Category Archives: Around The Interwebz

On Keeping Your Hands To Yourself

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When I was 25, I was living with my then boyfriend in a cute little 2 bedroom apartment on the southwest side of Houston. I was footloose, fancy free and I-N-D-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. (Word to Lil Boosie!) And typical of most 20 somethings, I really didn’t know that much at all and very often thought first of myself and not much of others, including him.

I’ve always been a mouthy chick, slick with the tongue and nice with my words. My ex-boyfriend was a very nice guy,  extremely laid back and very slow to anger. We rarely had cross words. Until that night I my mouth wrote a check my ass couldn’t cash.

I don’t remember what instigated the argument and it doesn’t really matter now anyway. What do I know is that I went for the jugular with my words and said something about my ex-boyfriend’s father. I was deliberately trying to hurt him because I knew that my ex didn’t have much of a relationship with his father and it pained him deeply. We’d talked about it on numerous occasions. The look on his face let me know that I’d hit WAY below the belt. Then in my infinite brilliance, I decided I’d get up in his face, talk even more shit, and PUSH him a few times. Did I mention that my ex at the time was 6’2’’ and around 275 pounds and had played college football?

Something in him broke. He grabbed me in a bear hug, shook me REALLY hard and left the room. He then closed the door and managed to lock me in the room so that I couldn’t get out. I could hear him outside in the living room. He was crying.

Eventually he did something to the door so that I could get out. I came out and he was gone. He left the house and stayed with a friend that night.

Fortunately I had the sense enough to be ashamed and embarrassed. When he came back home, he apologized for shaking me and said he cried because I hurt him so bad and because he shook me. And I apologized for putting my hands on him. I was dead ass wrong.

And to this day, I’ve never put my hands on any other man I’ve been involved with.

Like many people I’ve followed the Ray Rice case with interest. I think that the 2 game suspension from the NFL was too light. Domestic violence is WRONG and I want to make sure that I make that clear to anyone who may read this post on that. Victims of domestic violence should never be blamed for what happens to them.

Yet I understand what Stephen A Smith was trying to say in his very inarticulate and very clumsy remarks. And I understand what Whoopi Goldberg was getting at when she asserted that women should keep their hands to themselves.  Human beings have breaking points. And sometimes conflicts get escalated by one party or the other.  Neither gender should seek to deal with any conflict by using violence.

I think that the real message that’s being lost in all ranting and raving is this:

MEN, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

WOMEN, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

EVERYONE, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

The lessons that we learned in nursery school, as little children, still do apply to our lives as adults. We should do well to remember them.

What Has Always Bothered Me About 12 Years A Slave

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First let me say that I have not seen the movie. I have a copy of the book that I haven’t read yet. So I am not commenting on the acting at all. I’m quite sure it’s a magnificent film. 

A friend posted the following article on FB:  Lupita Nyong’o And What It Means To Be Black

This was my response in her status:

This is a great article. I must admit that while I’m thrilled that Lupita won, it makes me feel some type of way that it took a British director, a British actor and a Kenyan actress to tell a Black American story about slavery. Other blacks in the Disapora love to look down their noses at us ‘regular Blacks’ without acknowledging that they were the ones who sold us down the river. Then they come the US and don’t bother to understand the racial dynamic in play while they benefit off the sacrifices on my ancestors. I’ve written a book. I shouldn’t have blogged in your comments! Lol!

As a descendant of American slaves, this bothers me. A lot. It’s like having a small pebble in your shoe while you are walking down the street. And I probably sound petty but were there no Black American actors and actresses who were considered for the roles? Maybe there were..maybe there weren’t, I don’t know. And yes I realize that slavery existed in quite a few places, like the Carribean and Brazil, but this ain’t about those places. I’m glad the movie got made, I’m certainly glad Solomon Northup’s story was shared with the masses but still…it just doesn’t sit too well with me.

Stand With Jordan Davis

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Another day in Florida, another case of a young black teenager getting shot and killed simply for just being.

Today the trial begins for the man accused of killing young Jordan Davis while he was with his friends, seemingly because their music was too loud.

You can find out more information about his case here.

Please pray for a fair trial and for his family. Pray for competent judges and attorneys. Pray that justice for Jordan is rendered as it should be correctly THIS TIME.

Jordan-Davis-21

How Not To Be Afraid

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MLK

This was floating around my Facebook feed this weekend and rather than put up a picture and quote for MLK Day, I thought I would link to this piece from Daily Kos, which is much more impactful, IMHO. It’s a bit long but I hope you will take a few minutes to read it, as it touches on Dr. King’s impact on everyday lives.

