Thirty Nine

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Today is the last day of my fourth decade on this planet. I turn 40 tomorrow. I’m still unpacking that in my head. I. AM. TURNING. FORTY. YEARS. OLD.

I feel some kind of way about it ..I think.

It seems like yesterday that I was graduating from college, then hustling to find a job, then moving to Dallas for said job, then hating Dallas and running back home after 6 months, leaving my college boyfriend in the process. Then I dated a good friend that I’d known since college, then broke up with him, started and finished grad school, bought a house, ran the streets with my sorors and other girlfriends, traveled out of the country for the first time, had good dates and horrible ones and suddenly I was 30. It’s like my twenties were a blur.

At 39, the memories of my fourth decade are more crystalline, more frozen in time, more focused. I guess as you get older, you want to trap more of those memories in your subconscious.

In my thirties I:

• Sold my house
• Moved to Minnesota for my then boyfriend
• Proved to myself I could live somewhere else and have a good life
• Left a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere and moved back home
• Dated an ex (for the second time) that I shouldn’t have
• Got therapy when I needed it
• Went to the Bahamas and swam with dolphins
• Saw Prince in concert
• Bought another house
• Got laid off/fired a couple of times
• Lost my final remaining grandparent
• Met the coolest dude on the planet
• Planned and pulled off a wedding for 150 people
• Married that really cool dude
• Got a lesson about who is a true friend and who wasn’t
• Saw the Grand Canyon
• Became an aunt to my brother’s 2 adorable children
• Put my feet in the Atlantic, Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico
• Supported my spouse in the loss of his dear mother
• And really for the most part came into my own

I’m sure my life event list could be longer but those are some of the ones that really stick out to me. And that’s what is so wild, that’s just ten years’ worth of stuff. Now that I read that, I guess I don’t feel so uneasy about turning the big four oh after all. It might be just another day, but it’s another day I get to learn, growth, evolve and LIVE.

Now that’s worth celebrating, don’t you think?

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17 responses »

  1. Happy new decade. It is a blessing to be graced with a new year.

    I remember being 24 and telling people I was looking forward to my 40′s. Camille Cosby was/is my fashion icon for 40 and up. Calm, cool, demeanor short hair, flowing dresses and self-knowing. I did plan to have almost adult kids by 40 but I can still get my Camille on.

  2. Welcome to the club! I am still a newbie so I don’t have any great words. I am still trying it on myself! I only hear positive things…but I am still shocked I am here! As a kid, I thought at 40 I would have a family, etc. I love my boys….but they aren’t like having a hubby and kids :)

    I am calling this my year of yes. I am trying to do things I have been putting off. Make it your year too!

  3. Happy early Birthday, soror! I can relate to this post! When I turned the big 3-0 last year, I was dreading my birthday! (And this is the girl that has celebrated her birthday every year since 19!) When I had my birthday this year, I felt great and still feel great! The most important thing that I’ve learned is that instead of trying to pleaes everyone else, I need to first please myself. But I’m sure you learned that already. :)

  4. Absolutely!!! The last thing you listed (coming into your own) is the main thing I really feel right now. I turn 40 on Thursday. My mother always said that 40 is where life really begins – and I kinda get what she was saying. I’ve been that oddball out of everyone getting excited to get older and I’m really looking forward to this new decade! Happy early birthday!!

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