Category Archives: Life After The Wedding!!!!

Thirty Nine

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Today is the last day of my fourth decade on this planet. I turn 40 tomorrow. I’m still unpacking that in my head. I. AM. TURNING. FORTY. YEARS. OLD.

I feel some kind of way about it ..I think.

It seems like yesterday that I was graduating from college, then hustling to find a job, then moving to Dallas for said job, then hating Dallas and running back home after 6 months, leaving my college boyfriend in the process. Then I dated a good friend that I’d known since college, then broke up with him, started and finished grad school, bought a house, ran the streets with my sorors and other girlfriends, traveled out of the country for the first time, had good dates and horrible ones and suddenly I was 30. It’s like my twenties were a blur.

At 39, the memories of my fourth decade are more crystalline, more frozen in time, more focused. I guess as you get older, you want to trap more of those memories in your subconscious.

In my thirties I:

• Sold my house
• Moved to Minnesota for my then boyfriend
• Proved to myself I could live somewhere else and have a good life
• Left a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere and moved back home
• Dated an ex (for the second time) that I shouldn’t have
• Got therapy when I needed it
• Went to the Bahamas and swam with dolphins
• Saw Prince in concert
• Bought another house
• Got laid off/fired a couple of times
• Lost my final remaining grandparent
• Met the coolest dude on the planet
• Planned and pulled off a wedding for 150 people
• Married that really cool dude
• Got a lesson about who is a true friend and who wasn’t
• Saw the Grand Canyon
• Became an aunt to my brother’s 2 adorable children
• Put my feet in the Atlantic, Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico
• Supported my spouse in the loss of his dear mother
• And really for the most part came into my own

I’m sure my life event list could be longer but those are some of the ones that really stick out to me. And that’s what is so wild, that’s just ten years’ worth of stuff. Now that I read that, I guess I don’t feel so uneasy about turning the big four oh after all. It might be just another day, but it’s another day I get to learn, growth, evolve and LIVE.

Now that’s worth celebrating, don’t you think?

Two

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On this day, 2 years ago I got married.

And I’m thankful and grateful to God for sending me this husband of mine, who is a monument of strength and patience. I love him so much.

But let’s not be fooled, this year 2 has been rough and I’m glad to be headed into year 3.

We lost my mother-in-law, which was and still is a crushing blow to both of us, especially to him.

I have struggled tremendously with a difficult manager at work, which has caused me much worry and moments of self doubt.

There has been much frustration in our efforts to create a family as well.

But through it all, my husband is my rock. His encouragement and steadfastness know no bounds. His sense of humor keeps me in stitches. His skills in the kitchen keep me well fed. His intelligence and thirst for knowledge continues to amaze.

And so, this what year 2 of OUR marriage looks like.

I am blessed beyond measure. All praises be to God for the things he has done and will continue to do in our marriage!

Happy Anniversary Myron! I love you!

 

Year One: The Wife

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A year ago today, I got married. Life changed as I knew it.

You can read all the books and articles about marriage and survey all of the married people (and previously married people) that you know and you still cannot imagine how marriage is until you are actually in one.

Marriage is God’s design but your marriage is also YOUR design. I have come to realize that slowly but surely. I have learned that it’s just fine to have a husband who does most of the cooking because he enjoys cooking and it makes him happy to show his love for me in that way. I have learned that it’s OK that I obsess a little bit about the finances and my husband trusts me and my decision making in that area. I have learned that dishes can be left in the sink overnight and that I don’t have to be June Cleaver and that hiring a cleaning lady is OK. Given the choice between folding the load of clothes in the dryer and jumping in the car with Myron to enjoy a beautiful day, the choice is a no brainer.

Marriage has been a reflection of my selfishness.  When I get annoyed at something my husband does, I often have to pause and think of something I do that I KNOW that annoys him about me. That helps me to temper my annoyance (sometimes..LOL!) Marriage has helped to bring the best of of me but also the worse. There have been some low points and challenges but there have been so many more high points, topped off with lots of kisses and hugs from my husband’s strong arms. Marriage is being able to disagree but always being able to talk it out, after a cool down period of course. Marriage means sometimes apologizing for the greater good.

