Trial by Fire

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I didn’t really know what to write. Partially because I didn’t really know what to say. When I took my hiatus, I did so because I was having issues at work and I was angry about that situation and didn’t really know I was going to handle it. I have a job I love and a boss that I don’t. I was griping and whining, yet I had to be a grown up about it and frankly I didn’t really want to. It was poisoning my home life and my husband was unhappy because I was unhappy. So I needed to bitch and moan…offline..and then get focused on my next steps. And boy have I gotten focused…I’m strictly business at work. My networking game is on full tilt. I don’t know if I will remain employed at my current employer or if I will be able to move around internally to a new role, but one thing I’m not doing…sitting around feeling sorry for myself anymore. I’m educated and I have choices. I’m going to exercise my right to choose.

But my trial by fire wasn’t over just yet. You may remember me writing about my wonderful in-laws in this post. In the short time I have been married, they have truly been an inspiration to me as to what marriage is really all about. However, on May 9th, my lovely mother-in-law was called home to be with God. We buried her on May 14th. And it hurts…it hurts so, so, so bad. It hurts me to see my husband in such pain. It hurt me to see my father in law have to bury his wife of 39 years. It hurt me to see my husband’s brothers and sisters have to say good bye to their mom. It’s a hurt that can only be soothed by the passage of time and as a brand new wife, there’s not much I can do to fix it. So, I listen a lot, laugh at the funny stories he tells, and encourage my husband to reminisce and  hold onto the memories while reminding him that there is no timetable on grief.

So life has been bitter for the Macks as of late. But I don’t despair for very long. Because I have him and he has me and very soon, life will be sweet…again.

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21 responses »

  1. You’ve been in my thoughts and prayers Tiff …and this right here => “… there is no timetable on grief” speaks volumes. It’s so unfortunate that some people will make you feel that there is.

    And that job situation is already unda’ control:YOU.GOT.THIS.!

  2. TIH,

    I know all too well about working for someone that you don’t particularly care for, but it sounds like you are on your game, so stay focused!

    I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mother-in-law. This was actually the opposite for us as Newlyweds, I lost my Daddy just a few weeks before my 1st anniversary and it was my husband’s first time actually seeing me so hurt, but you being there is just what your husband needs. Somedays are better than others, but it is definitely a process. I pray GOD’s comfort and peace to you both.

  3. Hang in there, sis. Tough times don’t last but tough people do. You two will both be better and closer for having weathered this tough time.

    My honey lost both of his parents at different points in his teen years and it’s hard because you want to take away the hurt but can’t. Just continue to be his shoulder and ear. Prayers for you both.

  4. So sorry it’s been a difficult road lately. The good thing is that this shows how strong you are and how strong your marriage is. How comforting it must be for Myron to have his soul mate by his side, imagine having to go through this alone. I saw his tribute to you on Facebook. Super sweet.

    My condolences to you, your hubby and your family. Thanks for sharing with us. Will be praying for you guys.

  5. I am so very sorry to hear this. I am sending my deepest condolences to you and your family. I’m glad that your husband has you to lean on at this time and that you were able to create a bond with your MIL before she passed.

    As you say, we have to take the bitter with the sweet. From here, I’m hoping the sweet is SPEEDING your way.

  6. “And it hurts…it hurts so, so, so bad. It hurts me to see my husband in such pain. It hurt me to see my father in law have to bury his wife of 39 years. It hurt me to see my husband’s brothers and sisters have to say good bye to their mom.”…This brought tears to my eyes!!! It’s so hard to see loved ones hurt, along with your own hurt.

    Praying for you guys!

    As for the job situation? “I’m educated and I have choices. I’m going to exercise my right to choose.”…There it is there!

  7. Praying God’s comfort for you both. My MIL died early on in our marriage and I remember feeling quite overwhelmed and not knowing how to best comfort my husband. You seem to be doing a great job, so be encouraged and just continue to love and support Myron.

    Hope things work out – soon – for you on the job front!!

  8. Continue to hold on to that anchor which is God through all of this. Hugs to you and Myron. Still praying for you guys.

  9. I’m so sorry to hear about your MIL’s passing. Sometimes the best comfort we can offer is a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold.

    Job troubles suck. Sometimes we just have to make a way to make a way. It sounds like you’ve figured out the best way for you to go.

  10. My sincerest condolences to Myron, his family and you. You’re right there is no timetable on grief. Cry when you feel like crying, laugh when you feel like laughing. Both make you feel better afterwards. I’ll keep you both in my prayers.

  11. TIH-

    Love, peace, and healing to the Mack’s.

    I feel you on the job struggle. I, too, am at a place where I love my job, just not the people and the growth options, and while I want change…I’ve become complacent. These two degrees and years of experience didn’t come about for nothing! Thanks for the reminder!
    :)

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