Category Archives: Random Ramblings

On Keeping Your Hands To Yourself

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When I was 25, I was living with my then boyfriend in a cute little 2 bedroom apartment on the southwest side of Houston. I was footloose, fancy free and I-N-D-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. (Word to Lil Boosie!) And typical of most 20 somethings, I really didn’t know that much at all and very often thought first of myself and not much of others, including him.

I’ve always been a mouthy chick, slick with the tongue and nice with my words. My ex-boyfriend was a very nice guy,  extremely laid back and very slow to anger. We rarely had cross words. Until that night I my mouth wrote a check my ass couldn’t cash.

I don’t remember what instigated the argument and it doesn’t really matter now anyway. What do I know is that I went for the jugular with my words and said something about my ex-boyfriend’s father. I was deliberately trying to hurt him because I knew that my ex didn’t have much of a relationship with his father and it pained him deeply. We’d talked about it on numerous occasions. The look on his face let me know that I’d hit WAY below the belt. Then in my infinite brilliance, I decided I’d get up in his face, talk even more shit, and PUSH him a few times. Did I mention that my ex at the time was 6’2’’ and around 275 pounds and had played college football?

Something in him broke. He grabbed me in a bear hug, shook me REALLY hard and left the room. He then closed the door and managed to lock me in the room so that I couldn’t get out. I could hear him outside in the living room. He was crying.

Eventually he did something to the door so that I could get out. I came out and he was gone. He left the house and stayed with a friend that night.

Fortunately I had the sense enough to be ashamed and embarrassed. When he came back home, he apologized for shaking me and said he cried because I hurt him so bad and because he shook me. And I apologized for putting my hands on him. I was dead ass wrong.

And to this day, I’ve never put my hands on any other man I’ve been involved with.

Like many people I’ve followed the Ray Rice case with interest. I think that the 2 game suspension from the NFL was too light. Domestic violence is WRONG and I want to make sure that I make that clear to anyone who may read this post on that. Victims of domestic violence should never be blamed for what happens to them.

Yet I understand what Stephen A Smith was trying to say in his very inarticulate and very clumsy remarks. And I understand what Whoopi Goldberg was getting at when she asserted that women should keep their hands to themselves.  Human beings have breaking points. And sometimes conflicts get escalated by one party or the other.  Neither gender should seek to deal with any conflict by using violence.

I think that the real message that’s being lost in all ranting and raving is this:

MEN, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

WOMEN, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

EVERYONE, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

The lessons that we learned in nursery school, as little children, still do apply to our lives as adults. We should do well to remember them.

Currently…

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This is a good way to slide a blog in on ya’ll!

ENJOYING – How quiet the office gets when it’s Friday and everyone has gone to lunch.

LOVING – the new lip glosses that I just ordered. (Thanks @3kids1036!)

FEELING – like I don’t want to do any work for the rest of the afternoon since I’m going to be mad busy all next week.

THINKING ABOUT – the couples dinner that we’re going to tomorrow evening at this place – Mockingbird Bistro. Can’t wait!

LISTENING TO: My Dirty South-Midwest Rap playlist on Spotify. I got over 200 songs, yo!

WATC HING – 24:Live Another Day..I’m behind on my episodes but I’m going to binge and catch up this weekend. Jack Bauer is back, baby!

MAKING ME HAPPY – My husband, who puts up with my shenanigans!

Have a good weekend!!!

 

 

 

What Has Always Bothered Me About 12 Years A Slave

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First let me say that I have not seen the movie. I have a copy of the book that I haven’t read yet. So I am not commenting on the acting at all. I’m quite sure it’s a magnificent film. 

A friend posted the following article on FB:  Lupita Nyong’o And What It Means To Be Black

This was my response in her status:

This is a great article. I must admit that while I’m thrilled that Lupita won, it makes me feel some type of way that it took a British director, a British actor and a Kenyan actress to tell a Black American story about slavery. Other blacks in the Disapora love to look down their noses at us ‘regular Blacks’ without acknowledging that they were the ones who sold us down the river. Then they come the US and don’t bother to understand the racial dynamic in play while they benefit off the sacrifices on my ancestors. I’ve written a book. I shouldn’t have blogged in your comments! Lol!

As a descendant of American slaves, this bothers me. A lot. It’s like having a small pebble in your shoe while you are walking down the street. And I probably sound petty but were there no Black American actors and actresses who were considered for the roles? Maybe there were..maybe there weren’t, I don’t know. And yes I realize that slavery existed in quite a few places, like the Carribean and Brazil, but this ain’t about those places. I’m glad the movie got made, I’m certainly glad Solomon Northup’s story was shared with the masses but still…it just doesn’t sit too well with me.

Why I Bought A Chromebook, Part 2

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Now on to part 2 of my Chromebook review and how it works best for me.