Marriage is no more sleeping alone, being able to put your cold feet on someone to warm up and being told that yes, you do SNORE. Marriage is me not having to think though a problem alone anymore but being able to get another opinion. Marriage is debating everything from college football realignments to the merits of the stimulus plan to why Wipe Out is so damn funny. Marriage is knowing that my husband falls asleep every night around 10 pm but then will wake up again. Marriage is him knowing when I get up out of the bed because I stomp around upstairs like a herd of buffalo. Marriage is knowing that he will ask me where something is on the kitchen without looking for it and that I can find it immediately. Marriage is the mandatory back scratches that are demanded of me. Marriage is him knowing when I’ve had a bad day simply by the look on my face. Marriage is the encouraging emails I get when I am stressed out at work.

Marriage is having my very best friend around all the time. Marriage is realizing that some friendships were more seasonal than I thought they would be. Marriage is someone always laughing at your bad jokes and your clumsiness. Marriage is always having a date!

Most of all, year one for me and Myron has been a tremendous blessing. I am grateful and honored to be Mrs. Mack. It was worth the wait!!

Happy anniversary babe! I love you!!!

Year One: The Husband

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Well it’s here.

We have made a year. I can truly and honestly say this has been the best year in my life. It is something to be said about being with a person who is willing to work as hard at the marriage, as they had at the wedding. Of course there have been challenges in this past year, that comes with being married. I am sure there will be challenges in the future, but this past year has strengthened my confidence in our ability to communicate and solve all issues.

The year has been filled with more good times than bad. My wife is the most loving,caring, and compassionate woman I know. I am so blessed to have her. To be honest, at this point I don’t know what I would do without her. Really just to sum everything up in a few words, this has absolutely been the best year of my life, but it does not end after one year. We are working on a lifetime. Hopefully, babies are next on deck.

Happy anniversary dear! Love you!!!

 

Adventures in Wifedom: Volume 2

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Like most folks in these recessionary times, I am trying to watch all our hard-earned pennies. Since I am the CFO of the family, I make the bills get paid, the lights stay on and we don’t get evicted from the house. I bought my townhouse in 2006 and even then it was over 20 years old. The dwelling itself is in pretty good condition and my ever-increasing maintenance fees keep the property well maintained.

However, the appliances are old and original to the place, even though they work just fine. So as such, I didn’t really put too much thought into replacing them. I figured I’d get around to it at some point. But then I got married.

 The one appliance that has been the bane of my existence, even pre-husband is my air conditioning unit. I have patched it up for the last 5 years, at least once a year, for various ailments because I simply couple not afford to ante up the cash for a new one. Well, it got the last laugh on us on Friday. It gave up the ghost, went quietly into that good night, and died an undignified death.

 I called my A/C guy and his diagnosis was grim: We needed a new outside unit or else  it was going to be hot in therre for the both of us! Ya’ll do recall that I live in Houston, Texas right???

 I got the cold shakes as I wrote (the very large check) to replace the unit and Myron and I have been cold chillin’ ever since Friday evening. I’m thankful for our dual income household right about now. I probably would have needed to lean on my parents for a little additional help if I was single.

 What was the first major financial crisis that you had to tackle with your spouse or S/O or as a single person?

Adventures in Wifedom: Volume 1

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Yesterday brought a change in routines for Myron and I. He finally obtained a transfer to an office closer to our home which  he’d been wanting for a while, which is good. Unfortunately, it meant I’d have to start driving myself into the city again to get to work and I was definitely disappointed. I am going to miss our HOV hijinks in the mornings! (Not to mention, I’d gotten REAL spoiled being dropped off and picked up!)

I dropped him off and made it into work as usual. I planned to take a extended lunch to attend the funeral of my MOH’s father and then get back to the office. I left work, got lost trying to find the church and breathlessly slid in the church house door right before the funeral began. It was a brief service and we were done in about an hour and 15 minutes. All the while, I felt my BlackBerry vibrating in my purse.

