that if the school has basically gone to shit, why shouldn’t the folks in the area, who DO pay school taxes like every other resident of the District get a decent school for their children? Why should their hard earned dollars continue to be used to put lipstick on a pig??? But even worse, why are the people in the community getting outraged NOW? Especially when it’s pretty much too late.

I’ll always cherish the memories, but Myron made a good point when we were talking about it, sometimes growth requires sacrifice.

I wonder if I should have sacrificed a bit more myself.

• Where do you live now?
• Where were you living when you graduated from high school?
• Where were you living when you graduated from college?
• Comparing where you lived when you graduated HS vs graduating from College, which area would you prefer?
• Did you live on campus during college? If you lived at home during college, did you have a curfew?
• If you didn’t go to college after HS, what did you do?
• Where were you living in 1996?
• Where were you living in 2008?
•  Do you keep in touch with any of your college roommates?
• What’s the farthest you’ve traveled for a wedding?
•  If you’re going on vacation this year, where are you going?
•  What’s the farthest you’ve walked, and why?

I got in bed and grabbed my phone (I have an addiction, I know), settled in and pulled up Twitter again to see folks final commentary and when I logged back it my feed was ON FIYAH. Apparently the Onion, a website known for its biting satire had called a 9 year old girl a very ugly name. I’m not going to link them but this blog post pretty much gives a good summary.

I typically don’t hop on the Twitter bandwagon about a lot of things because if you did, you’d be mad about something every 30 seconds and half the time it’s faux outrage but I have a 7 year old niece and I certainly wouldn’t want her called out of her name. It’s very telling that there have been other Oscar nominees who have been children who apparently are off limits, but when a little black girl dares to correct someone about how to pronounce her name, then it’s a problem. I get that Quevenzhane Wallis is a celebrity and is in the public eye, but she’s still a kid. There was a time in our society when kids were exempt from public ridicule and attack. Apparently that time has passed. This should be one of the happiest days of her life and it’s tarnished because some asshole on a Twitter account thinks it’s cute and funny to call out a kid in the name of laughs. I’ll be first to say that people, black folks especially, have a knack for coming up with some creative names for children. I have seen some names that have made me shake my head and wonder how to pronounce them. But the point is, a person’s name is a person’s name and they have to right to be called by that name. And calling children, be they celebrities or the 9 year old around the corner words used to crudely describe female genitals is bad business and out of line.

I’m getting tired of the coarseness of pop culture and the mindset that anything goes and you can’t tell folks shit cause they can do what they want. Unbeknownst to them there ARE boundaries and there are folks who still believe in common decency.

I took the time to drop a few sentences to the good, fine upstanding folks at the Onion and I hope you will too. Here’s how to get at them:

Please send all press inquiries to: press@Theonion.com

Chairman David Schafer (davidkschafer@gmail.com)

President and CEO Steve Hannah (shannah@Theonion.com)

COO Mike McAvoy (mmcavoy@Theonion.com)

Update: The Onion apologized. Yeah, no. The comments on the status are a mixed bag. Read at your own risk.