When I first opened the box my Chromebook came in (via Amazon), I was pleased. Visually it’s not a Macbook Air in terms of style but it’s a nice gray color and it is light! It weighs less than 2 pounds. It’s well made, it doesn’t feel cheap or flimsy and it opens and closes snugly.  It’s a lot smaller than your average laptop at 11.6 inches corner to corner. But for sitting on the couch or in the bed chilling, it’s a nice size that sits in your lap. And if you gave it to a kid to use, it would be more than adequate. The screen is average and has brightness controls which help. There are decent sounding speakers that get loud enough for you to watch a YouTube video or a movie but obviously you aren’t dealing with something high-end so don’t think you are going to get Beats by Dre type bass.

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My Acer on top on my old Compaq laptop.

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How the Chromebook screen looks.

My Chromebook is made by Acer and comes in 3 variants: 2GB RAM, 4GB RAM, and a 4GB RAM with a touchscreen. The base model (which is what I have) starts at $199. Are you starting to see why these little computers are popular? The price is definitely right.

I’ve had my Chromebook since Christmas and I use it daily. It charges in a little over an hour and I’m able to get 6-7 hours off of a charge. Because Chrome OS is so light, it’s almost an instant on. I open the top and get to doing what I want to do. I’ve gone to the Chrome App Store and downloaded various web apps such as Pocket, Any.DO, Dropbox, TweetDeck, Pandora and Netflix. They have been optimized to run on Chrome, and often they will sync with your phone. The Chrome App Store has various apps and extensions for business, education, games, social media and more.

A Chromebook is not a Windows laptop and as such has a very small hard drive, about 16GB, which is the same storage space as my phone. And of course, you cannot load full fledged programs. So what do you do if you need to be productive? You can use Google Docs, which allows you to create documents, spreadsheets and presentations and save them in Microsoft formats. Or you can set up a SkyDrive cloud account and use their Microsoft web apps for Word, Excel and PowerPoint for FREE. They are more than adequate for light work or for a student. If push comes to shove, you can actually remote into your Windows PC using Chrome Remote Desktop. Pretty cool huh?

In fact the only major limitations I see with my Chromebook is the ability to upload music (and Google is currently working on a way to sync Chrome OS to Google Play Music) and the ability to upload pictures. I will still need to use my old laptop for that. But even then, there are several photo editors that can be used in Chrome to edit, correct or add filters to the photos you have stored online. And because Chrome is constantly evolving, Google typically puts out updates every 6-8 weeks with new features and functionality.

So those are my impressions of the Chromebook in a nutshell. I think that I made a good choice for my needs and I will be able to use this device for several years. There are several manufacturers to choose from and a few different screen sizes. In fact I typed this whole blog post on my Chromebook.

Here a few links to give you a bit more info:

If you have questions, feel free to leave them in the comments.

Why I Bought A Chromebook, Part 1

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I am admittedly a bit of a techie, in particular when it comes to phones, tablets and laptops. I follow several personal technology blogs and Twitter accounts. I keep our devices updated. Between the two of us we have 2 cells, 2 tablets, a laptop, a desktop, an Xbox 360 and the brand spanking new Xbox One. We have a lot of gadgets to play with right? So why add another one?

Well my Windows laptop is 4+ years old and between all the updates/virus protections, it has gotten slow as molasses. I’d read several reviews about Windows 8 and it seemed that folks weren’t that thrilled with it as well as being confusing to use since it has been so radically redesigned from Windows 7. And then I thought about what I really use my laptop for. So I made a list.

  • I tweet. And I like to live tweet TV shows so I prefer a keyboard to typing on my phone or tablet.
  • I go on Facebook.
  • I stream/upload/download music.
  • I read books.
  • I surf the net in general.
  • I check my email.
  • I upload photos.
  • I might chat online a bit.
  • I watch Netflix or other TV shows that can be streamed.

And guess what….I do ALL of that online for the most part. All of that is done within a browser and in my case normally it’s Google Chrome. And because I am a person who is heavily tied into Google services such as Gmail and Calendar and use Android devices it made sense to take a closer look at the Chromebook.

First off what is Chrome OS:

With Chrome, the browser actually is the OS — in this case, the Chrome OS builds on the Google browser of the same name. It’s pre-installed by PC manufacturers who adhere to Google’s hardware specifications.  The OS uses Web-based applications, so you don’t need local storage for software, either.  Chrome OS is based around the cloud computing model. That means that all of your data and applications are stored online, in the “cloud,” so that you can access them from any computer, anywhere. Chrome is a seriously stripped-down, fast OS. Because Chrome supports only Web capabilities, it can do away with much of the bulk and unnecessary system checks that slow a traditional OS.

A fairly fast Windows machine might finish booting in around 45 seconds. In contrast, Google wants Chrome laptops to be up and running in 7 seconds or less. The Chrome OS user interface looks much like the Chrome browser. Beyond this browser-like OS, these laptops have no pre-installed software. There’s an integrated media player that lets you watch movies, play music and view photos when you’re offline. Adobe Flash is already integrated into the Chrome browser, so you can view all Flash Web sites, too. When you want to write a report, for example, you just access a Web-based word processing application.