Happy King Day.

*******************

This will be a very short diary.  It will not contain any links or any scholarly references.  It is about a very narrow topic, from a very personal, subjective perspective.

The topic at hand is what Martin Luther King actually did, what it was that he actually accomplished.

The reason I’m posting this is because there were dueling diaries over the weekend about Dr. King’s legacy, and there is a diary up now (not on the rec list but on the recent list) entitled, “Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Dream Not Yet Realized.”  I’m sure the diarist means well as did the others.  But what most people who reference Dr. King seem not to know is how Dr. King actually changed the subjective experience of life in the United States for African Americans.  And yeah, I said for African Americans, not for Americans, because his main impact was his effect on the lives of African Americans, not on Americans in general.  His main impact was not to make white people nicer or fairer.  That’s why some of us who are African Americans get a bit possessive about his legacy.  Dr. Martin Luther King’s legacy, despite what our civil religion tells us, is not color blind.

Read the rest right here.

Aside

I love to laugh..it’s good for the soul. Myron and I are constantly laughing, at each other, at other people and things that we see on the internet.

What has been keeping me in stitches lately is the Vine website and its related smartphone app. There are some very funny, creative and downright ratchet people uploading those Vine videos and there are several that have kept me rolling on the floor, crying with laughter.

If you haven’t learned to bodyroll, please take lessons from this young man:

https://vine.co/v/bYnKOiPT2nV

If you would like to get your proper twerk on and need to work on your form, then check this out:

https://vine.co/v/hOurJrKjppx

What? You haven’t heard of young Master Terio and his smooth dancing moves:

https://vine.co/v/haaHpa303O5

And finally the Vine that made me laugh till I cried and caught a stomach cramp:

https://vine.co/v/hmiHnlEqLmv

Please don’t call PETA on me!!!

If there are some funny Vine videos that I haven’t seen, PLEASE leave them in the comments!

Just Joking Around

Friday Five

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This was a quick way to kill a little time on Friday afternoon. The writing prompts can be found here!

Where’s a good place to check out some pretty lights?

 That’s a really good question. I don’t think I’ve ever looked for a place here in Houston to go and see pretty lights. There are certain neighborhoods that are known for having really nice Christmas decorations and lighting displays but that’s all I can think of offhand.

 How well do you sleep with the lights on?

I don’t. I’m a light sleeper anyway so having a lot of light in the room is a real distraction. There is a light right outside my bedroom window that I wish I could tear down but it’s attached to my building. I should get those black out shades.  I don’t do night lights either.

 What’s your favorite song with the word “light” or “lights” in the title?

 Of course, All of The Lights by Kanye West.

What “light” version of some food or drink is as good as (or better than) its regular version?

 The diet versions of Snapple drinks are just as good as the original, IMO.

 Which light in your house seems to need changing the most frequently, and which the least?

 The light bulb that seems to need to be changed the most is right about the washer and dryer in the garage. It is always blowing out. (That may have to do with the cheap bulbs we use too!) I have the old school “Hollywood” style clear bulbs in my bathrooms and they tend to need changing pretty frequently too because they are high wattage. We had several of the long lasting halogen bulbs but we haven’t gotten around to picking up more of them. They’re expensive too!

Have a go at the Friday Five, if you like, in the comments.

I Have Questions, You Have Answers: Round 10

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This is shamelessly stolen from my Twitter follower @WitTitsOrSTFU. Thanks, dude!

  • Where do you live now?
  • Where were you living when you graduated from high school?
  • Where were you living when you graduated from college?
  • Comparing where you lived when you graduated HS vs graduating from College, which area would you prefer?
  • Did you live on campus during college? If you lived at home during college, did you have a curfew?
  • If you didn’t go to college after HS, what did you do?
  • Where were you living in 1996?
  • Where were you living in 2008?
  •  Do you keep in touch with any of your college roommates?
  • What’s the farthest you’ve traveled for a wedding?
  •  If you’re going on vacation this year, where are you going?
  •  What’s the farthest you’ve walked, and why?

What’s In A Name?

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I didn’t watch the Academy Awards last night because they are too long and boring and I was tired from my out of town trip, but I did periodically check my Twitter account to see what my timeline had to say about the show. Mostly there were tweets about how Seth McFarlane pretty much sucked and that per the usual, the show ran WAY too long. So I got ready for bed and figured I didn’t miss much.

