Three Strikes

I mentioned that I started a new gig at the beginning of November. So far, so good on the job itself. I’m getting acclimated, getting training and meeting people..all is well.

As a part of my on-boarding here at this particular plantation, there is an orientation about the facilities and whatnot and the usual spiel about safety. Before I went to the orientation meeting, my manager impressed upon me the need to pay particular attention to the parts about driving in the parking garage as my plantation was is rather ANAL about garage safety. I mean they ARE DEAD. ASS. SERIOUS about it to the point where there are “safety ambassadors” skulking about who can give tickets and speed monitors that light up if you exceed the speed limits, stuff like that.

So, I’d been trying very hard to stay within the confines of the law, as any infraction would result in an email from Security to you and your manager and would necessitate the need for a “refresher” talk about the safety policy. So imagine my consternation and dismay to receive an email last week, after being employed all of 3 weeks, stating that I had a garage violation for speeding!!!! And to add insult to injury, it was actually my THIRD violation but because they couldn’t find my name in the database (they were looking under my maiden name and how they are linked in with the state of Texas database is both baffling and scary). I dutifully forwarded the note to my manager so that we could have our talk.

So that unsavory bit of business was done and finished with right?

Wrong.

The next day, I tried to turn into the garage to park and imagine my cracked face when the gate denied me entry!!! Better yet, imagine me with a cracked face and a line of cars behind me trying to park and get into the office…*sigh*. I pushed the call button and the security officer let me in so I wouldn’t keep backing up traffic. I parked, and made a beeline to the security office where I was informed that since this was my third violation I had been banned from the garage and sentenced to park in the surface lot across the street for 30 days…say what now?? Only scofflaws have to park over there and I had joined the ranks of those forced to make that walk of shame. *shamed*

But I was not to be denied my chance for appeal..I couldn’t go out like that ya’ll!!! I pleaded my case to the Security Manager (who was quite easy on my felonious eyes) about how could I be penalized for THREE violations when I didn’t know about the first two?? I smiled, batted my eyes, and had it not been cold that day I would have perhaps shown a little tittay meat in order to not have to walk from that surface lot in the elements. Sweet little baby Jesus was on my side that day because the Security Manager graciously decide to wipe my record clean and let me start fresh!! *praise dances*

So now I’m paranoid and I drive in the garage like an 80 year old lady but I guess that was the intended effect right?? Such is the life of a corporate wage slave, feel free to laugh at my pain.

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