For more basic computing tasks, though, you should be able to find applications that suit your needs, using Google’s Chrome Web Store. Similar to Apple’s App Store and the Android Market, the Chrome Web Store will offer applications for a huge variety of tasks.

So then I thought long and hard about what the Chromebook could do that my tablet couldn’t do and it came down to the fact that sometimes you really just need a keyboard to do certain things. And I was getting frustrated by my old slow laptop, when I needed to do it. So I didn’t look at the Chromebook as a total laptop replacement, it became more of a companion to the old laptop I have as well as my other tech toys.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I will talk about my initial impressions of the Acer Chromebook that I got for Christmas and how I’ve been using it.

Would You, Could You?

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What are your thoughts about marrying or dating men with significantly less education than you? Have you ever done so? Why or why not? If so, what were the advantages and disadvantages of doing so? What advice would you give educated women who are not comfortable dating men with no college degree and/or men who work blue-collar jobs?

One Hundred One

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DSTFoundersDay

Today is the 101st anniversary of my sorority’s founding. It’s quite an accomplishment to see an organization founded and run by black woman still be in existence after over an century. So to all of my lovely Sorors, a big old Ooo-oop! Let’s keep on striving and serving our communities!

Sometimes I get private messages from women I know, asking me are they too old to join a sorority or thinking that it’s only something you do in college. And to them I say this: as long as you have breath in you, are willing to work hard to serve others, and desire the camaraderie of like-minded women, you aren’t too old or too “grown” to apply for membership in Delta Sigma Theta or for that matter in any other sorority you may have an interest in. If it’s been a personal goal of yours, then by all means follow through. Sorority life isn’t for every woman and it can be challenging, simply because it’s a group of humans working together who have different personalities, but I don’t regret not one single bit. The women I pledged with truly are my SISTERS. And for a person who doesn’t have any biological sisters, I’m lucky to have them.

Zero To Hero: Introduce Yourself

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In an effort to flex my blog muscles and get in the groove of writing again, I’m doing the Zero To Hero daily blog challenge. I’m a few days behind but I’m going to attempt to catch myself up with a few posts.

Today’s prompt: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post.

I actually think my About page covers things pretty well but I’ll recap. I’m 40 years old, I’ve been married for a little over 3 years, no kids, and I started this blog to capture my wedding planning. Since I’m lazy, when the party was over I didn’t feel like starting over and my people who follow me were already here so I just kept on rolling.

I talk mainly about whatever strikes my fancy: married life, technology, food (my husband is a great cook), books and relationships.

I am a member of a historically black sorority (Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.) and I work in the accounting/finance field. You will probably read some posts about me lamenting the job search I’ve been on for the past year.

I don’t have a blog brand and I’m not making any money on this thing. I blog because I think I have something to say, and a few people actually read it. I appreciate all who stop by, read and comment.

2013 Books In Review

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Inspired by Tracy over at Starting Over Fresh, here is a list of all the books I read in 2013.

I didn’t quite hit my goal of 30 books and I’m actually about 1/4 of the way through one I started a couple of weeks ago but we’ll just go ahead and count that for 2014. I think I will stick with the same goal for this year.

One thing I’ve noticed is that I am a book whore for novel series..Once I read a book and realize the character is part of a series, I binge on reading the entire back catalog and I tend to buy them which costs money.  Luckily one of my lovely sorors, Ernise over at Healthy Everyday told me how I could use Overdrive to send them to my Kindle app! I plan to do just that to save some coins this year.

So without further ado, here’s my list:

  1. The Racketeer – John Grisham
  2. Hell’s Corner – David Baldacci
  3. The Innocent – David Baldacci
  4. The Cleaner – Brett Battles
  5. The Deceived – Brett Battles
  6. Shadow of Betrayal  – Brett Battles
  7. The Silenced – Brett Battles
  8. The Destroyed – Brett Battles
  9. The Collected – Brett Battles
  10. Pretty Boy Problems – Michele Grant
  11. The Fallen – Mark Terry
  12. The Serpent’s Kiss – Mark Terry
  13. Sins of the Father – Mark Terry
  14. The Valley of Shadows – Mark Terry
  15. The Hit – David Baldacci
  16. Poe – Brett Battles/Robert Browne
  17. The Instanbul Exchange (short story) – Adam Lebor
  18. Damage Control – John Gilstrap
  19. The Enraged – Brett Battles
  20. The English Girl – Daniel Silva
  21. High Treason – John Gilstrap
  22. Sycamore Row – John Grisham
  23. Losing To Win – Michele Grant
  24. The Enraged – Brett Battles

I stayed true to my literary tastes which tend to run to thrillers and mysteries, with a bit of chick lit tossed in the mix. It will be more the same this year.

So how did you do on your reading for 2013? What do you like to read? Any strong recommendations??