I got in bed and grabbed my phone (I have an addiction, I know), settled in and pulled up Twitter again to see folks final commentary and when I logged back it my feed was ON FIYAH. Apparently the Onion, a website known for its biting satire had called a 9 year old girl a very ugly name. I’m not going to link them but this blog post pretty much gives a good summary.

I typically don’t hop on the Twitter bandwagon about a lot of things because if you did, you’d be mad about something every 30 seconds and half the time it’s faux outrage but I have a 7 year old niece and I certainly wouldn’t want her called out of her name. It’s very telling that there have been other Oscar nominees who have been children who apparently are off limits, but when a little black girl dares to correct someone about how to pronounce her name, then it’s a problem. I get that Quevenzhane Wallis is a celebrity and is in the public eye, but she’s still a kid. There was a time in our society when kids were exempt from public ridicule and attack. Apparently that time has passed. This should be one of the happiest days of her life and it’s tarnished because some asshole on a Twitter account thinks it’s cute and funny to call out a kid in the name of laughs. I’ll be first to say that people, black folks especially, have a knack for coming up with some creative names for children. I have seen some names that have made me shake my head and wonder how to pronounce them. But the point is, a person’s name is a person’s name and they have to right to be called by that name. And calling children, be they celebrities or the 9 year old around the corner words used to crudely describe female genitals is bad business and out of line.

I’m getting tired of the coarseness of pop culture and the mindset that anything goes and you can’t tell folks shit cause they can do what they want. Unbeknownst to them there ARE boundaries and there are folks who still believe in common decency.

I took the time to drop a few sentences to the good, fine upstanding folks at the Onion and I hope you will too. Here’s how to get at them:

Please send all press inquiries to: press@Theonion.com

Chairman David Schafer (davidkschafer@gmail.com)

President and CEO Steve Hannah (shannah@Theonion.com)

COO Mike McAvoy (mmcavoy@Theonion.com)

Update: The Onion apologized. Yeah, no. The comments on the status are a mixed bag. Read at your own risk.

On A Centennial

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Today is January 13, 2013.

One hundred years ago today, 22 college educated black women conceived an organization for the betterment of women, the African American race and on a larger scale, mankind. The fact that they were even able to visualize such an ideal during a time when most woman and all blacks were considered lesser than in greater society is amazing itself.

I’m not going to go into the history of my sorority, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated. You can go online and look at our website or pick up the excellent book, “In Search of Sisterhood” by Soror Paula Giddings. I’m not going to get into the struggles that affect black Greek lettered organizations, because what affects one, affects them all.

Instead, I’m going to tell you what being a Delta means to me. I was initiated into Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. via the Eta Beta chapter in the spring of 1994. I was 20 years old. I was a finance major and active in several clubs on campus. I was watching the Deltas like a hawk. The Deltas on campus were the bomb..they were the president of this club and that club, our campus queen was a Delta, top administrators were Deltas and I wanted to be just like them.  I went to the rush, along with several hundred other girls, and submitted my application. I waited on pins and needles for a call for an interview and when it came, I cried. But I wasn’t there yet. I interviewed and waited some more. It was make or break time. Did my service, grades and recommedations speak enoiugh on my behalf?? It all came down to the vote of those women in that chapter. It did. I “made line” and entered into the sisterhood with 28 other women on that spring day in April.

I reflect on that day nearly 19(!) years ago and I think of the hours of service to those less fortunate, the thousands of dollars collected in dues in fundraisers for scholarships and donations to other non-profits, the hours spent planning and meeting thinking of programming that assist our communities and youth and I don’t think people really truly realize that all this WORK is done by an ALL VOLUNTEER ARMY. This is not a boast or a a “humble brag” but simply the truth. While it is certainly true that you don’t need to be in a sorority to do community service, I certainly believe that the collective efforts of my sorority have a greater impact as a whole.

Growing up without any sisters, my sorors have become the sisters I never had. Whenever I have needed a listening ear or to be tapped on the shoulder because I may have been getting out of line, my sorors have been there for me. Through college and grad school, marriages, babies, divorces and deaths, we’re still standing together. We all get busy with life, but one phone call is all it takes to reconnect. That type of bond is invaluable and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. Sorority life is not for everyone, and I respect that. But it was for me and I am glad to be in the fold.

Happy Centennial to my beloved Delta Sigma Theta!!! My first love is, and will always be..D-S-T!!!!