 After the recessional was over and I greeted and hugged some friends outside, I grabbed my phone out of my purse and I see this on my text messages: Go ahead and see if you can find a dentist! I can’t take it anymore!!!! I am in so much pain!!!! I may have to go to a ready-clinic to get some pain meds!!

 So I call back and get Myron on the line.

Me: Do I need to come you?

Him: If you could babe. You won’t get in trouble will you?

Me: No, my boss is downtown for the rest of the day. And you’re my husband, you’re in pain, what the hell are they gonna say to me??

 And so I’m off to pick up my husband, who obviously is not playing based on our conversation. I get him home, get on the phone with the insurance company, find him an dentist that will take  him that afternoon, get the directions to the place, go there, get him examined, get him some meds and find out he’s gonna need a root canal. *wall slide of defeat*

 Last night, he told me that he was so thankful to not have to go through this alone (he’s had some tooth issues prior to meeting me) and that he loved me very much. I’m hoping it wasn’t just the drugs talking…LOL!!!

 So the appointment for the root canal is set for next week, he’s at home probably high on vicodin and sleep somewhere, and I’m at the office typing this blog entry when I should be working.

 I’m sure this is the first of many adventures we’ll have together!!!!

Odds And Ends: Hump Day Edition

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Hey ya’ll,

I don’t have much to report so I thought I’d be a little random today.

  • I am writing out my thank you notes from the wedding slowly but surely and my wrist is getting a cramp! I used to give folks who sent me a pre-printed thank you note a strong side eye of disapproval but now I definitely see why they went that route. All that writing is more than a notion. But I want my guests to have a personal note from us and so I write on. And to the folks who read this blog who sent Myron and I gifts, don’t worry, your thank you is coming! I’m doing my notes in batches so I don’t get overwhelmed. I definitely should have gotten a head start on them after the shower and I didn’t. My advice to brides to be: Write the thank you when you get the gift!!! Don’t delay! :)
  • On a semi-related note: My handwriting is really starting to get jacked up!! My cursive used to be pretty nice but I was looking at my notes and I was like damn, my handwriting is not so nice anymore. For my last few notes, I started writing more in print. Does your handwriting get worse as you age or are we so dependent on the computer that we kind of forget how to write??
  • I’ve written a couple of times on here about my discomfort with the fact that a few of my friends seemed to be less than excited or supportive about the fact that I was getting married. Several of ya’ll as well as some folks in my life advised me that what was occurring was natural and apart of the cycle of life and perhaps these friends were seasonal. Well after the wedding, I took another step to reach out to them to check in and see how THEY were doing. They responded back, I suggested getting together for drinks to catch up…and I haven’t heard anything back. I’m over it. I did what I felt was right and I am moving on. Maybe we’ll have an opportunity to re-strengthen those bonds…and maybe we won’t. Oh well. That’s life.
  • I think you should go read THIS.

What’s going on random with you???

Name Change Game

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Myron says my name is High Maintenance! LOL!

We finally got our marriage license in the mail yesterday. I am a bit relieved because now I can get about the business of changing my name legally. It’s been a bit of a pain being in name change limbo. Now I can change my email address at work and my ID badge since my co-workers all call me T-Mack now. LOL!!

I wish I could do everything on-line because gathering up a bunch of forms to take them to the DMV, Social Security Office and the bank is not my idea of how I want to spend my Friday off this week. But I’m going to try to get the major ones done this week and then see what I can change over the phone like my utilities and cell phone bills. Are there others I need to change over that I am missing?

Who out there isn’t planning on doing a name change if you got married or if you are already married???

Recap: Mini-Honeymoon

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After outlaying some major cash on the wedding, Myron and I decided to do a sort of “mini-honeymoon” for a few days and do a longer trip later. Luckily the great state of Texas has some beautiful beaches so we decided to mosey 6 hours south of Houston and visit South Padre Island, TX. I guess you could call it a “state-cation”. :)

Padre Island is a spring break destination as well as a haven for snowbirds and families during the spring and summer, but because it was the “offseason”  (after Labor Day) we saved on hotel costs and virtually had the island to ourselves. For 4 days of sleep, relaxation, sun and sand we spent less than $600.00.

Here are some snaps we took while we were there.

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